The light gray means she is in

her head or lost in thought.

However, last evening I saw more than blackness. I saw something that terrified me. I saw the war inside me.

The previous day

Jace and I were walking back to his house from the woods. We have spent all day in the woods giggling and exploring and now we just want to go to his place to watch movies and eat snacks. I texted my uncle telling him that I was going to crash at Jace’s. He didn’t respond but I didn't care I'm not hiking home tonight. Just then a van drove by with its side doors open and people shot at Jace and told him that they were going to jump him and all this other stuff. I was frightened it struck fear into my heart. They missed thank god but that poor tree, I thought to myself. Just then Jace jerked me into an ally. He pushed me down then bent to my level and clasped my hand. “Stay put.” He stared at me dead in the eyes and instructed me. He pulled his hand away and with it his warmth. Then he was gone. I  sat there staring into space replaying what just occurred in my head. I started to drift off. I was inside my head, a very ominous and eerie place. Inside my head, something has roused. It was fighting for control. I couldn’t tell who was powerful, me or the demon. I don’t know how much time passed hours or minutes. I was lost inside my head. Rebelling against something that I can hardly control. At this point, I don’t know who’s winning. It was perilous, I just couldn’t seem to fight this. I just wanted to back down. I lost focus on centering myself. Just then frigid hands warped around my arms. And I heard his deep soothing voice. “Iris” I heard as he started to shake me. “Snap out of it.” 

I started to fade back into reality. I noticed my nails were dug into the soil below. I looked up and I saw him his grayish eyes. His curly copper short hair. His sharp facial details. I saw my center. But his fragrance is made me snap out of it.

  “Babe?” I mumbled.

 “I’m here what did you see.” He asked concerned.

 I didn’t want to say, so I just snuggled up by his chest but he pulled me away. His face was stern but anxious. He spoke softly 

“Tell me I can help please.”

 I put my head on his chest. I whispered and the edge of crying “Blackness just complete blackness.” I fibbed but he believed it. 

He pulled me into his lap and warped his cloak around me then started to rock back and forth. We stayed like that for a bit. We stayed like that in the silence, the only sound was our breathing which has mashed into one. I closed my eyes and took the moment in. My head on his chest possessed by his heartbeat. His warmth his essence the faded chirping in the distance I took it all in. I allowed myself to feel vulnerable but protected. For once I found someone I could trust. Minutes passed but it felt like seconds. Just then my phone beeped. He took it out and saw that I had gotten a text from my uncle. My uncle said I could stay. He notified me of this as I got up from his lap. The bitter raw cold air attacks my legs turning them numb. It took him a bit longer to get up. But he eventually did. I warped my arms around his back and look up he is a giraffe I thought to myself. Then he bent down and kissed me. I tore away and grabbed his hand and began walking. We got a block away then he pulled his hand away and he started to listen to music. I walked behind him in silence. When we got to his place he asked me to wait outside I grabbed a chair and waited. I thought back to what I saw when I was inside my head. But I refuse to get lost inside my head once more. I got up and went to the rocky ally to fiddle with a pebble while I wait. 

"Iris" It sounded like Jasper

 I replied "yeah I'm over" 

"Well get your...” He says as he comes and scoops me up. 

“Put me down” I try as hard as I can to say without giggling. But instead of putting me down he carries me inside and throws me on the couch. He sits on the floor next to me. I roll to the cushions and bury my head there. He noticed and cuddles up next to me. I turn over my head is on his arm. He looks down and smiles. We stayed up all night watching horror films, cuddling and munching on snacks. During the 3rd movie, I began to fall asleep. Next to me, Jasper was passed out and his cute minor snores were putting me to sleep. I reached over him and grabbed the remote but in the process of getting it, I bumped Jasper. He jerked away and woke up. I redden and accused the dog who just walked by. He smiled “it’s fine,” he said lightly as he got up and carried the empty bowl to the kitchen. I shut off the tv. We raced up the stairs. Jace beat me because he lunged over the banister. I got to his room and he was relaxing on his mattress with a small smirk. I. blushed and jumped into the vacant space next to him. We curled up together for awhile and just ended up falling asleep. When I woke up, he was gone. I sat up and rubbed my eyes then throw off the covers. I glance up and in the armchair , by his door, one of his shirts and a pair of shorts that I left here once and one of his hoodies were sitting there. I closed the door and got changed. I opened the door to see him carrying a tray. He turned red and 

“I was going to bring you an omelet and some tea your favorite.” He said flustered.

 I accepted the tray of food from him and I put it down on the chair and I kissed him on the check. 

I whispered, “thank you.”

 He chuckled and said you welcome and pushed me onto the bed I giggled as I get under the covers. He brings me the tray and plops it down on my lap. “ Bon Appetit.” He says as he leans or and kisses my head. He leaves the room. Life is promising.

Time passes to 3 months

I waited by the male’s restroom as I have performed for the past 3 months but today I felt odd. Time seemed to pass slowly this familiar wall felt raw. I look both ways, beginning to get impatient.  Eventually, I saw him coming down the hallway with this devilish grin. Then it struck me that he doesn’t grin like that unless he is about to get into a brawl. Just then people from 3 months ago appeared around the corner. I went to yell to inform him but no voice came out I standard there with my mouth wide open looking like the scream man. Jace saw my expression. He turned around but too late an enormous man stepped out and strike him upside his head with a baseball bat. Then I don't know what came over me. I went like a bat out of hell over there faster than the flash.  I was so powerful. My monster took over. My vision got blurry and I blacked out…

When I woke up I was sitting in the school office my hands blackened and my left hand felt broken I attempted to move it “I wouldn't try that hunny.” a cold unusual voice told me I spun around and recalled it was the school nurse. 

“What happened?” I asked very confused still somewhat in the haze.

“Well let's see this fresh chap got a concussion due to this humongous wanker with a baseball bat. Then you took off and lost the plot. It was froooking wicked man. You were very dodgy. If it wasn't for you this lad could've pop one’s clogs. He is very lucky to have you in his world. And the wankers, they all got sent to the headmasters and were expelled on the spot. A few had to go to the infirmary to get inspected you did some harm on those poor wankers” the nurse said trying to be upset with me but was smiling showing his pearly white teeth his blues eyes twinkled like stars in the night sky he looked old due to his silver hair. A few hours passed and Jace woke up. The nurse called in the headmaster and we ended up getting kicked out but after that moment life was better I could handle my temper better because I was forced to take anger management. But after that day life got easier.