After all, wasn’t it a silly misunderstanding that triggered Athena to turn Medusa into a monstrous wisp of her former, glorious self? Didn’t a pathetically petty quarrel between Aphrodite, Hera and Athena mark the beginning of the decade long, horrific Trojan War?

They say that girls can never be ‘jai-veeru’ or ‘bikram-bala’. No, we can’t even have the Drake and Josh’s love-hate relationship.

I agree.

We pretend that we love our girls. But the Devil’s Advocate begs to differ.

There is always some thorny, double-aged Prada heal that has the ability to annihilate the legendary bestfriendship between two starry-eyed b****es. Every teenager can safely say, “Been there, done that. Was ostracized because I b**** ed her out. Never again”.

I don’t understand why the female race was branded with these inherent qualities of being so whimsical- so gossip-mongerish, so ‘femme fatale-ish’! Every stereo-typical chick flick revolves around the battle of morality- the Queen bee dramatically ditches her less pretty, less sexy, less ‘mature’ and generally ‘deficient’ childhood best friend to embrace the perks of being a ‘mean girl’. Learning epexperience? Everygirl enters a state of epiphany and vows that “ya girl, I’m not trusting you…her….her and oh! That horrible xyz!”

I have some of the most wonderful friends in the world. But I worry about how the most miniscule details can unleash the wrath of a woman scorned. Why can’t I ‘live and let live’? I resent the fact that we can’t have a drunken brawl in a shady bar and then go back home to do whatever ‘bros’ do.

We want equality. We want the exact same privilege as any ‘virile’ young man. But you know what?

We are not men. I wouldn’t forgive my backstabbing, traitorous beffy who abandoned me to be popular. No. I would give her a permanent nose job with my Prada Handbag!

In the spirit of honesty?

Admit to yourself that you would derive immense pleasure from doing the same!

XOXO

The Devil’s Maybe Advocate.