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Thoughts of a Freshman
You stare at the blank screen in front of you, the surrounding silence is oddly deafening. Your own thoughts seem to be a jumbled mess as you try to recall what your momentary purpose is. Suddenly, the muffled sound of a vaguely familiar song breaks through the oppressive silence and you realize that you left your music on from hours before. Now, your attention has shifted; what song is this? You know the words, but your brain can’t produce the title. The stress and loneliness seem overwhelming, drowning out all other thoughts and emotions. You try so hard to fit in and make friends but in the process you’ve pushed your work off for far too long. How could you have been so foolish? With a burst of frustration you jump to your feet; as you turn around your eyes lock onto your bed. You turn to the window, fighting the urge to take a short nap because you know that you won’t wake up for hours; but you’re tired, oh so tired. Then, the sound of familiar voices floods under the door and you’re warmed with happiness; you have found a positive distraction. As you walk forward, your feet moving soundlessly across the carpet, you grab the door handle and pause, listening to the voices that are so close, yet so far. You nervously contemplate leaving the safety of your room; you don’t want to seem too eager and desperate for momentary companionship, but you don’t want to be deemed socially withdrawn or awkward. As you finally muster up enough courage to peek out into the world outside of your room, the voices fade, muffled now behind heavy, wooden doors in their own universe. You sit back down at your desk and stare at the endless amount of work that you have now left until the last minute. The stress and frustration rises in your chest once again and tears start steadily streaming down your cheeks. You think to yourself, “I’m not going to make it.” With a deep breath, you force back the tears and let your fingers hover over your keyboard. You don’t want to give up, you want to keep trying because you know you can do this; but this is only the beginning of such a long journey. You push yourself forward through the exhaustion as you sorrowfully realize that, to your dismay, it is only Monday and you have a long week ahead of you. You stare at the blank screen in front of you, the surrounding silence oddly deafening.
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