It happened again. I’ve been compromised by my own being, and even though the pain is deep, I can’t help but to wonder what I’ll do next. Somehow I’ll get over it, and push through, I always do, but this time it’s different, like a Hiroshima or Nagasaki.

            They think it’s all because of this girl, but they don’t know much. It’s not because of her, I’m because of her and it’s because of me. Every time I start getting comfortable in life and I think things are going good everything gets ruined. By who? Me. Always me.

            What some people have to understand nowadays is that everyone has their own state of mind; I think it’s just that people never know what to do and we all act involuntary on impulse of distraction. Even though that sounds ridiculous I say that because that’s how I know how I act. I never know what to do, and when I do something, I regret it minutes or days later.

I have never consulted anyone about my issues besides Hannah. Hannah, I thought, was the love of my life and my apple to my pie, even though that didn’t work out, I still talk to her because she knows how I really am. Most people don’t know how I am and that upsets me, which even my own parents don’t. I am actually just a loser. I said it, yes, a loser. I never show my pain, cause I don’t wish to, I like my masks.

Maybe one day we’ll know why I do what I do and how to fix me.

To be continued……