I put my red Nike drawstring bag on the couch in my living room, then I looked down at the dark brown coffee table and saw a stack of mail in white envelopes and coupons under them. Some of them were for my father, but most of them were for me, colleges that wanted me to apply there. I don’t know where I want to go to college yet, I don’t even know what I want to do with my life yet. Sometimes I wish my mother was here to help me in these parts of my life, I mean I love my dad don’t get me wrong, but ever since my mom died, he kind of fell off track with his life. He went out drinking more, not going to work, infact he didn’t go so much that he got fired. He just recently got a new job working as a cable man. I looked threw most of the college ads that wanted me until I heard a soft meowing and a tug on my leg next to me. It was my orange and white cat, Ginger.

Ginger crawled up onto my lap and instantly started purring. I’ve had Ginger for almost my whole life, she was my mom’s cat, but when she passed, Ginger kind of became my cat, I fed her and she slept with me most of the time. I picked Ginger up into my arms and walked quietly into the kitchen, to get Gingers dinner ready. She was a very snobby cat, she ate both wet and dry food and she only likes 1 specific kind of each. If you didn’t feed her that specific kind, she would refuse to eat. Such a brat she is. While Ginger was eating her food, I looked in the fridge and got a piece of cheese and pepperoni pizza with some mountain dew pop, and put it in the microwave for a minute and thirty seconds. I looked at the time as I was waiting and saw that it was already 4:30, my dad would be home from work soon.

I walked upstairs with my phone and car keys in one hand and my backpack in the other hand, when I walked into my room I dropped my phone in the process of trying to turn the light switch on.
“Crap,” I mumbled under my breath.
Once I put my backpack on my bed, I picked up my phone and turned my light on, I heard the back door opening and shutting, meaning my dad was home.
  “Mikayla, can you come down here for a minute,” my dad yelled up to me, his voice was shaky and he sounded anxious.
Confused, I put my phone, headphones and charger down on my pink and black bed comforter and went down the wooden stairs to see what my father was talking about.
“Dad, what’s up?” i questioned.
“Today while i was in work, I got a call from the hospital. Hun, your grandpa had a heart attack, and he didn’t end up making it,” my father whispered as he looked down at the white tile in our kitchen.

My throat instantly then became dry and I felt like I was about to vomit. Me and my grandfather were super close, he was the only person that could make me feel better, he helped me through a lot when my mom passed away. He was also one of the nicest people I have ever met in my lifetime, always trying to help people no matter how big or small the situation was, everybody came before him in his eyes. Such a good man. I felt a tear fall down my cheek soon after that, my dad pulled me into his arms, rubbed my back and whispered that everything would be okay and how grandpa is in a better place now.
  “I know he is, I mean I understand that he was getting older and that he wouldn’t last forever, but i hoped he would live longer than this! I wasn’t even able to go see him recently, I saw him once last month!”
“I know, but we can’t spend all this time thinking about the times we didn’t have with him, we need to think about all the good time we’ve had with him. We can’t have grief forever. Plus, he's probably more happy now, he gets to see grandma for the first time in many years.” My father whispered soothingly to me while holding my hand and looking at me.
“Yeah I guess you’re right, but I mean I would have liked to at least say goodbye to him. When is the funeral?” I whispered to my father who was now sitting on the other side of the table with his hands laced together resting on the table.
“In four days...so Saturday” he said back, his voice low trying not to show emotion. My father never liked to show emotion to anyone, he wanted everyone to think he was too strong to have any feelings, but that obviously wasn't true.
I nodded my head and looked down at the ground for a few seconds then decided to go back upstairs. I knew that right when I went in my room that I would start crying, I don't like to cry in front of people I feel like it makes me look vulnerable, so i'd do it when no one's around.
“I'm going to go upstairs and finish my homework, call me down when dinner is ready please,” I whispered sadly to my father. He nodded his head in response and I then turned and quickly walked over to the stairs, and ran up them. Once I went into my room, I slammed my door shut, sat on my bed and instantly started to ball my eyes out, I didn't stop and that's a good thing because I don't think I could even if I tried too.
I stopped crying about a half hour later, my eyes were very red and puffy, I washed my face with warm water to try to cover up that I was crying before, but there was no use. Nothing was going to cover it up. I know I shouldn't feel weird about crying in front of people, especially when my grandpa dies, but I still do.
“Mikayla, dinner's ready!” My dad's loud voice rang through the house up to me. “Alright, hold on,” I yelled back up to him while I was drying off my face.
Once i got downstairs I saw that my dad had made spaghetti, both mine and his favorite food.
“Yes, you made spaghetti,” I said smiling at nothing in general.
“I figured we needed at least something good to happen today, right?” He asked
“That is true, good thinking,” I mumbled while filling up my plate with spaghetti with meat sauce, and some garlic bread. My dads a very good cook, he used to be a chef at an italian restaurant, but then he got fired for not showing up.
Once me and my dad got our food, we at down at the little two person table in our kitchen and ate our food. Me and my dad arent really that close, so to be sitting there only the two of us just eating and not talking was kind of awkward. After a while, my dad must have noticed how awkward it was because he turned on the mini tv that he installed in the kitchen a while ago, so I decided to play games on my phone.
“Alright, I'm Done, i'm going to go take a shower now,” I said as I was washing off my plate in the kitchen sink. My dad nodded and just continued to watch the tv. As I went up the stairs, I started thinking about my grandpa, I have no doubt in my mind that i'll miss him, but I can't even begin to imagine what my dad is feeling right now, that was his dad.
****

As everybody started to pile into the funeral home, I looked at all of them, knowing most but not all. Most of these people were old friends while there were also some family members. My grandfather was a very well liked person. As I was looking around at all the people, I spotted my aunt Jennie. Jennie is my favorite aunt, me and her hang out all the time like we were best friends. I walked from the back of the funeral home where the casket that held my grandpa and the flowers that surrounded it to the front where most of the people were chatting and greeting others. Once my aunt Jennie saw me and smiled and hugged me.
“Hey Kayla, what's up how have you been?” She said sadly while touching my shoulder.
“I've been alright Jen, just kinda sucks you know how close me and grandpa were. Plus my dad's probably going to go crazy. First mom dies young and now grandpa, I think he's going to lose it soon.” I replied talking quietly.
“Well, thing will turn up, everything will be okay, and your dad loves you with everything he has, he's just lose right now, give it time.”
“Yeah I know” I mumbled looking down, my jet black hair falling in front of my face.
“Text me soon though, we need to hang out! I miss you!” She hugged me once again and walked off to go with her husband. I sighed loudly and looked straight ahead, seeing people starting to sit down in the light brown wooden chairs provided for my grandpas funeral. Before I knew it, my feet were taking me towards my chair in the front row, right next to my uncle David. My uncle and I don't really talk much, he's aunt Jennie’s wife. There's no problem with him, we've just never really talked a lot. When I sat down in my chair, my uncle looked at me with a light smile.
“It's gonna be alright kiddo, we'll be fine.” He mumbled sighing, putting his hand on my shoulder. When everybody sat down, I knew it was time. I huffed loudly knowing that today is going to be a long stressful day.