It was now after winter break and I mean Britain said he loved me and I loved him but Britain was just Britain. He did the bare minimum. He didn't really do anything special and out of the ordinary. I did meet a boy named Jay while playing bean bags with my cousin over winter break. He was cool, nice, and seemed really genuine. I got his phone number too. We ended up hanging out a few times this winter and I kinda spilled my guts to him. He was saying how Britain didn’t deserve me. I didn’t think I'd ever see him really considering we lived in 2 different areas and all.

 It was the first day back after winter break and I was super unmotivated. I put on my blue shorts, threw on my baggy white hoodie, and put on my white Air Forces. I put my hair half up and half down because for some reason it makes me feel taller. I ran downstairs to make some cinnamon pancakes. My mom was downstairs at the dining room table with her glasses slightly down and peering over her glasses at a newspaper. 

“Good morning,” I greeted. 

“Good morning, Cupcake,” she smiled. My mother has called me cupcake ever since I burnt some in the oven. I grabbed the pancake mix, my special cinnamon blend, and milk, and I started to mix it all together. I ended up making a huge mess which my mom told me I had to clean up when I got back from school. I put my pancakes on a plate and splashed syrup on them. I rushed and gobbled them down and then ran out of the house to catch the bus. 

When I arrived at school I went to my locker and put all my stuff in there except a pencil, my Chromebook, and a notebook. I shut my locker and when I turned around Arstria was standing there with her shoulder against another locker.

“Dang, you scared me Arstria,” I said frighteningly. 

“You're welcome!” she exclaimed. “How was your winter break?” 

“Very eventful,” I answered.

“What happened?” she wondered.

“Well, Britain has been acting really messed up lately,” I said. “He has been like this for a while now”.

“What did he do?” she questioned.

“He has been a really dry texter, he is very nonchalant, and he never really calls or texts me,” I explained. “He treats me like a friend and he is kinda emotionally abusive”. My shoulders tensed up and I began to breathe in and out as I leaned against my locker with books tight in my hand.

“I told you not to get with him,” Astria recalled. 

“I mean yeah but he wasn’t always like this. He used to be caring and loving but now it's like he doesn’t care anymore,” I mumbled. 

“You should probably break up with him at this point,” she suggested. “This has been going on for way too long”. 

“I’m stuck and attached, Astri you know this,” I said. “It’s like no matter what I do, even though I know the way he treats me, I can’t break up with him”.

“Yeah I know,” she responded. “By the way, when was the last time you talked to Karl?” 

“Remember, our breakup was complicated and we kinda ended with things left unsaid over the summer,” I reminded. “Don’t even get me started on how I feel about that”.     

“Okay I won't,” she laughed. “What’s your first period?” 

“I have Biology first,” I said while looking at my schedule upside down. 

“Yay, that’s what class I have first I guess we will be in there together,” she excitedly said. Then we walked to class together.  

I sat down and looked at the dry-erase board. It said the Biology teacher’s name was Mr.Chantler in funky handwriting. “I had him last year and he is really strict,” Astria said while chewing her gum annoyingly. Class started and Mr. Chantler introduced himself. Suddenly the door swung open and someone came in. 

“Late on the first day back Mr. Kinderson,” the teacher scolded. I looked up from the computer and it was Britain. Short twisted black hair and crazy style. He walked down my row and didn't even acknowledge me. There was only one chair open right behind me. 

He sat down and dapped up all his friends and joked around. “Oh hey Carmen,” he said dryly. 

“Oh so you can say hi but can’t text me,” I scowled .

“Oh my bad I was hanging out with my homeboys,” he weakly apologized.

“It takes two seconds to text hi Brit,” I said.

“It’s not that big of a deal im talking to you now aren’t I,” Britain scoffed and turned back around to his friends. 

Astria leaned over and whispered, “Why is he so sucky?”.

“That’s a good question,” I replied while rolling my eyes. The rest of class went by and all that went through my mind were problems of Britain and I. 

Me and Astria lie in my bed as we ate our colorful assortment of candies while we talked. The temperature is cold and we sit together in a warm fuzzy blanket. The perfect condition for girl talk.

“I think I might still have feelings for Karl,” I blurted out. 

“Finally you admitted it, I've been waiting” Astria grinned. 

“I shouldn’t feel this way though, I have a boyfriend,” I said. 

“Well yeah but to be honest he kinda deserves it and he’s a tool ,” she emphasized.

I looked down at my phone and saw a message from Karl reading hey can we talk?

“Oh my goodness he texted me,” I smiled

  “And the universe strikes ,” she sang. 

“ Oh my gosh no Jay did too,” I said in shock. 

“Wait like the dude from over winter break?” she asked. 

“Yes that dude,” I told her.

“Welp I gotta leave since it’s 8 o’clock and we have school tomorrow,” she said. “Give me an update tomorrow”.  We walked down stairs and I waved at her mom, Ms. Pope then I ran back upstairs. I snatched my phone off my bed, lied down and began texting Karl back. 

Hey what’s up 

Nothing much I just wanted to talk to you

Oh okay

I noticed you at the front of english 

Oh really why didn't you say anything 

I didn’t wanna bring up old feelings and complications

It would’ve been okay Karl you know I still care about you

Okay nice to know but speaking of that.

What?

I still care about and I think I still love you

My eyes began to open wide and I sat up in my bed. 

Oh i'm sorry i have a boyfriend

Oh I didn't know that im sorry

It’s okay

Well I’ll let you go 

Okay talk to you later and have a goodnight.

I sat in my bed and held myself. I don’t know what to do 3 guys and 3 choices run through my mind each with pros and cons.     

It was the next day at school and I was at lunch with Astria. 

“You wanna know something weird,” I asked. “Britain texted me yesterday in a really caring way and wasn’t dry”. 

“Wait really?,” Astria questioned.

“Yes really,” I replied. “He even walked me to class and held my hand, I like this new version of him”.

“Yep let's see how long that will last,” she scoffed. “And what about Jay?”.

“I really really like him,” I simpered. “He is different from any dude I've ever had relations with”.

“Aww really, that’s cute,” Astria said.

“He texts me good morning and goodnight, he really cares, he does cute things out of the ordinary, he is hardworking, he is a good communicator, and really tries to get to know me,” I ranted and beamed. 

“See we love a dude like that instead of silly Britain,” she said.

“Yeah and that’s another thing I have a boyfriend who I love but I can’t just let Jay go” I pointed out.

“Yeah I understand it's a struggle,” she sympathized. 

“Wait, I forgot to ask about Karl,” she remembered. 

“He is cool and nice and I do feel some type of way about him” I ranted.

“Oh my goodness a love flower” Astria laughed.

“What is that?” I wondered.

“You have 3 dudes who like you,” she stated. “It's like you're in the middle of a flower and there are 3 petals connected,” she smiles.   

“Wait your right,” I realized. “And by the way now that I think about it, I don't know if I wanna reopen the past with Karl, you know,” I said. The bell rang and everyone slowly walked back to class. “I’ll catch you later,” she said. I walk off to my algebra class.

It is the middle of algebra class and I start to overthink like I always do. How did I get into this mess? I have a decision to make between three guys. I already have a lot to balance between this and my school work. Ms.McFadden passes everyone’s test back. “Are you kidding me,” I shouted. Everyone stared at me and I scolded back. I got a D on my test. 

“I am very disappointed in some of you, make sure you study for the next test,” Ms. McFadden advised. The bell rang and I got up from my desk.

“Hey what's going on with your test, Carmen, you're usually an A student,” the teacher questioned. 

“I just have a lot going on right now,” I replied.

“Well, you should probably fix it before your grade average goes down,” she warned. I put my head down and walked through the door. The only thing that went through my head was that I needed to make a decision soon between my 3 petal guys. Astria stands outside the class waiting. 

“Hey can we talk,” she said worriedly.

“Yeah what’s up,” I wondered. 

“I don’t know how to tell you this but I like Britain” she burst out. 

“Are you freaking serious, my boyfriend,” I yelled. 

“No I mean the dude I liked first that you stole from me,” she shouted. 

“I can’t believe you,” I exploded. “He chose me”.

“No you never gave me a chance to tell him I liked him,” she pointed out. “ You never ever consider my feelings, Carmen, and you rant about your problems, never caring about mine”. 

“What, I do care about you Astria,” I said caringly. 

“No you actually don't and this is the third dude you have dated that I have liked and I'm tired of it,” she snapped. “But I’m done, I don't care anymore,” she said as she started to walk off. 

 “Wait Astri,” I called after her. 

I walked through the house door and she looked over at me.  

“What’s wrong, Cupcake you seem upset,” my mom questions.

“Just some stuff at school I gotta worry about,” I told her. 

“It’s okay you don't have to tell me what's happening now but I'm here for you,” she consoled. 

“Thanks, Mom,” I grinned. I began to run upstairs. I pulled out my phone and texted Jay. 

Hey you okay?

Yeah I’m fine

Idk maybe it's just me but it seems to be different between us 

Yeah if i'm being honest im slowly starting to give up because i feel like you and your boyfriend are never gonna break up. 

Oh i'm sorry I do understand though

It’s okay I do really like you so it’s gonna be hard but i'll be okay

Maybe in different circumstances but I do care about Britain

Yeah it’s okay i'm getting sleepy though so i'm gonna head to bed

Okay goodnight 

Goodnight and sleep well    

“I'm losing him but I love Britain,” I thought. Britain feels like the risky and on edge choice which I like. Jay is the safe and comfortable choice where I'm always treated right. Karl is the choice where I know exactly what I'm gonna get and it's nostalgic with him.  “I know what I have to do”.

I walked into school and instantly saw Britain with his friends. I slowly walked up to him and I was shaking a little bit. My anxiety got the best of me. 

“Can we talk?” I asked.

“I guess,” he responded.

“I don’t think I can do this anymore,” I say. “You act like you don't care and you don't even try to communicate with me and I deserve better”. 

“Okay you do you and go live your life,” Britain monotoned. 

“I already am,” I smiled and laughed. “ I'm living my best life right now”.

I whipped out my phone and texted Jay. I told him I broke up with Britain and instantly got a message back reading are you serious and you're gonna make me fall in love with you. My cheeks got rosy and I smiled big. I started to realize how much I really liked him and might even loved him. As I look up from my phone I see Astria walking in the hallway. I ran up to her. 

“I’m sorry,” I apologized. “I should've acknowledged your feelings more and just to let you know me and Britain broke up”. 

“It's okay, I should have never yelled at you and that's crazy,” she said.

“You can get with Britain if you want since he is a free agent,” I encouraged. “I am done with him.” 

“No, I’m okay,” she replied. “Our friendship is more important than some boy and plus you guys just broke up,” she pointed out. 

“Yeah I know,” I said. “So are we good?”.  

“Peachy,” she smiled.

We hugged each other and walked to class. Everything was right in the world and perfect. Three petals withered to one.