September...


I was lost… like a leaf when it withers off of its tree into the late September breeze on a mild sunny day. The obscurity surrounding me gave me a startle as the few memories I had left of whatever my life was before flashed through my mind. Then it dispersed…slowly and steady, and without my permission. Nothing was lucid to me and I felt a strong throb in my head, as though a million hammers were taking turns assaulting it. I felt the shrill drumming of my heart vibrating through me and suddenly, my whole body tensed up… as if it was no longer under my control. The atmosphere around me was closing up, like something was stealing all of my oxygen and little by little, what was left of my air didn’t fully flow through my system. My breathing felt heavy, and my chest gave out in pain. Nothing was working… then suddenly, my ears picked up the sound of a car and my body loosened, as if the strange force that had overcome it before had now disappeared. I heard the car come to an abrupt stop and my body felt light, as well as my eyelids. Slowly, I opened them to see the driver was a good looking guy with a surfer’s tan and his chocolate brown eyes accentuated his short bushy curly black hair. He was dressed in a football jersey and long jeans. His face was streaked with blood and sweat and his breathing was tedious, his eyes droopy. I lifted my head a bit, which made him snap his head toward me.
“Delanie! Thank god!” he said. He looked intensely toward me with such passionate eyes and I felt so stupid, not knowing who he was and why he looked so relieved. He touched a cold finger to the side of my face, which is when I realized that I was bleeding.
“Oh my god, I have to get you to the hospital!” he said, caressing my chin. My mind went blank, and as if the force had taken over again, my eyes felt dreary and my breathing felt arduous, loudly thumping through me in sync with my heartbeat. Then, I heard the good-looking guy shout “Delanie!” as my eyelids took over and I went unconscious.
Fragments of what I called my ‘before-life’ flashed through my mind as I was unconscious, but they always disappeared too fast for me to catch them or lock them into my memory. Suddenly, I was in a dream… a dream in which I was aware I was in but didn’t know how to get out. The only thing my memory stored was the guy in the car. He had curly black hair and brown eyes, talked with a very deep voice and was quite tall. He had a little bit of a mustache and a little stubble on his chin. But who was he and how did he relate to me? Not having time to swarm around more questions, I fell helplessly into a deeper sleep, one that had no exit signs.






Patience

They always say that patience is a virtue, but at that moment, it was a nightmare. My heart pounded feverishly in my chest as i thought about the events of the night. Delanie clouded my mind over and over and i felt overwhelmed in helplessness every time, knowing that at the moment, i couldn't see her as they put stitches into her many cuts and tested her because of the severe blows she took to the head or be there to comfort her if the anesthesia wore off too early and she woke up in screaming agony... the waiting room was chilly and my surroundings were vague as my mind wondered into the land of if only and every limb i had ached, but i ignored it since my own pain wasn't important to me right now. I looked around; feeling like everything was moving in slow motion, as if life was on mute and everyone walked at a snail pace. I heard my pulse beat potently in my ears and i felt nervous sweat trickle down my forehead as my eyes clouded over and i realized that i was crying.
"Be a man Tony" i whispered to myself, wiping away the tears, but they wouldn't stop. I wanted to collapse to the floor, because i felt so vulnerable, because my constant tears blurred my vision and i was getting impatient. I wanted to be angry at the whole world for my misfortunes. The space around me was closing up and i felt claustrophobic, a feeling i've never felt before. I got up on shaky legs and went out the nearest exit. The sky was empty and i suddenly felt overwhelmed again and before i could control my actions, i slammed my fist into a nearby wall. The scorching pain that vibrated through my body right then was nerve wrecking and my tears fluently flowed out. My legs refused to support me any longer and i descended to the floor, pounding my fists against concrete, fighting myself instead of the world, not caring if anyone was watching me and thought i was mental... I just wanted everything to turn back to how it used to be. I got up, looking at my fist, watching the creases of blood ooze out of my wound and slowly trickle down my hand. I sat down on a bench next to me, burying my face in my hands, crying there for twenty minutes before feeling like i couldn't cry anymore and my face refused to reproduce anymore tears, even though i still bottled up so much anger inside of me. Then, i felt a hand fall lightly on my shoulder and looked up to see Dylan, Delanie's older brother
"How is she?" he asked.
"She has... post traumatic amnesia" i responded as i shook my head and stood up. Dylan hugged me and i could tell that he was trying his hardest to be strong. Dylan has always been like an older brother to me, especialy since i'm an only child. Over the years, whenever he couldn't look out for his little sister, I was always the one to take his place without him asking, as her best friend. Time and time again, i have always followed through and got the job done by protecting her and bringing her back home safely, but this wasn't one of those times...
"Come on, let's go in" he whispered, his eyes just as red as mine, and then we both walked in, not saying another word, suddenly lost in our own agonies... and we were suddenly both desperate to find lives' remote control to press the rewind button and reverse back to the time when we knew the pleasure of happiness.