It was Wednesday, the Ides of March. We sat in our usual circular square formation, intently studying our own identical copies of Brave New World. Or, pretending, at least. It's not like we had anything left to say about Huxley's "majestic" ideas about the 1920s. We had all already spent many nights awake, debating with our (also honors) roommates about how the book was totally unrelatable. People do drugs to escape the monotony of their work lives? Obviously that only applies to the uneducated. At this point, we were all just re-reading in the hopes that we may be able to pull quotes directly from our heads when the paper topics were released, complete with page and paragraph numbers.

A few minutes would pass, and one of us would casually, secretly avert their eyes from the black patterns on the page to steal a glance at the clock. We all loved Human Event, but this week was dragging on as we all laid in wait for spring break. We watched the time slowly count down as each tick brought us closer to salvation. 2:30... 2:35... 2:40... Finally, her voice broke the beautifully awkward silence. We knew it was time. Our brains, hibernating that whole time, woke up. Finally, the lights turned on and somebody was home! Only, they'd be quick to leave again, considering there were only five minutes left before we were free to take on the last two days. After that, there would be a whole week to fill with calculus, physics and chemistry homework, English papers, Human Event reading... We were all full of excitement. I know we were.
"Okay, well, before we go I'd just like to suggest you start reading The Sea, The Sea, since that's our next book."

Already her words painted pictures of glittering sand and smooth, green water. I wager most people could already hear the waves crashing in the distance, and I'd bet they were counting down the hours until they got their beach trips over with and could come back home to Barrett.
"And just be careful. Don't drink too much out there on the beach. I'm not naive enough to believe you guys won't consume your fair share of alcohol."

I watched the room as it slowly filled with small smiles. Obviously, my classmates were amused.

She thought we of all people, the honors kids, would be participating in such rowdy behavior! While they all giggled and quickly rushed out of the room, I sat there in my seat, appalled at the idea. Here I was, trying to make a name for myself, and all of the sudden my professor accuses us - worst of all, me - of that kind of behavior! How despicable! How rash! How presumptuous of her!

I quickly gathered my things and stormed out of the room, hitting the door before my classmates even realized the disgrace they were just given. It didn't take long for them to follow my thoughts though, as in front of me they immediately became full of energized talk - most likely about how offended they were.

As I stomped back to my dorm room, I was still fueled by offense. How dare she think about us in that way! As honors students, we don't have time to create that kind of a ruckus! Nor would we want to. We're honors kids for a reason, of course - we'd prefer to be working ahead than destroying our heads. Spring break is prime time for studying, not partying. We're not high schoolers. This is college.

The weekend comes and I hear people packing their books to take with them on their beach trips - of course they would stay here if they could, but I'm sure their parents are making them go. Those that are lucky enough to evade time at the beach are already up late, having study parties with their friends while they joke about the space-time continuum.

The middle of the week arrives, and already I see people happy to be back from their beach trips and among their textbooks once again. Each night it seems that the dorms come alive with the laughter and joy that mathematics or physics brings. Even I am wrapped up in a blanket, studying the effects of sleep deprivation on the mind and occasionally cracking open my anatomy textbook to study with my boyfriend.

Each day he wakes up about 8 or 9 in the morning and, being the good boyfriend that he is, he reaches over and wakes me up as well. How thoughtful, to not let me sleep in too much! He knows just as well as I do that there is plenty of work to be done. We first shower - together, of course, to preserve water since we do live in a desert - and then make ourselves breakfast. Everyone knows you can't have a productive day unless you start out with a productive breakfast. After that we plop down on his bean bag and begin our studies. Most of the time we work to debunk the social phenomena that pervade Facebook - asking questions like "Why does she think we care about her break up?" "Why is he dumb enough to post pictures of himself with a blunt in his hand?" "What makes her think her new boob tattoo is good enough to post a picture of?"

When we feel like these questions have been adequately addressed, we generally move on to the vast world of Reddit. Here we can keep ourselves updated on world news, breakthroughs in science, and puppies. Even occasionally someone will be bold enough to delight us with an overused meme that describes their life in just a few words.

The closer we get to the end of the break, the more people I see in Honors Hall late at night, making sure they get as ahead as they can before school begins. They are quiet and serene as they are busy learning about theoretical mathematics and how it can predict the future. Extra work, of course - everyone by this time is already at least a month ahead of the class curriculum. I mean come on, everyone knows honors kids are required to stay at least 2 weeks ahead of the homework curve.

By Sunday everyone is back and preparing for Monday when classes awaken from their slumber. The Barrett complex buzzes with excitement as everyone gets prepared to be educated. I know that they're as excited as I am to be so close to being on a strict class schedule again. After all, what else is there to do but go to class and fill your mind with enough knowledge that it feels like it may burst?

Then Monday comes and we are all back in that circular square formation, staring at each other and discussing in small groups all the work that we got done over the break. Although no one says it, I know we are all hoping that we can show off all our new knowledge in class today. As our professor walks in and sits down, we all perk up, ready and waiting.
"Well everyone, how was your break? I hope you had fun and got at least a little bit of work done."

We all nod, knowing that we each got more than enough done. As she launches into the class plan for the day, we all crack open our books. I watch as dust emerges from between the pages of each book, marveling at how quickly dust must accumulate in things.

Reflection

I have always found writing humorously to be very difficult. Even after taking Creative Writing classes for 3 years, I was no better - anything that I thought I had used humor in always came back with a big fat "This isn't funny." I went into this paper with the attitude that I was not funny and, despite how hard I would try, that I could not be funny. I was further daunted by the fact that we had to argue something while being humorous, especially since the piece that I picked as a model did not have a boldly stated argument. Once I began writing, I had to continuously remind myself that the paper was supposed to be funny, not serious. I was pleasantly surprised by myself, that although I found it extremely difficult to write humorously, people complemented me and told me my piece was funny! Overall, I found the mechanics of the paper daunting, but they did not turn out to be as hard to execute as I thought they would be.

The thing I most got out of this essay was a boost of self-confidence. This is the first time in my life that I have ever written anything that was considered funny, and while I do not think my paper is laugh-out-loud hilarious, it is still really nice to be told that I am not a failure at humor. I also found my argument rewarding. I began my paper somewhat unsure of what I was going to argue, but quickly found my train of thought and I feel like it fleshed out nicely, almost on its own. I feel like, after writing this essay, that I might be able to write something else that would be considered funny, and still argue a valid point.

Going in, I felt like "My Day as a Police Ride-Along," was going to be really difficult to emulate. He had that laugh-out-loud hilarious quality that I just could not find in myself, and it seemed like he used it every chance he got. Although it did not help me write the humor in my paper, it steered me in the direction to choose a topic to write on. He used humor to make social commentary, so I could too. It also showed me how effective small bits of dialogue are, to deliver quick jokes and to break away from the visual monotony of paragraphs. I found that although his paragraphs had me giggling, the dialogue really pulled me in, especially if my mind had started to wander.

I feel like I diverged from my professional model in many ways. First, I did not use dialogue as effectively as he did, as I did not see any place to put it where it would not disrupt my flow. When I did use it, it was not humorous, but helped to set up and end my paper. I also feel like I used way more sarcasm in my paper, and less of any other strategies that he used. I found that the humor came from the ideas and relatability of what was going on, rather than from any funny wording - that was one thing I did not even try to create - so I stuck to those instead of trying to create really bad puns or word play.