The tower seemed to have always been there.  It was a mighty tall tower, with vines climbing up the sides and curling into the old stones. The strange thing about the mysterious tower was that it had no door. Travellers would come upon it and disregard the ivy infested structure because it had no visible entrance. 

Then one bright spring day a woodcutter and his daughter came upon the tower. Being a curious girl, his daughter wished to examine the odd stone structure in the middle of the woods.   

“Looks old,” he remarked, tapping the mossy stones. “I wonder how long it’s been here.” 

Suddenly a voice called from up above, “Hello!”  The woodcutter and his daughter stepped back from the tower to peer at the girl who sat in the tallest window of the tower. She was strikingly beautiful with dark ebony skin and coiled midnight hair. Both the woodcutter and his daughter had to take a few moments to even fathom this girl’s pure beauty. 

“What are you doing in this tower?” asked the woodcutter.

“Does it look like I’m doing anything?” she snapped. “I’m trapped, genius! Get me out of here!”

The old man didn’t react to her sass and addressed her calmly. “I am too old to climb this tower, but I’m sure one of the king’s sons could save you.” 

“Fine,” sighed the girl, “just come back quickly.” 

And so the woodcutter and his beloved daughter traveled to the king’s castle. The king, being an incredibly lazy man, with tendencies to procrastinate vital work, was glad to listen to whatever this poor man and his daughter had to say.  Listening to their story gave him an excuse to brush off work, of course. 

“What is it that you have come to tell me, fine sir?” asked the king.  His big belly jiggled as he slumped lazily in his mighty golden throne.  The king struggled to find a suitable seating position to provide comfort in the stiff throne. 

The woodcutter and his daughter kneeled before the king as he sat uncomfortably in his throne. “Your majesty,” said the woodcutter, “My daughter and I came upon a tower in the woods where a beautiful maiden was trapped.  As I am old and frail, I could not climb the tower and rescue her. I promised the maiden that one of your two sons would rescue her from the tower.” 

The king sighed, “Very well.  Your daughter shall lead a procession to this fair maiden with my eldest son, Prince Justin.”  The throne room doors suddenly burst open and a handsome young man with massive biceps strode into the room.  Behind him came two dozen knights in golden armor and three dozen white stallions. 

“My son,” boomed the king, “if you are successful in rescuing the maiden I will reward you with my throne.” 

The hunky prince’s eyes lit up at his father’s words. Though it was the king, of all people, who was the most hopeful for his son’s success. He had always hated the life of royalty and wanted very much to retire in a far away castle with a jacuzzi and a plethora of Turkish delight.

The prince and the knights followed the woodcutter’s daughter to the tower.  They reached the tower at high noon and did not receive a quite so cheerful greeting from the maiden. 

“What took you so long?” asked the maiden. 

Prince Justin seemed not at all fazed by her attitude and puffed out his chest like a demanding male peacock during mating season.  “There is no need to fear, sweet mistress, for I am Prince Justin, the eldest of the king’s sons and I have come to rescue you!” He bowed before the tower and the maiden let out a snort.  That didn’t deflate Prince Justin’s flambouncy, “May I ask of you name?” 

“It’s Rapunzel,” she called. “And would you quit the dramatics and hurry up!” 

Prince Justin bowed his golden mane of hair.  “As you wish, my lady.” 

He broke into a full sprint towards the tower and leaped. The prince jumped higher than the strongest of kangaroos in the desert and with the grace of a frightened doe.  It was like he was flying. But when Prince Justin grabbed hold of the tower his hands began to slip from the mossy stones. The knights panicked as their precious prince fell from the tower.  Rapunzel and the woodcutter’s daughter burst into laughter.   

“It isn’t funny!” whined Prince Justin.  “That was just a warmup! Let me try again!” 

He leaped for the wall and again fell.  The prince tried again and again. After an hour his jumps became sluggish, but he kept on trying. By the end of the third hour the knights began to stack themselves and their horses to form a staircase for Prince Justin. When that failed, the sun had begun to set. 

Rapunzel and the woodcutter’s daughter had both acquired sore stomachs from laughing so much at the prince’s efforts. 

“That’s it!” roared Prince Justin.  “My younger brother, Prince Philip, can have the crown.” 

As it turned out, Prince Philip had no interest in Rapunzel, or any woman for that matter.  He had run off to marry Prince Eric from the neighboring kingdom without his ignorant brother’s knowledge. 

With no other princes to compete for Rapunzel, the king welcomed all to compete for her hand and his throne. He had started to become quite desperate for retirement after his younger son’s elopement and his eldest son’s sudden well of anger. 

People from all over came to try and rescue Rapunzel for the throne. But each man and boy failed no matter how hard they tried to slip their fingers through the cracks.  As much as it joyed Rapunzel to see the men fall and injure themselves, she longed to dip her toes from the tower. 

On the fifth day of the competition no man had succeeded.  Rapunzel gazed out her window to see barely any competitors that day. She considered jumping from her window and ending it all there, but the first competitor was already walking up to the tower.

He was smaller than most and wore a hood over his head, so Rapunzel couldn’t tell if he was handsome or ot. 

“You’re going to fail you know,” she called to the competitor. “No man has been able to climb my tower.”

“Oh, I’m no man.” The figure lowered the hood that masked her face and Rapunzel gasped.  It was the woodcutter’s daughter. “Plus,” she said, “I brought a grappling hook.” 

Rapunzel raised an eyebrow. “Well, then.” 

The woodcutter’s daughter swung the grappling hook and it caught in the window. The other competitors watched in a daze as she scrambled up the rope to Rapunzel’s room. The woodcutter’s daughter carried Rapunzel down the rope just as quickly as she had climbed up it. 

The king held true to his word and Rapunzel and the woodcutter’s daughter wed that very next day. As soon as the crowning ceremony had ended the ex-king zipped off to his new vacation home with a tin of turkish delight. The two queens became the most beloved rulers in all the land, and perhaps of all time.