“I Was Swept Up In The Storm Of Her Eyes
Every Kiss Was Like A Lightning Strike
Every Moment After Was Made Of Rolling Thunder
God She Was Beautiful
God, How I Loved Her”
It’s windy outside today. She would have liked it. Something about weather always brought out shades of her you would never see when it was sunny. The rain on the roof brought out her smiles, and the sunshine stole them away. She was meant for Washington or Colorado to winter in the snow.
“She Spoke To The Wind
And It Replied
A Promise For a New Day
When Summer finally Went Away.”
When the wind blew she let her hair down and stood on her balcony to listen to the stories it told her. She would come inside grinning with watery eyes and windswept features. The leaves caught in her tangled locks and the sparkle in her eyes made her beautiful. I wish those days were back again.
“Fallen Leaves Were Tokens Of Good Fortune
A Symbol Of Beautiful Death
In A World Terrified Of Dying.”

She lost herself in the summer. She walked inside one day with sun kissed shoulders and reddened cheeks. I was expecting a smile but instead she cried. It was too hot for her. The sun was too bright and it hurt her eyes. People were about, and they’d called her names. She’d wanted to swim but there were boats on the water. She missed the winter and she missed her home. I’d held her in my arms and petted her hair. Then I prayed for rain that never came.
“When You Fall You Touch The Earth
When You Sing The Earth Listens
When You Cry The Earth Catches Your Tears
When You Are Born You Come From The Earth
When Die You Return To It
The Earth Doesn’t Make Promises
Because The Earth Owes You Nothing”
It never got better after that. Little by little she drifted further away from me to hide in the storm that was brewing behind her eyes. She didn’t go outside anymore, and her curtains were always closed. She listened to soundtracks of rain and kept her fan on a notch too high so that if clanked and blew her hair into her face. I’d never seen anyone wish so much for dark clouds and stormy weather.
“Hide Not From Your Sorrows
Let Them Drift Freely Through The Air
Only Then Will You Be Rid Of Them”
    Taking her home was my only option. I couldn’t afford it but she needed to visit the rain before she slipped away. I tried to book her a one way ticket, but she wouldn’t go alone. I spent half my little bit of savings to go with her.
“Life Is A Small Price To Pay
When Love Is So Beautiful
And It Tastes So Good Coming Off The Lips”
    The plane ride was rough and full of turbulence and grey skies. I was terrified of falling, but when she smiled for the first time in far too long I knew I would die a happy man if the plane were to plummet from the sky. It was raining when we landed, and she shook in her seat. I offered my hand and her nails left scars there.
“Fear Not For Happiness Shall Not Die With You”
    She danced when we stepped out of the airport and into the downpour outside. Her eyes watered and the rain hid her tears, but I could feel her shaking sobs when she tucked herself under my arm and led me to where our car was waiting. She hadn’t wanted me to rent a car, but I couldn’t walk in the rain like she could.
“Respect The Beauty Of Difference
For Life Would Be Worthless
If It Were Just The Same With It
As Without It.”
    As we left the lot she rolled her window down and stuck her head out, letting the wind and rain run through her hair. She was so wild. I was entranced. Taking her home reminded me of all the things I’d lost in the last few months. Her smiles and her affection. She was grateful that I had brought her home, and it became clear that I had no choice but to leave her there. 
“Do Not Set Things Free Because You Love Them
Set Things Free Because That’s What They Deserve”
    We were set to return a week after I left. That’s the time both she and I had taken off of work. I cancelled her return ticket and paid the fee. Then I took a few more days off work and changed the date on my ticket, telling her only that we were staying a bit longer.
“A White Lie Is No More Innocent
Than One A Particular Shade Of Indigo
Or One Tinted Blue."
I didn’t want to leave her. She was so precious to me, so delicate and loving . . . But it was the joy in her eyes every moment that she sat outside, the smile on her face when I told her that we were staying longer, and the emptiness she’d exhibited that fueled my decision. I wouldn’t destroy her out of selfishness. I couldn’t keep her knowing that she would be confined to depression, caught, trapped, or otherwise unhappy in any way. She belonged in the storm. I just wasn’t sure how to tell her I was setting her free.
“Loving Something Is A Form Of Destruction
Damage Is Inevitable.”
Even in her obvious depression she still pretended to be happy for my sake. She swore that she loved me and that winter would come soon enough. Winter when it rained on occasion and the temperatures only got slightly cooler. Winter which wouldn’t be much better than the summertime. Winter which was much too mild and short. Winter which was just a glimmer of hope than a guarantee.  Winter. I couldn’t rely on winter.   
“We All Fall With The Leaves Whether We Know It Or Not” 
    I was scared she might not let me leave her. No matter how child-like she sometimes seemed, she was a woman and I never tried to tell her what to do.  I doubted starting then would be any sort of easy task. She argued just like I’d expected. She begged and pleaded and made promises about happiness that she just wouldn’t have been able to keep. She cried when she left me at the airport, and her tears tasted like rain water when I kissed them off her lips.
“Cry Not For What Is Lost,
But For What Could Have Been
If You’d Never Had It In The First Place”
    I call her sometimes, just to check in. She answers after one too many rings and hangs up too soon. She leaves off with an “I love you” and an “I miss you too.” Sometimes she asks when she can come to visit, and if I still love her. I say yes on both accounts, but she never shows. I miss her laughter and her coffee cup next to mine on the table. No one reads the Sunday comics anymore, and I haven’t turned on a fan or lit a candle that smells like rain since she left. Her absence is heavy, but her sadness was heavier. It echoed off the walls and bounced around in my ribs. I couldn’t stand to watch her suffer anymore i knew she was  just weathering the sunshine.
“Distance Is Sometimes A Curse
But Sometimes It Is Salvation”