There comes a point in life where decisions will have to be made. These decisions can affect your future. It can have a successful outcome or it can have an unfortunate outcome. When you are young, it feels like your parents decide your choices for you. They hold your hand and guide the way until you are a teenager. Your parents want what is best for you. They want you to succeed and be able to be off on your own. They want to prepare you for the real world. 

Growing up, my family was best friends with the family next door. My parents, Jackie and Daniel, moved into the neighborhood before Cindy and James. I was an only child. I was named Caroline because my mom thought it was a friendly name that brought sunshine to everyone I met. Cindy and James had two sons named Liam and Landon. Liam was a few years older than Landon and I. The three of us instantly became best friends when we were little. Our parents said “it was like watching The Three Stooges.” 

Landon and I were always in the same classes when we were in elementary school. We sat next to each other in class, at lunch, and during nap time. As our teenage years approached, Landon and I became a lot closer. We started dating when we were fifteen. Our seats in class never changed. We were like “two peas in a pod”, as our mothers would say. Our parents always had a feeling we would end up together. 

Landon was everything I ever dreamed of having. He was sweet, smart, and athletic. He was the star player of the hockey team at Winston High. I was very into my education and was always studying. How could two people be so different yet so alike at the same time? We get that question all the time. He was every girl’s “perfect boyfriend”. But he was mine.

“What does your schedule look like this week Landon?” We were working on some homework at the kitchen table. It was late at night and I promised him I would tutor him in chemistry. 

“Hockey practice every day until 8:30, workouts”, he said while fiddling the pencil between his finger, “and some shifts at the rink.”

It got difficult trying to make plans this year. Landon was a super star and everyone knew that. He was being scouted by colleges to play hockey for them. Schools like Michigan, Wisconsin, and Boston were pulling for him to play for them. He had this plan of us going to the same school and being a power couple. Landon always told people that “where I go, she goes.” I had other ideas. I wanted to study to become a lawyer and go to Harvard. Landon and I never really discussed where we wanted to go to college. He just assumed I would follow him. 

“Caroline, the mail is here.” yelled my mom from walking in the front door.

I snatched the mail out of her hand. I was expecting a decision from Harvard today and I needed to know what the verdict was. I walked into the kitchen where Landon, my dad, and my mom were sitting. My parents looked nervous and excited while Landon just looked confused. Let’s just say I didn’t tell him about applying to Harvard. 

My hands were shaking and my heart was pounding so loud I could hear it in my ears. This was it. This letter decided my future. I looked up to my parents and my mom nodded her head for encouragement. 

“Dear Caroline, we are delighted to offer you acceptance to Harvard University into the Law Program for the graduating Class of 2024.” 

Tears of happiness started to roll down my cheeks. I looked up to see my parents crying. I leaped into their arms and we started to jump up and down. Landon sat frozen in his seat. There were no tears, not even his smile that I loved so much. 

“How could you not tell me you applied to Harvard, Caroline?”

His voice chilled me to the core. He sounded heartbroken. It was as if he was a puppy and I just kicked him across the kitchen. I walked over to the seat next to him and sat down. 

My parents decided to leave the kitchen and go upstairs to let us talk. This could go two ways: bad or REALLY bad. I grabbed Landon’s hand, but he pulled it back. I stared up at him with teary eyes. Now, it felt like I was the puppy who just got kicked across the kitchen. 

“Landon, why aren’t you happy for me? This is a big deal. I got into my dream school! Did you really think that I was going to follow you to college?”

“Caroline, you can’t just expect me to be ecstatic about something I didn’t know about.” He got up from the chair and walked into the living room. “We had everything planned out for the next four years!”

I followed him into the living room. Was he really trying to tell me that I couldn’t go to Harvard? 

“No, you had everything planned out.” I pointed my finger at his chest. “Did you really think that the plan would stay the same?”

He rolled his eyes at me. It wasn’t a playfull roll either. I had a right to be upset with him. 

“No, don’t roll your eyes at me. We are almost adults. Let’s have an adult conversation instead of flying off the handle.” I was so angry I began to flail my arms as I spoke. This was an amazing accomplishment and he was making me feel so belittled. 

He stared straight at the wall. I looked down at my hands in my lap. Tears threatened to fall. They were going to flow down my cheeks at any given moment. 

“You can’t go to Harvard, Caroline.”

Smoke could have come out of my ears. I bounced off the couch. 

“Excuse me? I am going to Harvard. Who are you to tell me that I can’t go?” 

“I’m your boyfriend.”

“You sure aren’t acting like it. I am not going to do what you want for the rest of our lives, Landon. If you spent more time with me, you would understand how big this is for me. I want to be successful on my own and not live off of your money for the rest of our lives.” 

He got up off the couch and started walking to the front door. I ran after him, hot on his trail. 

“Landon, where are you going? Come back here.” 

“This relationship is done. You don’t care about our future. Let’s just stop here so we don’t make it messier. We obviously never saw eye to eye.”

“Are you kidding me right now? I don’t care? You are such a jerk.” 

Tears were streaming down my face as I felt like I couldn’t breathe. My knees started to feel weak as I saw him slam his front door. Was this really happening because of a college acceptance letter?

Months went by. Graduation came sooner than I thought it would. Landon and I were broken up for a few months. We didn’t try to communicate at all. Liam tried to contact me a few times to check up on me and apologize about his brother. Cindy would still call and text me to help her out with things. It just wasn’t the same anymore. I feared this feeling of loneliness.

The day that every mother dreads came: college move-in day. I woke up early that morning to get myself ready and check that I had the things I needed. My mom knocked on the door softly.

“Honey, there is someone at the door for you.” She gave me a sympathetic smile and nodded towards the front door. 

I walked down the first few stairs and saw Landon standing in the corridor. My heart started to race and my hands started to sweat. 

“Hi Care,” he said while smiling at me.

I walked down the rest of the steps to where he was standing.

“I’m so sorry that it took me this long to apologize. I was so stupid. So, so stupid. You were right. I did think that you were going to follow me. I was caught up in being scouted and getting into my own college. I was dumb to think that you wouldn’t have your own goals and dreams. You are so independent and smart. I guess I was intimidated by you. I thought you were going to break up with me for some Harvard boy. I haven’t stopped thinking about you.”

My heart felt like it was going to burst. I couldn’t tell if I was in awe of his realization or if I was still in love with him. I knew I was still in love with him. I never stopped loving him. 

I jumped into Landon’s arms. A feeling of comfort washed over me. 

“I am so happy you came over. I haven’t stopped thinking about you either.” I gave him an award-winning smile. “But I have to go now. You should have come to me sooner.” I slapped his chest and he let out an “oof”. “When I come home from break, we can talk and figure us out. Now, I have to figure out what is best for me. Don’t forget how much I love and care for you though.”

He smiled down at me and I felt my heart come back together, piece by piece. I ran back up the stairs to grab my backpack, phone, and my last few totes. Landon helped me carry out my things and pack it in the car. 

“This is really it for now, huh.”, Landon said to me.

“I’ll be back before you know it.” I leaned up to kiss his cheek. He opened the door for me and I got into the car. He kissed my hand and let it go. Landon backed away from the car and went to stand with Cindy, James, and Liam. My dad started the car and we began to pull away. I waved and Landon blew a kiss.

This was my point in life where I decided what was best for me. No parental guidance, just my conscience telling me what was best.