Three years. It's been three years and I'm still not over him. His coffee color eyes and his full lips, his smile, and oh my gosh his contagious laugh. How he used to call me everyday just to see how I'm doing or to tell me I'm beautiful. It's hard to imagine life would turn out this way, one mistake and everything I've ever loved slipped through my finger, but I got a beautiful daughter out of that tragic yet beautiful mistake. It was my senior year, I'm currently in the running for valedictorian with my 4.5 GPA, perfect SAT scores and a list of school's that would offer me full ride a mile long- if I even applied to any of them. I should be reaping the benefits of senior year, right? Wrong. I once was a girl perfect as all hell till the day that it all fell, but you see one day my friends asked me to come with them. A party filled with drinking and everything except wisdom, but listen I said I need to study but my friends were like come on have a night with all your buddies its totally a Saturday so come with everybody. All the alcohol you want and every guy is a hottie "Alright" was my response till not after very long it was drinks and puffing bongs until I was barely conscious. I met a guy who kept winking with his eye, wanted to get between my thighs but it was clear he had no conscious, but soon we started kissing and he don't have a rubber, I tell him no stop it, he says Chill, I got it covered. A couple weeeks later every morning felt like death and at the Doc's it's positive up on the pregnacy test.

It was a mistake but a day short of ten months later a gorgeous baby girl was born. And still to this day he has no clue he's the father of my child and I dont want him to know cause all I was to him was a girl he could push around, in short he was my bully and I was the victim that took every hit with a smile on my face. It was a mistake he was to high up on drugs and to high to even realize what he was doing. Blair, my daughter, had his eyes and his smile but she had my light brown hair. All I remember that night was running my fingers through his hair and not knowing it was my worst nightmare brought to life.


Blair wasn't a mistake if anything she was a blessing because she made me realize the lies everyone was once telling me and to see the truth behind their eyes. Even though Blake was my bully he was also my crush of seven years, it started freshman year and I haven't gotten over him. It's been so long to be feeling this way but even after all these years, you still manage to take my breathe away. I've been trying to bare with it, but I could never stop the pain. Since I fell and you didn't catch me or any of my broken- hearted remains. Now I watch you live your life without me in it anymore. It was just so stupid for me to believe that you could change and I could ever be yours. We were from two separate worlds that have acidently collided. You ignored the flying sparks, but I couldn't seem to fight it. Once picture perfect memories, now hanging by a thread. Was it something I did, or was it something I said? Because you said goodbye and walked away without a reason why . I tell myself I'm alright, but it's just another perfect lie. Are you satisfied with the way my heart shattered? Are you proud that it fell the way it did, with the pieces scattered? It's going to take forever a day for me to feel okay again. Is it killing you inside like it's been killing me? All of those lingering flashbacks to how you used to be before we hit high school and of what we used to be. The regrets and the mistakes that I wish I could take back, but there was nothing I could do to rewrite the past. It was time to get a grip on reality and finally let go of you and the moments we shared together a long time ago. And now the closure that I thought I'd never get has at last rested upon me. These bottled-up confessions hidden for so long are finally being set free.