Life is difficult for kids like Jorden, who have to deal with parents who abuse alcohol and that are never there for Jorden and her sister Paige. It was even worse that Jorden and Paige where five and four and didn`t know how to take care of themselves. There have been times when Jorden was the one who had to take care of her little sister even though they are only one year a part. It may have been a simple thing like just playing a game with her not to wake up there mother. Other times it would be more dangerous to do. Things like bathing or trying to find something for them to eat, just to tie them over till there grandmother came to get them for the weekend.

There was a time when Jorden and Paige where three and two and there mother told them to go into the bathroom and get ready for a bath. They were really excited to be able to get clean and spend time with their mother. They sat in the empty tub for a while before they finally got out to see what was taking their mother so long. Once again they were disappointed because their mother had passed out because of her drinking. They tried really hard to wake her up but it didn’t work.  She slept like a rock when she passed out drunk. It surprised everyone that she never had alcohol poisoning. She drank so much, half of her paycheck (when she had one) went to booze and cigarettes.

They were never really watched over by anyone. This caused them to get bored. So when there was a mean alley cat that had scratched Paige, they planned to make a “potion” to kill the cat. Well they didn’t think there mother was going to awake up because she passed out hours ago. So there went on to make this so called potion.  They put flour and water and ice and a bunch of other spices in a sauce pan and they topped it off with syrup and they were going to cook it to make it seem like “normal cat food”. The smell was horrible and there was a mess everywhere you look. You could hear crashing and banging. That never happen because there mother came in the kitchen area and stopped them. The point is if Jorden`s and Paige`s mother wasn’t passed out drunk, they would never have got into the kitchen.

Jorden and Paige`s mother was never there for them. Okay, maybe that not all true but most of the time she was passed out or her kids were at their grandparent`s house. They like it over there more than they did at home. She only want to have them after they were taken away. And she was drunk so she was whiney really annoying. I don’t understand how anybody could deal with getting that phone call almost every day for several years and listening to her say she was sorry and just wanted her girls back.  

Life was starting to get worse because Jorden`s father was trying to cause problems. At this point Jorden and Paige just wanted to go and life with Paige`s father. He was a lot better than their mother and Jorden`s father. He was not an alcohol abuser like their mother. Paige finally got away from all the alcohol because she got to leave with her dad. Jorden ended up staying with her mother. It was really hard for Jorden to deal with being away from Paige that much. Jorden felt lost because she had no one to play with or help out. Jorden was sad and really missed seeing her sister every day. She was only a little kid so she didn’t know how to work a phone so it was far and in between that Jorden and Paige got to talk each other and even longer to see each other again. Jorden ended up in foster care and her mother in prison for screwing up her probation. Going in to foster care was good and bad for Jorden. It was good because she got away for her Mother. Her foster parent Angie and Jeff were really good people. They always wanted to help Jorden out, whether it was school work or something else. They even got her here own room and clothes and enrolled her in school.

Jorden`s father girlfriend at the time paid for Jorden to get out of foster care. She used her money that she had saved to pay for her storage unit in California. She gave that up for a kid she didn’t even know. On top of that she lost everything on the storage unit. She lost everything. She became Jorden`s favorite person to be around. She even got the nickname Monkey, which later turned to Momma. Now Jorden lives happily with her Momma and baby brother.

Of course things didn’t stay happy for very long. About a year after Jorden`s Father and Step-Mom got married and they all had to move. They ended up moving to VA to be closer to Jorden`s Fathers family. Well he was still a substance abuser. He would get violent when he was angry. He turned to beating Jorden`s Step-Mom after Jorden and her brother Mark where asleep for the night. 

Well this continued for a long time before anyone know about it. It still continued after Jorden`s family moved to Kansas. Well one night Mark had to go to the bathroom and he caught Jorden`s Father dragging his Aunt across the house by her hair. He thought that if his Uncle could do that then so could he. So his fits got more violent and he would use the words Jorden`s Father used to hurt her even more.

Well Jorden`s Father got arrested for domestic violence after he threw raw chicken and BBQ sauce on his ex-wife. Well before that happen he tried to keep Jorden with him but several people help to get Jorden free. All the kids that were there at the time ran to Jorden`s Father ex-wife`s van to be safe from her Father and the police when they got there. What was the most upsetting about that event wasn`t when Jorden`s Father got arrested, it was the fact he had only three hours till he was supposed to be deployed to Iraq. Well that never happen because he was in jail.

Jorden’s Father decided four months later he was going to run off and not tell anyone where he was going. His money was the main support for the house they lived in. Well a couple of months later Jorden, Mark and Jorden`s Step-Mom had no choice but to move into low income housing. Their car crapped out on them before they moved so they need a new one.

Jorden`s Step-Mom was able to land a job at Handy`s. She worked the night shift every day and the super early shifts in the morning on the weekend. They had another minor setback when they realized that the foundation of the house they were living in was shifting too much to the right. So them and their neighbor the Johnson family where relocated to a new housing unit.

This was difficult because Jorden`s Step-Mom still had work so she couldn’t really help move things. Things where lost and broken because the kids were helping move things and they weren`t being careful. But it`s okay because things got better. Well the crazy shifts paid off in the end because we got a black Convertible PT Cruiser. Basically they got back on their feet and they were doing well.

Jorden`s Step-Mom even got a boyfriend in the this mess they call life. His name was Tim. Tim was a good guy most of the time. There were times when Tim would get in Jorden`s Step-Moms face and Jorden would have to grind her teeth and try not to get up and hit or yell for Tim to get out of her Momma`s face. Even though there where good times there were still bad times as well. Jorden`s birthparent still called and tried to cause problems. It happen more when they were drunk.

Well some pretty upsetting things happy one year when Jorden was at her youngest sister Paige`s house for Spring Break. To sum that up Jorden`s Step-Mom and her boyfriend Tim broke up. Jorden`s Step-Mom wasn`t that happy for a while but she turned out to be okay and bounced back quickly.   There doing better now but there is still problem`s. Mark is still throwing fits when he doesn’t get his way. Heck he is still getting physical, but not with his Aunt. Instead he has decided to take it out on Jorden.

Jorden is in a tough place right now. She has to deal with being abused by her cousin. The worst part of this is no one tries to make him stop what he is doing. They always say “You know how he is.” Like that is a good enough reason for her to be treated like that. Jorden is still getting bullied every day. She makes excuses to why she is late to the “baby sitter`s” house. Things like “I lost track of time.” or “I was working on home work.” She is also trying to get a job and a car so that she can get out of Kansas right after graduation.

People may not see it yet but Jorden is trying to go to college and make a life for herself. Her low self-esteem is just getting lower because everybody including her Step-Mom just laughs at her when she talks about school and say things like “Yeah but I see your grade and when`s the last time you had a grade above a C.” What if someone where just to help her out? Or ask her how her day was at school? Or even why she stays in her room and doesn’t talk to her friends at school anymore.

I bet the only person who knows all this is Jorden`s brother Charlie. He is always there for her and her for him when he needs it. She tells him everything. Old the problems she has had. He was the first person she told when she discovered she was bisexual. He sat and listen to her gush over her crushes. He even let her vent about her days and talk her through unpleasant thoughts. He is like her savior.

Other things are starting to bother her now and she rarely gets to see her brother. I wish that there was a chance for her to get some help. Her cousin Mark and here Step-Mon go to therapy on alternating Thursday and she has to stay at the “baby sitters” house.  Jorden may not want to go but I think she should. I mean the girl has trouble getting to sleep and when she does sleep it`s only for about two hours, then she`s up again from a nightmare.
Jorden has a rapper that she likes and his name is Eminem, there`s a line in one of his song that says “My insecurities can eat me alive.” she wants a tattoo of that line on her wrist. This line seems to fine her very well. She doesn`t show it but she is so insecure about everything, but no one knows this because she hind`s behind a fake smile. The only one who has a fraction of an idea is her brother Charlie.

I mean I can see why she feels the need to hide how she is feeling. For the last sixteen years Jorden didn’t really have anyone to talk to, and if she her family would move and that person would be out of her life and she would have to start back at square one again.

It`s sad to think about something like this happen to a girl that is only sixteen. Jorden has her whole life ahead of her. She is going thought all this and she`s not even been out in the real world yet. I wonder what it will be like for her when she does get out there. Will she be able to make it by herself?

Would you judge her if she were to tell you this story about herself? I think that you would and you would try to tell her that there are people who go there worse. She would tell you, you are right. That yes there are people out there that have it worse and I can`t change that, but I can try to help people with the same problem I have.