I hate my ex boyfriend, John, for what he did. He broke up with me after five years together. Just because I was going to college to get my degree in nursing, and he was going to stay back to work on my dad’s ranch. He broke my heart and it came as a total shock to me and everyone else. I really thought we were fine and that we would get married. We weren’t really like other couples who argued all the time. We rarely had an argument and he always brought me flowers and took me on dates at least once a week. He always told me he could never imagine his life without me and that he would love me until the day he died. 

My name is Kinsley, and John and I have been the town sweethearts since we were in elementary school. We lived in Texas, and John had basically been a part of the family since he was about 10. 

I will admit, since John broke up with me I have been very lonely. I wake up in the morning and cry pretty much the whole day. He broke up with me months before I actually have to go to college now, I can’t even bring myself to eat and have lost 10 pounds this past week. It probably doesn’t help that I can see John working through my bedroom window and I spend my whole day looking at our old pictures. I feel empty and weak, as if I lost a part of myself in the breakup. All because he is mad I am going to college. He really thinks I will find someone better than him. I mean how dumb does that sound? He knows I would never cheat on him and the college I am going to is only an hour away. But, all I can think about is how much I miss him. I can’t even focus enough to start my scholarship essays and I haven’t come out of my room in days. My friends beg me to hangout with them, but I would rather be buried alive than go out and socialize. 

Eventually my bestest friend, Ginny, convinced me to go downtown and do some shopping. It was the worst idea Ginny had ever had and I was kind of mad at her for dragging me along. Normally, she respects my space and will leave me alone when I am upset. She literally had to bribe me with a strawberry shake to go out. Which may I add is not even fair because she knows I can’t pass up a good strawberry shake from the local diner. The car ride into town made me want to puke my brains out. I was filled with anxiety and not to mention I looked like a trainwreck. We finally got into town and I will admit I did have fun. We went to all my favortie boutiques and small shops. I got the cutest jeans for the next field party on Saturday which Ginny is also forcing me to go to. I didn’t even think about John until I got home.

After going out with Ginny, I have been able to go into town alone. It was hard at first since John works for my dad I have to see him every time I left the house. I have realized I don’t really think about John as much as I used to. It’s kind of nice being alone and having my own space. I want to ask him if he is going to the party tomorrow night, but I know he will be there. John never misses a party, ever. That’s besides the point though. I am actually doing okay now, it has been two weeks since John broke up with me and I am learning to be on my own. I am really excited to go to college now as well. 

Now it is finally saturday night. I am super nervous because I know John will be there. What if he brings a new girl? What if he kisses someone else right in front of me? Then, I see him, he looks so good. His blonde shaggy hair peeking outside of his baseball cap and his stabbing blue eyes make me fall for him all over again, All of my feelings for him come rushing back as I see him walking towards me. My heart flutters as soon as I can see his eyes which seem to be staring into my soul.  He has that look in his eye and I know he misses me. “Hey…,” he says shyly. 

“Hey,” I reply blushing, which is totally embarrassing.

“How have you been, I feel like I haven’t talked to you in years,” he chuckles. 

“Oh, I’m doing ok, how about you?” I can feel all my feelings rushing back at the sound of his deep and raspy voice with a little hint of southern charm.

“I miss you like crazy, Kinsley. I can’t go another day without you,”. 

“I know John, I miss you too,” I really do miss him. Being with him is comfortable for me.

Then Ginny grabs my arm and pulls me away to go have some fun, “Come on,” she says, “you can drool over him later,”. 

I began to fume with anger. She knows how much I miss John and what if I can never talk to him again? What if he thinks I hate him? Not to mention that was totally embarrassing. The rest of the party I can’t stop thinking about John. I miss the connection we had, and I just really want him back. I miss the warmth I felt when our skin touched. I really miss his goofy laugh too. 

The next morning after the party I get a text from John, Hey Kinsley, it was great seeing you last night. Hopefully I can see you again. I really screwed up Kins, I do trust you to not cheat on me. I have realized how much you mean to me and I can’t imagine the rest of my life with anyone other than you. If you could please just forgive me even just a little bit I will make it up to you. My heart melts as I reply. Even though I am upset that he broke up with me, I could never stay mad at him. I know we will always at least be friends.  After that text we text everyday. I spend days on the phone with him and our love only grows stronger. Finally, he asks to meet up at our favorite lunch spot, and, of course, I agree to it. 

I get to the restaurant, and he is already there waiting for me. He has ordered my regular order and gotten my favorite drink for me. We talk for what seems like forever, and he even admits that he regrets breaking up with me. He realized that he knows I would never choose any other guy over him. John is one of a kind. He tells me how much he misses me and even asks if I will give him another chance. I tell him it will take time but I am willing to work on it. 

We end up going on another date a week later. We decide to go hiking and have a picnic by the lake. As I lay in his strong arms, I can feel the warmth from his skin transferring from his body to mine. 

He whispers to me, “I love you Kinsley and I always will. I hope you know that,”

 I blush at the sound of his voice and just nuzzle in closer to him. I know I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I have always known that. He has always treated me very well and is never controlling. He respects my thoughts and ideas and never judges me for any of my opinions. As the sun sets over the lake we decide to head home. He walks me to my front door and gives me a kiss goodbye. I stand by the kitchen window and watch him drive away in his dirty, old pickup truck. 

Over the next two weeks we go on many more dates and things start feeling like normal again. It is almost like we are falling more in love with each other. I am so happy and can tell things are going good for us. We even talk about how we can make our relationship better for the future. We know it is important to reassure each other of how much we love one another a lot while I am at college.

Now, a year later, our relationship is the best it has ever been and we are so happy. We spend a lot of quality time together going on new adventures and exploring the world. Being away at college is nowhere near as hard as we thought it would be. I thought I would barely see John but that is definitely not the case. Since my college is only an hour away, I come back frequently to see John and see how my dad’s ranch is doing. John and I still have an argument from time to time, but we make it a priority to talk about how to make our relationship better.