As I looked at her, warm water came running down my face as if a hurricane had hit me right in the face.  I never been this terrified, in all of the thirteen and a half years that I have lived.  There my best friend lay, dead.
I thought to myself, “No.  No.  This wasn’t right, and it couldn’t have been her.”  I was sure it couldn’t have been true. However, I kept seeing more and more people talking about it, and it was really true. 

“Do you have any ideas to why she would’ve done this?” I asked Jade, with extreme confusion.

“I can’t think of any reasons that would be that awful, Jay.” Jade answered with sadness. 

Right in that moment, it hit me that I had lost a little part of me.  I had known I shouldn’t have been selfish because she is now at peace, but there was a little part of me that wanted her here one more time. 

Still I had asked people if they knew why but they all acted as if I wasn’t even speaking english.  Surprisingly I didn't even know why, and I always seemed to understand her reasoning but not this time.

I saw her laying there and I absolutely lost all the sanity that I barely had.  I wanted to see her peacefully and remember her as the amazing friend she was but it's hard to do that when all you went to do is just be with them one last time. Seeing her lay there at her funeral was complete torture. 

This experience taught me that words do hurt.  Even if you’re joking around, it could be taken the wrong way.  I learned that being rude doesn’t benefit the bully, and tearing someone else down isn’t going to make you be a better person and make you feel better.  I have also have become better at standing up for people.  No matter how bad that person has ever been, no one ever deserves to get bullied.  I know that Zoe suffered, but I will remember her peaceful and bright.