This love seemed to be no different than a debilitating disease. My frame grew frailer as my desire to eat diminished. So with little energy to expend, I remained entangled in my sheets, ignoring the buzzing sound coming from the cell phone that lay right beside me. It had been going off all throughout the day and I was ready to frisbee it out my window, but I knew that if I moved an inch, all my nerves would catch on fire. Is this guy worth the hell that you're going through right now? If I had the strength to reply back to the voice inside my mind, I'd scream out, "Just this one."

I had myself convinced that he was everything that I had ever wished for; no one who knew me personally could deny that we seemed to have been made for one another. But I set myself up for failure: he resides in the country that I left over a decade ago. The Atlantic Ocean that divides us laughed boisterously in my somber, pallid face. Feeling defeated? I exhaled loudly and closed my eyes, only to find him there. His delicate and somewhat feminine facial features were so incredibly attractive, especially with those hazel, almond-shaped eyes decorated in kohl.

I gasped in pain and refrained from clutching my chest as my heart rate increased tremendously. Thump, thump, thump. The pulse drummed in my ear and traveled to the very tip of every limb, ringing against the dead end it reached. It was tingling sensation after growing tingling sensation, like the kind that occur when your foot has fallen asleep, and it took little time for me to toss myself up and off that bed. I had intended to walk off the sensations, but I collapsed on the floor. "S***!" I winced as I massaged the wrists that had aided in breaking my fall. Dizziness. I massaged my temples as well. What just happened?

Once my head stopped spinning, I tried to re-focus my vision and my eyes landed on my stereo system. The number 12 was flashing on the minuscule screen. "Not you," I whispered out loud. I slowly crawled over to the machine and sat cross-legged in front of it, hesitating and eventually pushing the play button. His long-familiar voice echoed off my walls and surrounded me as he sang, "Turn around, I am here. Doesn't count, far or near." The drums clashed and the guitar played lightly in the background as the song concluded with, "I am by your side. Just for a little while. We'll make it if we try." I curled my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them, and with a small smile and single tear upon my face, I thought, "We'll get our chance to try."