It was a rare occasion for me. Camping. Not something i’d usually do but i needed some time away. And besides, we were all too broke do do anything else. So there we were: in a tent, in a field. It was a nice tent albeit old. But alas, it was the best we could do. James brought it so naturally, he took the large single room. I ended up in the smallest room which wasn’t so bad. Better than Ben at least, who’d been dumped in what you could call the largest room. We did to justify putting him there. In truth though, it wasn’t really much of a bedroom, every other room connected to it so Ben was disturbed. A lot. Every time someone got up to go to the toilet and every other time too. And then there’s Kevin. Kevin. Don’t get me wrong i have nothing against Kevin usually. I mean he does do the occasional annoying thing but not recently. He’d been a pretty good friend recently but not this weekend. See, he brought his girlfriend, Jasmine. Now you may think that’s all fine. It’s not like i hate her, we’re good friends actually. All five of us. The problem was that tent walls are so damn thin. Not soundproof at all. That wouldn’t usually be a problem. I mean i could put up with Ben’s snoring and James’ constant shifting positions just fine, block them out as i often do with annoying things and all’s well. But, see, when you bring two teenagers together, away from their parents for the weekend, in the same bed, what do you get? Yes. Sex. Nice. You may think yes Kevin! Way to go! But no, that’s not what i was thinking. I was thinking: “Shut. The Fuck. Up.” And if you had to listen to your two friends going at it i’m sure you’d agree. Now by this point it was early morning. They did it last night too but i made it through that. Fell asleep once they were finished and i finally had enough quiet to do so. ‘Thought that it was fair enough and it was inevitably going to happen some point throughout the weekend. But they were at it again the morning after. So i had a great idea: I went to the toilet. Yes. Genius, i know. But, well, everyone needs to piss and hopefully i’d get some quiet out there. Just the sounds of bird song and an early morning campsite, no sex. But as i mentioned earlier, leaving the tent requires potentially disturbing the beast and this time, i wasn’t so lucky. In my anger i was careless. I stepped on Ben’s leg. He groaned, I muttered a hushed “sorry” and i was away, out into the morning air. A few people were already up cooking breakfast, lounging outside, shitting by the tree line, as you do. All in all, a normal somewhat smelly campsite morning. And then this girl spoke to me. Yes, she had the audacity to speak to me as i’m clearly on my way to take an anger piss. But, i didn’t want to be rude so i put on my fakest smile, turned to face her and asked: “Huh?” Graceful, i know but what else do you expect this early in the morning?

“I said: “Does this dress make me look fat.””

Yes. “No.” i said. By this time her friend had emerged from the tent, standing beside her. She was pretty and hey, i could do with a good weekend. I decided i’d ask her out if an opportunity presented itself. No harm in it, i didn’t know these girls so if i messed it up i could just return to my piss, glad that i’d at least had the balls to try. I had nothing to lose.

“Oh it does make me look fat!” She almost screamed.

I agree.

“Stop being so harsh on yourself.” Her friend said. “You look great.” Not from my perspective. “Doesn’t she?” She asked me.

Again, no. “Well, yes.” I said. “But if i were you i’d lose the hair bun. If you’re worried about people thinking you’re fat, letting your hair down could distract them.” I was letting my anger seep through into my words. I reminded myself to cool it before i actually did call someone fat. 

“Thank you!” She said, running back into the tent. “See Jane? That’s useful advice, stop just saying i look nice that’s not helpful.”

“You do look nice.” Her friend, Jane, shouted back into the tent accompanied by a sort of drop of one shoulder and a half turn of her head. I may not be describing it that well but i’m telling you, that shoulder drop did things to me.

“So you give good advice then. Is that, like, your thing?” She asked me.

My thing? “I guess.” I was good at giving advice. “Why, you need some?”

“Yeah, i could do with some.” She said. “I think i’m pretty.” She continued slowly trying to dampen the arrogance that would show if anyone but her had said such a thing. 

And damnit she was pretty. “I can see why.” I said. That was smooth.

She smirked and swayed a little with her feet still firmly on the ground. Again, hard to describe but damn nice to watch. I smiled. “But no one’s ever asked me out.” She finished.

This was promising. There might be an opening for me here. Just don’t rush it. “You’re too pretty.” I blurted out, almost crudely. That could’ve had a better delivery but it was done now. I’d work with it.

“What?” She asked, confused. 

“You’re too pretty.” I repeated. “People find that intimidating. They think you’re out of their league so they don’t bother asking you out.”

“Huh.” She replied, thinking. “But that’s dumb.”

“Most people are.” Come on, don’t mess this up now.

She smiled. “I like you.” Yes! “How do i get people to feel less intimidated?” She asked me.

“Well there’s not much you can do.” I started. “I’m assuming plastic surgery’s ruled out.” I regretted saying that one. I could do better. “Try not wearing make up.” I said.

“I’m not wearing any at the moment.” She responded.

She looked this good. Without make up. This girl was too damn good for me but if she’d never been asked out before i may still have a chance. “You look this good without make up? Ok, maybe that won’t work.”

“You still feel intimidated?” She asked playfully.

“Yes, very much so. I suppose the last thing you can do is just wait for the right guy.”

“What do you mean?” She asked.

“Well you need someone with enough confidence to actually ask you out.” I responded. She looked sad at that. “Come on, let’s go.” I said.

“Go where?”

“On a date, silly.” Well that lit her face up. Her chin rose and her smile returned, wider than ever. I’d done it. I asked out a girl. And she was so damn attractive too. In that moment i felt like the luckiest guy in the world.

“Where are you taking me then?” She asked.

“Well first i need the toilet.” That got me a funny smirk from her. But smirks were good. “And then i know a place we can have breakfast.”

“Sounds good to me.” She said.

So that’s how i spent my weekend camping. Turn’s out we actually live pretty close too which is good for me because it means i get to see her almost every day. Which is great. I think i love her.