Daddy, do you remember the time when I was born? Well, I don’t. But now that I think of it I try to imagine what things would have been like seventeen years back in that hospital room when the doctor handed me to mom first and then to you. What were you thinking? Were you happy? I suppose so.
I don’t remember exactly how I grew up but I am sure that it was a scary process. The only part of being an infant which I remember is sleeping a lot. So I am curious. How did you feel when I spoke something for the first time? Or what about the time when I first crawled? I hope you were elated.
Okay, so let’s fast forward to the time when I started going to school. On my first day ever to school I might have held your huge finger in my small hands. And then when you were about to drop me you might have asked me to let go of your hand. I would like to say that I was thinking something along these lines—Daddy, where are we? This is a huge building. There are whole lot of people in here. What are we doing here? Oh! Why did you let go of my finger? I am afraid. What if I get lost? Okay, now why are you patting me on the back all of a sudden? Did I do something excellent for receiving it? Now, why did you turn around? Wait, where are you going? Why are you not taking me with you? Why are you leaving me here with all these people? Daddy? Daddy! Come back and get me from here! Please daddy! Come back?
Pretty dramatic, huh? But since I have always loved melodramas and I have no clue what the reality was I’ll go with it. I hope you don’t have a problem with that. (And in case it turns out that I was thinking the exact opposite of what I have mentioned here then just assume that this is what I was supposed to think then.)
You remember when I was younger how much I loved dressing up like princesses? So you had got me tiaras of different colours. I had always fancied them. I used to love to pretend as if I were the princess of some imaginary land. And technically speaking, I am your princess so it was not exactly pretence, right? Once you had even got me a wand. And I clearly remember telling you, “Daddy, I am a princess not a fairy.”
It’s funny how choices change so drastically. Then I wanted to be a princess so badly and now? I absolutely hate it. Actually, I even wonder now how stupid I was to like stuff of that sort. At that time I liked the colour pink. And when I grew up I could not even stand it. This reminds me of that time when it was my tenth birthday and you didn’t know that my favourite colour had changed. You had got me a pink bag! And how disappointed I was. I was so wrapped up in my own misery that I was unable to see that it was not the gift that mattered but the feelings. And now that I can finally see it, I have already turned seventeen. So I don’t have much time left to spend with you. Soon, I’ll go to a college and then what? I’ll have to leave you. My school life is coming to an end which means I am no longer your responsibility. I’ll have to go out there, make something of my life and deal with my problems on my own.
Up till now you had always protected me from the evil and sheltered me from the storm but now what? I guess I’ll have to do that. Now that I think of it one more thing strikes my mind. When I was small I had always wanted freedom and I had always wished that you’d just stop protecting me. And now that I actually am supposed to do that I’m afraid.
Daddy, to be honest, I am not sure whether I’ll be able to do it or not. It’s now that I realise that I have more faith in you than I have in myself. I’ll call it the irony of a kid’s life.
You had to give up your likes and dislikes so that you could provide me with the best, right daddy? How could you love me so much? At times I wonder whether I deserve it or not. I am not sure whether this is the right thing to say or not but there are days when your love suffocates me. But don’t you ever think it’s your fault. It’s just me, believe it or not. I feel so because I don’t think that even in a million years I can repay all that you have done for me in just seventeen years.
Daddy, don’t you ever feel that you have not done your job well. You have done it better than anyone else in this world. You should know that I love you and will always do.