Chris began to question the wisdom of this trip. No, ‘began to question’ wasn’t the right phrase. It was more like ‘set firmly against due to the insane nature of the whole thing, but he couldn’t refuse his girlfriend who was dead set on him coming, so he was questioning her while questioning the trip at the same time.’

     Like, traveling across half the country to see his girlfriend’s old aunt? Not a chance. And to simply sit and chat? No! Why should he do any of this? He had to work most days just to scrape by!

     Chris turned around and began pacing back and forth in his apartment, the phone still tightly pressed to his ear. He doubted he could afford to travel, what with a teacher’s salary and all, especially since he worked in a poorer district. He voiced this much to Caitlyn.

     She, of course, was as stubborn as ever. “She really needs someone to come down and see her, and she gets tired of the same faces every day. I can pay for it if you want, you just have to get your lazy but up and do it.”

     Chris gave a sad smirk, picturing the exasperated expression on Caitlyn’s face. He chuckled dryly at the thought.

     “Chris, this isn’t funny! Do you have any idea how hard it is to-?”

     “Yes, I do know,” he interjected, now sober. He sighed. “I’ll try to make the arrangements to come down alright? Do you know any good vacation hotels?”

      “Hotels?” Caitlyn questioned.

     “Yes, hotels,” Chris replied as he ventured over to his living room and plopped himself down onto the leather couch. “If I’m going all the way over to Massachusetts to see you and your aunt, then I’m staying there longer than a day. And if I’m staying there longer than a day, I’ll need a hotel.”

     “Why can’t you just stay with us?”

     “Because sometimes I’d prefer to be alone, you know that,” Chris pleaded with her

     “But it’s just a few days-”

     “Kait, you know how your family can get,” Chris prodded, hoping he was coming through to her.

     There was a moment of silence on the other end of the line. Then, “No, I don’t know how my family can get.”

     “Well, you know, they can be…strange, eccentric. Difficult to handle.”

     “Chris, you haven’t even met half of them. And what’s so wrong with coming over and giving some charity to a kind old lady?”

     “Nothing!” Chris said, defending himself. “It’s just that, you know, sometimes I…” he trailed off, unsure of how to finish.

     “Sometimes you don’t want to get you lazy but off the couch and help people. Right, I get it. Forget I asked,” Kaitlyn said, voice stone cold.

     Oh no. Chris knew that tone. The tone where all the ice in the world was contained within a few sentences. He also knew her eyes would be like shards of flint as she talked to him, and that she’d be shaking a bit. Not trembling, but shaking and full of fury.

      “Look,” he said, defeated. “I’m sorry. Okay? I’ll come over and see your aunt and do whatever it is you want me to do.” It was always better to try and placate her at this point. Anything else would be disaster.

     There were a few beats of dead silence on the phone. “What I want you to do is something kind. What I want you to do is something for somebody else. What I want you to do is something not done just to appease me,” Caitlyn spat, venom dripping in every word. The line went dead.

     Crap. Why did he do that? Why? Now she was furious with him, and would stay furious for quite some time until Chris got in her good graces again, and everything just got so much worse when that happened. That was a stupid thing of him to do. Dear God, why?

     As guilt and sadness wracked him, Chris began to be overtaken by an emotion that was so much better. Anger. It was coursing through his veins, setting him on fire from within. He welcomed the feeling, letting it take hold of him, but not quite control him.

     Anger was the only emotion Chris was okay with right now. It fueled him, made him more productive. Made him less prone to the touchy-feely stuff. The guilt and the sadness – those he didn’t want to put up with. And anger, well, anger certainly took care of those.

     That rage radiated off him in waves, cloaking him, protecting him, keeping him the way he was, and Chris liked that.

     He stalked around the apartment, fuming. He had to work for Christ’s sake! How was he supposed to just drop everything and go and help her?! Really, she couldn’t try to coordinate anything with him in advance? What?!

     Eventually, he ended up in his bedroom, right in front of the picture. And just like that, all the anger dissipated, not leaving a trace. The picture was a selfie of him and Caitlyn by the beach, but it came out horrible. Only half of his head was in it, and Caitlyn hooked her arms around his neck and was about to jump on him to imitate a piggy-back ride, but he took the photo too early. Caitlyn insisted that he keep it anyway and that he print it out.

     So, he did, because it was Caitlyn. He’d never been able to refuse her, ever. He was certain she was insane sometimes, but she was also carefree, loving, bright, cheerful, and just alive. Chris wanted to be more like her if he could. And he wanted her happy, always.

     She was probably the furthest thing from unhappy right now. She was probably pacing, worrying, doing her best to care for those she loves, and she had wanted help. So, she’d gone to him. And he’d blundered, made excuses, danced around his feelings…he’d said a lot of bullcrap.

      Chris sighed and looked back at the photo. It was their first date. He had asked her out, but he didn’t think she’d say yes, so he wasn’t sure where to go or what to do. Kaitlyn, being Kaitlyn, had just rolled along with it and suggested some places to go. They went to the beach first, then to the ice cream parlor, before wrapping it up at the movies.

      Caitlyn made him feel things that day, and every day. Some things he wanted, some he didn’t. And right now, he was filled with all the things he didn’t want. Sadness. Longing. Regret.

     And so he reached for his phone again, sighing yet ready to get on his knees if necessary, to make it right. He’d go on the trip, for her.