Road to recovery | Teen Ink

Road to recovery

June 10, 2014
By l.exxii BRONZE, Enfield, Connecticut
l.exxii BRONZE, Enfield, Connecticut
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
I‘d rather be hated for who I am then be loved for who I am not -kurt cobain


“I’d rather be hated for who I am then be loved for who I am not” –Kurt Cobain. Last year was the year where I tried too much to be someone who I was not. I always was worrying about what people were thinking about me. And I started to feel lost and didn't know what to do and didn't know how to handle with it. I started to get depressed because whatever I would do I would always no matter what get made fun of. I was like the outcast of everyone. I didn't tell anyone about it because I felt that I couldn't trust anyone at all. Every day was a battle for me no matter what. Whenever I was happy I would always get put down. So I just stopped being happy. I started to self-harm…and I only told one person about it but it turned out to be a huge mistake because they ended up telling the school consular. They wanted me to go to a therapist so I could talk about my feelings and things like that but I didn't want to do that because I wasn't going to tell a stranger that didn't know me about my feelings and why I was self-harming.



Then I found this band called Black Veil Brides and they helped me through my depression and my self-harm. They taught me not to be afraid of who I was and wanted to be. There is one song by them that really got to me it’s called “Bullet Proof” and it goes like this: “The world's a gun and I've been aiming all my life got something to live for, I know that I won't surrender. A warrior of youth, I'm taking over, a shot to the new world order. I Am Bulletproof”. They saved me and helped me through what I call “My healing process” and if I didn't find them at that exact moment in my life I don’t think I would be who I am today. I believe everyone at some point in their life goes through something like that and if you say you haven’t then I call bullcrap. Now I am half a year clean and it was all because of them and the music I listen to today. I started to write and draw to help with what I am feeling. Now I am feeling happier and now I am not afraid to be who I am. If you don’t like me then I don’t really care. Love me for me and not for who I am not. I believe that if you’re where I was, you can get through it, there is always a way to get out of it whether its music or art or whatever is helping you…you can get through it I promise.


The author's comments:
I want to thank my English teacher for doing an assignment that told us to write about something that we believed in, thank you Mrs.Macijaukas. And I also want to thank everyone for staying with me this past year.

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