Alone | Teen Ink

Alone

March 24, 2015
By Anonymous

Friendship and I don’t really fit together. They could...but it doesn’t really work that way for people like me. I’m kind of a loner. Is that a good thing? Maybe a bad thing? I don’t even know anymore. Not like I used to know before, though.

I can’t be myself around them. My life is basically filled with a bunch of fake people who don’t know me at all.

It’s no longer fair. Nothing is fair. Life isn’t fair.

Is there any place where I don’t have to put up a front with someone; where I can be me?

I feel alone.

Even as I hear the sun shining, showing me that the place I’m walking towards is actually okay for normal people like me, welcoming me into the place full of new faces, it’s still scary, and it always will be. It’s a new school; a new place; a new environment. Everyone and everything is foreign to me. It’s almost like I traveled to a new planet, away from everyone I used to know. I know that everyone is just like me, but I still feel set apart from everyone else.

Different.

It should be like kindergarten; all the way back to elementary school. Everyone is friends with everyone, and no-one doubts the friendship, thinking that it’ll stay forever. But now it feels like everyone judges you for who you are. That’s not how it should be. But that’s just me daydreaming. I know it will never happen. So what do I do? Wait for something to go my way? What if that never happens? What about people getting to know the real me?

Only I know who I am. Even my parents don’t know. My old friends used to know, but now I’m just a withering memory in their still minds, like a stone rippling through a pond, making its mark only temporarily.

She walked up to me when I had no caring family members or friends to comfort me, willing to become my friend. She didn’t even know me, yet she still made the effort to talk to me. Who knows? Maybe I’ll end up being really close friends with her. I looked up at her, squinting my eyes, surprised that someone came to talk to me, as I sat on the front steps of the school, quietly thinking and writing, putting all my thoughts in my diary, as she asked me the question that changed my life forever. She said to me, “What’s your name?”.



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