He plops himself down on the large midnight blue bean bag lying on his floor in substitute for an actual bed. The room is filled with cigarette smoke dancing blissfully between the beams of sunlight peeking into his room from the gaps in his curtains. He turns to his side to read the time. 8:40 the clock blinks in a soft red light. He reaches over to his desk and grabs his glass chillum, lighter, and the little baggie with the crystals inside neatly pressed into a flat surface. He takes a piece of steel wool and packs it into the end of the pipe so no crystals fall through. He turns the baggie over to read the label. “DMT – lab 3, Portland” is poorly written on the bag with a fine tip sharpie. He slowly opens the bag and pours a small amount of crystals onto the steel wool. He inserts the pipe between his middle and ring finger in his right hand to create a tight seal. He presses his lips to the circle made with his index finger and thumb and whispers to himself “I slowly die inside to be reborn once again.” He sparks his lighter and slowly inhales the smoke made by the small crystals deep into his lungs. As he breaths in he counts.
1…
2…
3…
4…
5…

He exhales slowly to let all of the compound absorb into his blood stream and make its way up to his brain. As he breaths in again he feels an orb of energy on his lower spine. As it climbs higher and higher the light in the room fades as his vision starts to blur. The energy reaches the base of the brain stem and then his mind blasts off. All consciousness he once had is now gone and he is put into a new dimension.

He is put into an infinite plane stretching in all directions. Everything around him has a slight purple and violet tint. He looks up and sees infinite fractals dividing and multiplying into themselves. Jaded edges falling and collapsing into new intricate patterns never seen by man in the real world. Dim lights are orbiting each other in the distance dancing gracefully. Looping and swaying around one another they eventually collide and fizzle into nothing. He looks down and sees that he is in a field of lavender stretching across the curvature of his vision.  He sits down in a lotus position and meditates for what seems hours. He is at peace with himself, his surroundings, and his life. His ego begins to fade and he is only left with his Id. He can still feel but he doesn’t exist to himself and is only left with what he is but now who he has become. He feels blissful.

When he reaches his realization of reality he falls through the ground and splashes into a pool of a bright, warm water. He doesn’t panic for air but has the water fill him with the life giving nutrients that he needs. He feels the water flow around his body and it seduces him into a state of only feeling peace. The currents of the waters rush over his arms as he floats in an endless sea with a depth unknown to man that can only be comprehended by the universe. As he floats he is void of any thought. His memories are gone and he forgets who he is. He is interconnected into a world of existence and being rather than the individual. He and waters become one.

As he is floating the water slowly dries up but he doesn’t notice from being captivated from the flowing of the liquid. The only thing he can think of is the pure joy he is feeling floating freely in the extend consciousness of life. He feels tranquil.

When all the water dries up he finds himself lying in a field of grass. The subtle calm winds rustle the grass in an oscillating pattern that ripples on for miles. All he can see is these tall wispy grass blades dancing in the wind. A calming sensation overcomes his nervous system. He decides to turn around and he sees a sapling in the ground. Mesmerized by the sapling, he takes a step closer and suddenly it grows a foot. Another step. Another foot grown by the tree. Each step he takes the tree becomes larger and larger until it engulfs his entire view with long stretching branches with oval like leaves clapping in the slight wind. As he makes his way to the tree he sees that there is writing in the bark. As he is no more than 10 feet away from the tree a soothing energy fills his heart. Suddenly a large beam of energy leaves his body while simultaneously another beam of energy released from the tree. The beams meet in the middle between him and the trunk. A glowing aurora surrounds the branches as well as his body. He makes his way to the bark to read what is written. It says,

“All life is connected. There is no individual but rather a universal conscious that every living being shares. All plants, animals, people, ranging from great whales all the way to one celled organisms are part of this being called life. We are no different. I can comprehend as well as you can because we are all one in the same. Your perspective of time in reality is very different from mine. Your life is short to me and mine is long to you. For me life is what it is for you. I grow, move, interact, and observe just like you. The fault of man is to think that he is the only important creature on this planet. We all evolved together to create this universe on earth. Our consciousness has evolved with the universe as we learn and are able to see what it truly is. All of us are one. Don’t forget that.”

He sits down at the base of the tree and observes its lengthy trunk stretching for what seems miles. He is taken back from what was written on the tree. He didn’t need to comprehend what it means but instead embraces the fact that we are all connected as one. He feels hopeful.

While he sits negative thoughts start to come into his mind. He closes his eyes and when he reopens them he is sitting in a non-dimensional atmosphere. He is floating but not falling. He is sitting but not on anything. He looks around and all he can see is a dark shade of blue. It begins to rain. These negative emotions are all he can think now. He has no emotion besides sadness. In front of him appears her. She left his life no more than three months ago. He is lost and hopeless. He can only feel a sinking depression inside his soul. All joyous memories of their relationship are lost and all he can remember is the fighting, arguments, cheating, and the broken dream he once had of spending his life with her. All of his other feelings begin to manifest deep within his memories. His own self-worth. What he is to his peers and what he is to himself. All achievements that he has made in his lifetime are nothing compared to all the failures that he thinks about.  He feels depressed.

The feeling of sadness over the one he once loved turns to anger. The blue tint of the atmosphere turns fire red. The room before was cool from the rain but now he feels himself warming up. Getting hotter and hotter. His anger towards her builds and builds until he can only surround himself with the thought of what she was to him and how she left. He found her with someone else. Someone better, smarter, more talented; someone who could make her happy. All of his rage is let out in one ear bursting scream. His rage is overtaking his own wellbeing. He knows not to feel this way but he can’t feel any other way. He tries to remember what the tree was telling him but can only feel disconnected. The scream resonates in this infinite chamber of silence echoing off nonexistent walls that only exist because he lets them exist. He feels angry.

The red is turning darker and darker. Losing the brightness that the room once was. Shifting in darkness. Black. Empty. He loses all id and what he once was. He cannot feel. He cannot think. He is no more besides numb. His life does not exist outside of this void because he is no more to himself. He is floating in the absence of color and dimension. All of his problems leave his head. He has no more problems because to him, he does not exist. He doesn’t comprehend this or deny the fact that he isn’t himself anymore. This final stage of his consciousness is what he will remember. He feels nothing.

He closes his eyes while in this dimension to hide from the darkness. He holds them closed and counts.

1…
2…
3…
4…
5..

He reopens his eyes and he is lying where he started this experience. The clock in the corner of his room to the side of his bean bag flashes with the red it always has. 8:57. He looks down at himself and realizes life is nothing more than what we make it. You can decide your own future but ultimately you’re no different from anyone else. He feels content.