Oblivion

We fear oblivion but yet our universe is oblivion. Imagine me, Spencer, a pageant queen, sitting in a red velvet chair, in a room with just a light brown, almost tan colored, walls surrounding me, with a slight crack going across the ceiling in a diagonal line and with just a crabby judge with a blonde beehive of hair on her head, in front of me.  My lashes curled, my blonde hair twirled, and my blue eyes sparkling in the dimmed light.  Wearing a perfectly fitted black satin suit that would accent anyone perfectly.  I was asked the original question of, what do you fear most.  My answer to the question would be doll’s, which just the thought of doll’s makes my spine cringe, but after I thought over my answer I realized, that what I feared most was oblivion.
I never had realized that I had feared oblivion.  Many people, maybe even you,  may think how could I or other people fear oblivion.  But in many ways you and I could fear just that.  Oblivion puts the feeling of I-don't-know-what-just-happened-for-the-past-twenty-years on my mind.  Thinking of being in the state of being forgotten or the unknown makes me fear for the worst.
Many people are scared of the dark or even a person. But how I see someone being afraid of the dark, is that you fear of having no light in your day, or no happiness in any of your days.  How you or others may see it is you are scared of dark, just that, nothing more.  Why most people are afraid of another person is just because of the way they look.  Which how I think and see it is that you are just giving yourself something to be afraid of, when you have nothing else to fear or worry about .  Why would you do that to yourself, you ask?  It will give you something to think about, to stress about, and something that you will have repeating in the back of your mind when you have nothing else to think about.  I’ve read a book that had many insights on fears and many other things other than fears that stuck out to me. But one of the quotes from made me think of why I and others fear oblivion.  
Here is what the author said,  “There will come a time when all of us are dead.  All of us.  There will come a time when there are no human beings remaining to remember that anyone ever existed or that our species ever did anything.  There will be no one left to remember Aristotle or Cleopatra, let alone you.  Everything we did and built and wrote and thought and discovered will be forgotten and all of this will have been for naught.  Maybe that time is coming soon and maybe it is millions of years away, but even if we survive forever.  There was a time before organisms experienced consciousness, and there will be a time after.  And if the inevitability of the human oblivion worries you, I encourage you to ignore it.  God knows that's what everyone else does.”
- John Green the Fault in Our Stars ‘
I’ve read, reread and looked over that quote hundreds of times it seems like.  And yet every time I look at it again it means something different each and every time. 
I can I take it as to not to fear about oblivion or I could take it and think about oblivion and why we fear it.  How I took the quote one day was to not fear oblivion I must leave my mark on this world, so when I’m gone I will be remembered and I will be remembered by many.  So I’m working, I’m pushing my body to its max and I’m ignoring the pain, the bumps, and the bruises.  I will be remembered in this World, that’s a promise.  I can be remembered as many things but I will not be remembered as a lazy person nor a person that gave up on things even when times or times in the past were tough.   When I’m dead I want to be remembered as the girl who never let anyone get in her way of success.  The girl that didn’t let words bring her down but built her into a stronger person.  I want to be that it girl that won’t let little things bother her, but will only see the good in people she surrounds herself with.   I want to be that girl the one that stood before people with not a look of fear in her eyes. 
So I will be remembered by many.  In conclusion to that I would like to say, we fear oblivion but yet our universe is oblivion.