It was the night before the first day of Sophomore year. I had spent most of the summer getting ready for football season and getting fit. The perfect little house I always admired, the baby blue with pretty little white flower boxes and the beautifully crafted fence that surrounded the yard, has a new family living in it. Again. My mother warned my little sister, Samantha, and I to not go near the perfect house, or the new family. She proclaimed to get “vibes that trembled through her soul” since they had moved in.
“Whatever mom. You can’t keep me from making new friends.” I remarked at diner, nearly choking in my ceasar salad as my dad rammed his size 12 foot into my shin.
“The family is... How do I say this... Not stable.” my mother obviously knew something about the perfect house’s new tenants.
“Listen to your mother.”
Who were these people? What did they do? Why was my mom so adamant about keeping them away from our family?
My little sister broke the silence “But mommy! I want new play friends!”
“Who doesn’t? Don’t worry though, honey, I was talking to you brother.”
My sister turned her head toward me, and I could tell she was just as confused as I was. Her pretty blue eyes seemed offended by our mother’s soothing words.
My annoying alarm clock rang far to early. I needed at least 6 more hours of sleep, not to wake up at 6:30 to get ready for 9 months of pure hell. *Whack* I, some how managed to swing my arm, from my still sleeping body, against the snooze button. Finally some peace.
“Zack! Zack!! You better not be sleeping. Get up and get ready! Lets gooo!” my dad shouted through my locked door with a pounding fist.
“I’m sleeping. Go away.”
“Get up! First day as a Sophomore! Lets go!”
“I’m up. I’m up. Go away.”
“You better be. Don’t make me come back.”
I dragged myself off the edge of the bed and into the shower. I unlocked my door so if my obnoxious snooze-less alarm clock decides to come back he’ll know I’m up. By the time I got showered and dressed I had missed breakfast, great, and had barely enough time to make an Eggo Waffle.
“Zack remember what I told you last night. I’m trying to protect you. I love you. Okay?”
“Sure mom. Ya.”
The bus seemed to be awfully loud and crowded today, but there were no new people on it... Weird.
The first part of the school day seemed to wizz by. It felt like classes were 5 minutes long compared to their regular 45 minute length. Lunch got here in no time, and I knew this was going to be a good week. I walked out to the playground with the best mac and cheese I’ve ever had. That’s when I noticed her, and she was perfect.
She shouted at the top of her lungs, her hand held the top of her head like a cherry on top of the most perfect ice cream sundae. I couldn’t tell you what her problem was?no one could, but that doesn’t matter. I loved this girl. I walked up to her slow and steady afraid she would run off like a spooked deer
“Hey.” Half whispering, half mouthing the word like it was something new and unreal. “Are you okay?” She looked up at me. He sky blue eyes bewildered, open wider than a deer in headlights.
“Oh, ugh. I’m all right.” She turned abruptly, her perfect blonde hair spun around her head, I could smell her. Coconut and strawberry. Perfect.
“Hey, wait” She stopped dead in her tracks and waited. She was vigorously shaking, a tree in a high wind situation. “What’s wrong, you can tell me. I won’t tell. I promise” She didn’t speak, but she started calming down. Her shaking grew less and less as we slowly made our way to the huge brown stone were our classes took place. I placed my arm around her bony shoulder, she jumped, but didn’t push me away. I started whispering as if any loud noise would break this tranquility and peacefulness. “What do you have next?”
“Ugh. Um. I.I.I. Ugh. I have. I have Algebra. I think...” She picked up her backpack, but before it could make it the it’s spot on her perfect bony back I grabbed it. “No! Give it back! I can do it!”
“It’s no biggie really. I’m free for the rest of the day. I’m happy to help you.” Sadly, we arrived at Algebra. “I’ll pick you up at 12:30.” And I hugged her. She slugged off into her class, head hung low, and bony shoulders shrugged. I tapped on the class of her classroom door, she turned one foot at a time. “Smile. It looks good on you.” lay taped across the glass. I had made that sign to hang in my sisters room, just because, but now I had a real reason to use it, Sam would have to understand. Hiding the hallway where I stood, peering in from the open areas. Her bony back straightened and she grew 3 inches. “Wow.” 12:29:50 was what my watch read as I impatiently waited for h... Oh I forgot to ask her, her name. Crap. “RRRIIINNNGGG” Perfect. The girl that magically grew 3 inches in a 45 minutes period was the last one to strut out of the classroom. At first I hid and I could she her shoulders begin to sink and her head drop. I emerged and slyfully grabbed her backpack, and she magically sprouted. She looked happier.
“How was class?” I asked her, trying to make small talk.
“How do you think?” She had Ms. Myflider. “Sarah! Can I talk to you before your next class?” Sarah walked out with the biggest smile on her face, it was something never seen on her before, and it was highly contagious.
“What was that about?”
“I got a 100% on our most recent test!”
“Damn right! Congrats! I love your smile, you should really use it more often.” Turning her bright red face away from me she said “Stop, you’re making me blush.”
“That’s the point” Shining her my ‘like you didn’t know that smile’. I’ve only spent a couple of hours with this girl and already I feel like I know her so much. Like I am bettering her life, and mine, and it makes me so happy. We lived on the same block so I walked her home. The same way that I protected her in school. My favorite way of walking now. I loved live. I loved her.
“Thanks for walking me. I hope we can be friends now. I really enjoyed this.”
“It was really no problem. My pleasure.” And then she disappeared into her magnificent house.
When I got home I felt something in my back pocket. I guess she placed it there when I hugged her goodbye. “Thank you so much for being there for me today at lunch. I really don’t know what I would do without you. Thank you <3. Call me.” It was so cheesy and I normally wouldn’t have, but for Sarah. The girl that there was more to then she let off. I grabbed my phone off my bed and instantly texted her “Hey, Sarah. I was wondering if you wanted to go to Five Guys with me tomorrow after school?” My phone buzzed and Sarah’s contact flashed across the front. “Sure! I’d love too. See you after Algebra ;)” She was so cute. Even when I wasn’t with her I can see the quirkiness she kept hidden inside her small self begin to spew out. Sarah became my best friend and picking her up, making her smile, and walking her home was the highlight of my day.
“Hey. Wanna go to the park this weekend for a picnic?” Sure I may be a varsity football jock, but I loved being old school and this may have been the easiest time I’d ever had asking a girl out. I seemed to always make her uncomfortable, even know. She seems to always turn her cherry red cheeks away from me.
“That... That would be fun. Yes, I would really enjoy that.”
“Awesome. I’ll pick you up tomorrow at 11.” She didn’t go for my hug and I kind of stood there awkwardly with my arms around her, remembering her coconut-strawberry smell to hold me off until tomorrow. A car began pulling into the driveway and before I could let her go, Sarah kissed me on the cheek and slammed the door, her backpack still hanging from my shoulder. A tall lanky brunette woman stepped out of the car, first black patent leather pumps then the rest of her.
“Who are you and what are you doing on my porch staring at me?” A voice deeper than I ever expected from her, she must’ve been a smoker. “Well?”
“Oh sorry” I pointed to the door “I was just dropping off Sarah after school.” Her eyes trailed to the pink jansport which still hung by one strap off my shoulder. “I carry her bag for her. I end school at 11:15 everyday and I can leave my bag at school. I love helping her and it’s easier on her.” She stuck her hand out and seeing the confusion on my face sternly said “Bag.” and moved off the perfect path leading the the perfect house where the perfect girl lived.
I picked Sarah up the next morning bright and early to head out to our picnic.“So yesterday I met someone”
“Oh ya, sorry about that. My mom is kind of really protective over me. Especially with guys she’s never met who stand outside of her house holding my backpack.” She moved closer to me on the blanket we set out on the grass.
“Well I completely understand. If my daughter is as pretty as you I’d be the same way.” She shoved her pointy bony elbow into my ribcage.
“Oh shut up.” Again her face was beet red and she attempted to hide it from me. I pushed her
“I can’t believe I can still make you blush so easily.”
“You’re kind of really adorable, okay. That’s why you can still make me blush Zack.” Then we just sat there. Sat there thinking about us. Thinking about the future. We just stared into each others eyes, we don’t always have to speak. To me being able to sit in total silence and still have a great time together is better then any conversation you can ever have. Stares are more powerful than a relationship built on speaking. I love imagining a future with her. She is the pop to my corn and the best to my friend. Well at least that’s what is said on the little polymer clay charms my little sister made for us. I broke the silence first “I brought something for you!” I opened the cliché picnic basket which matched our perfect cliché picnic.
“No! Oh my gosh.” She stretched out her perfect long arms for the crust-cut-off-peanut-butter-and-peach-jelly sandwich I made.
“My specialty, for my special girl.” She glared at me in a loving to tell me to shut up.
I didn’t talk to Sarah after I dropped her off outside of her house on Saturday and she never showed up to school on Monday, she wouldn’t answer her text. She went MIA. I didn’t want people to think I was creepy so I didn’t go over her house everyday or text her everyday or wait outside her classes for her everyday, I kind of just let things flow. When she didn’t show up to school by Thursday I really had a terrible feeling. I had been picking up her homework for her, none of her teacher know anything. The school hasn’t gotten a call or had any of their calls answered by her mother. I had to stop by her house, I need to check on the best person that has ever entered my life.
Her house was dark and empty when I get there, no lights on, the car was out, everything seemed dead. I brushed off the horrible feelings I got and went back home. “She’s on vacation” I had to keep telling myself as to not have a total freak attack. Sarah never told anyone about her struggles except for me. She opened up to me. She told me her life story, starting from when her father died when she was 3. Her father owned many hotels in many cities, he was barely ever home for those first 3 years of her life. He was coming in for her 3rd birthday from the opening of his new hotel in Hawaii his plane disappeared and no one on that flight was heard from again. At age 4 her mother got remarried to a man that tried to get rid of her. He tried selling her, calling social workers, he tried everything in his power to get rid of my perfect girl. One day Sarah’s mother caught him threatening Sarah, so she pulled him out of the house by his hair and told him to never come back. When Sarah was 6 her mother moved her to California and when she was 9 they moved back to their perfect house here. When Sarah entered the 8th grade body image got to her and she went through a huge battle with eating disorders and lots of therapists and finally when she entered the 10th grade her mother got a job that constantly has her travelling so Sarah barely sees her. If you ask me that’s a lot to go through before you’re an adult. Sarah has never fully recovered and she’s told me plenty of times that I’ve saved her life. I feel now that I am too late. She’s gone and she will never return.
Week two of Sarah being MIA. Nothing from the teachers, her locker is piled with work that should have and would have been complete if she was here. I’ve gone to her house every day this week, just sitting on her stoop waiting for her to run into my arms from super tan from her vacation, hair sea salt bleached from the time she spent in a beautiful place relaxing away her worries. Nope. She didn’t come running up to me, she didn’t text or call, her mother never pulled into that driveway and their mailbox was spewing out their bills. I came to this place for hope, but also to remember. To remember the best thing I had in life, the best thing which disappeared. That’s when I noticed something in the grass, it was the key chain my sister had made for us. Sarah’s part of it, the pop corn and the best, lay crushed into 1 million pieces like my heart which shattered every passing day without any knowledge of where Sarah is. I couldn’t help it but the river of tears I’ve been holding back with hope began running down my face and I collapsed. To know that I know nothing about what happened killed me. I could have killed me. I blamed myself for the fact that she disappeared without a trace.
I couldn’t bare to bring myself out of bed and no one forced me to leave it. My mom never came into my room, my dad only knocked to see if I was hungry, and my sister what scared to death about coming near me. She didn’t want to hurt me more she said. It’s been almost a month and still no word. The last time I was at her house I slipped a note under the front door, it was for her mother. She needed to contact me as soon as possible so I could figure everything out. So I could finally know what happened to that perfect girl I met yelling on the playground. Nada. A whole month without her. A whole month of not smelling her sweet coconut-strawberry scent. I forced myself to go to school. I had to keep tabs on what was going on. I had to make sure Sarah didn’t re-appear while I was falling apart. No one forced me to do anything. I just sulked around the school, waiting for those big brown stone doors to open and my blonde hair beauty to come strutting in, like the first time I put a smile on her face, 3 inches taller and 100 times happier. Nothing. Her locked stopped closing and all those paper spilled out. I stopped getting her stuff for her, I just gave up any hope of finding her.
I took the long way home that evening; I wanted to pass by her house one more time. I wanted to reminisce on our times together and how much we changed each other before she disappeared. Emotion overcame me and once again I found myself collapsed on her porch, but soon pulled myself together when I noticed her mother standing over me.
“What are you doing here?”
“Where is Sarah? Where is she?” I managed to mutter through my tears.
“Go home.”
“Not until I found Sarah.”
“Go. Home.” and the door slammed shut in my face.
By the time I got home I probably cried another 10 times, it was only a 2 block walk and I couldn’t cry anymore by the time I got to our front door. My mother was standing with our front door open with my father and my little sister perched in his arms, hiding her face just like Sarah did her blond hair lay just the way Sarah’s would have if I had made her blush. My mom’s eyes were red and her cheeks flushed. My dad stood emotionless whispering into my sister ear, she lifted her face eyes red and cheeks stained with tears. As soon as she laid eyes on me she wiggled out of our dad’s arms and ran over to me.
“You’re home! I was so worried. Where were you?”
“I just took the long way home, don’t worry. I’m here now.” She wouldn’t let go so I had to carry her up to my room and just hold her. Hold her like I held Sarah once.
“Sar.. Erg, Samantha, why don’t you go back to dinner. It’s your favorite.
“I don’t want to go it you don’t. Mac and Cheese isn’t my favorite unless you’re right there with me.” Her sky blue eyes burnt into my soul with pain, a 6 year old shouldn’t burn her beautiful eyes into your soul with pain.
“Sam. I just want to be alone, please go down to mom and dad. I need to think. I need to be by myself. Please” The pain in her eyes intensified. Tears filled the corners of her eyes and her hands tightened around my neck.
“But... Don’t... Why...” were to only words I could make out from what she tired to tell me, with her face buried in my shirt I could barely understand those words.
Again after school I walked past her house, and again I lost it on her porch, and again her mother kicked me off their porch. This continued for a few days until Friday night. I walked by the perfect blue house. This was who my mom was warning me about, but why? This family seems, damaged, not unstable, just damaged. This time there was no car parked in the driveway. There were no lights on in the house. There was no mail to be picked up, or trash to be swept away. The pretty white door slightly propped open. It was so inviting, yet so creepy. I couldn’t help myself. I had to go in. I had to find Sarah. I used the flashlight on my phone to help guide myself to the mess of the prefect house. The perfect house seemed, like Sarah, to be perfect to the outside world but once you’re in there is so many layers and secrets hidden inside. There was no furniture in any of the rooms, no pictures, mirrors, nothing. The only thing that seemed to say behind was papers upon papers. All random. There were bills, Sarah’s untouched school work, blank white papers, littering the floor. I made my way up to the second floor, seeing that nothing on the first floor was going to clue me into where Sarah was. Again all the rooms were empty and deserted. Except for one. It was blue and white, just like the outside of the house. I presumed it was Sarah’s room. It had posters of her favorite bands, gift’s I have given her, flowers I have sent her. But no furniture, no dressers, no closets, not even a bed. Everything that was left behind where objects that I had gifted to the perfect girl. All memories of me were left behind in her perfect house. But where did she go? Why did she leave?
As I was walking back down the stairs, head hung low, tears dripping down my cheeks, I noticed that there was a paper laying on the kitchen counter. It didn’t seem random or out of place. It seemed placed and natural. It seemed to be a letter that had been started, but never finished.
Dear Zack,
I am sorry. M
And that’s all she wrote, that’s all I know.