We will never work. We are from two different worlds. Our families do not approve of each other, and we have not helped each other in any way. You would never stick up for me. You would degrade me and make fun of me. However, I can not say that I am blameless. I would keep returning to you even after you hurt me and believed it was your way of expressing love. We only bring harm to each other, and our love will never prevail. Why should I sacrifice my feelings just for us to be together? I am tired of living under constant fear of being caught and the subordinacy I still feel when I am around you. I can never fully trust you; I know you feel the same way. We shared many beautiful memories, but the sour ones are resurfacing. You would ignore me, expect me to apologize, and constantly betray my trust. Yet, like a blind fool, I returned to you. That's how far I am willing to go for you. I will not betray my family and make sacrifices so we can be together. You left me when I needed you, betrayed me, and ridiculed me. I respected all those you loved, and I helped you whenever you called me, but not once have you helped my family or me when I needed you. I have burdened my friends with the secret of our love. The risk is immense for me, and I will lose more than you. Our love should not be why I can not acquire the respect I desire. I desire the mutual respect and trust I deserve in this relationship. I did love you, but I am not willing to make our love the reason I suffer. Yet why do I still return? Why are those feelings resurfacing again? It's been years- 5 at least- so why can’t I let go? Have you changed? Is this delusion? Why do I keep finding out more about you, worse, yet it draws me to you more. I can fix you; I can change you. I’m not ready to let go even though I should have. Is it too late for me? Will I ever love again? Why does your presence make me self conscious? I always need to look my best around you. That constant check and fear in my mind after our encounters. Maybe it’s just me who can’t move on. Maybe I'm the one stuck in the past without you all alone. Maybe I need you.