When I look back at everything that happened, everything that changed my life in those few months, I realize that I would never regret a thing for as long as I lived.
I look at Bentley, and I see the man I fell in love with, the boy who changed my life so radically, that I realized what a soul mate was.
I look at Joel, and I see the man who finally realized that he wasn’t a good person, who changed his ways, and is now devoted to everything that matters to him.
I look at Lillian, and see the girl who has always been my best friend, but is now deeply in love, and happy. And I’ve never been happier for her.
I look at Chelsea, and I see the girl that has one of the biggest hearts in the world, and I know that she will be happy, even if things don’t go the way she planned.
I look at my mom, and even my dad, and I see two of the best parents in the world, who did what they could, what they knew how to do.
I look at Melanie, someone I never, ever thought would come into the picture, but she has been one of the best, most reliable friends I could ever imagine.
I look at Ryan, one of the sweetest football players I ever met, and I hope he and Melanie realize what they could have together.
I look at Hope, oh my darling daughter, and I see that she is going to be one of the most talented, beautiful, loved people in this world. You see, all of the people listed above, love her with all of their hearts, they continue to be amazed by her everyday. All of those people, they loved me and I know that they will always care for Hope, will always be there for her.
Those people made my short life something amazing, something unforgettable, and I know deep in my heart, that I would live my life over and over, the same exact way.
I guess what you need to know now, is my story. So sit back, relax, and read my story. Maybe it will change you, even if in a small way, maybe you’ll think I’m one of the biggest idiots around. Or maybe you’ll understand everything I did. I certainly hope so because I don’t think I could have done it any differently.





***
It was February in L.A., and the biggest party of the year was being talked about everywhere in school. It was a Valentine’s party, everyone who was anyone was going, no invitations needed. My best friend Lillian had just moved recently, and I didn’t have any friends left, so I figure this would be a great place to meet people, even though I’m incredibly shy.
I went out that evening after school to one of the dress stores closest to where I lived. I didn’t have much money, but all the money I had would go into this outfit, it was worth it. I looked around for about an hour before my eyes landed on a beautiful red dress, cut low in the front but not anything too trashy. It came down to my knees, and looked casual enough where I could wear it and still seem like I didn’t put much thought behind it.
I walked to the cash register and paid one-hundred dollars for it and an extra fifty dollars on a pair of red flats to match. Everyone had to have a heart to go, that was part of the theme, so after I got home I cut out a little heart and pinned it to my dress. I pulled on the dress, and then I curled my hair slightly, so it would wave. I pinned some of it back, to frame my face, and then I slid my shoes on.
I walked into the living room, where my mom was sitting on the couch with Dad, watching some old television show.
“Where are you going?” they had both asked. “You look beautiful,” Mom added.
“I’m going to the Valentine’s Day Party, that’s okay, right?”
They were worried about me ever since Lillian had moved, so of course they were excited to see me going out, “oh, of course it’s okay!” Mom crooned.
I smiled, “I’ll be back at one, that’s the curfew right?”
She nodded, “yes, yes.”

I sighed, I can’t believe that my parents actually let me stay out until one in the morning, but they so rarely saw me go out, I guess it doesn’t matter.
So, I hopped into my car, careful not to mess up my dress. I drove out to Chelsea McLane’s, where the party was. She lived in a huge mansion, so it was pretty exciting, to see how the other half lived. I got there, and went around back to where everyone else was. No one seemed to notice me, and so I walked in quietly and stood off near the bar, by myself.
The bartender had smiled at me, he was cute, I’m guessing he was young, maybe too young to be mixing drinks, but that doesn‘t matter, because we‘re too young to be drinking anyway. “What can I get for you?” he asked politely, smiling at me.
“Um… I’m not sure,” I had said, naïve.
“Well, I take it you’ve never drank before?”
“No, not at all,” I said truthfully.
“Well, we’ll start you off with a Strawberry Daiquiri most girls like the fruity stuff .”

“Um, whatever you say.”
He laughed and fixed something and handed it to me, “have fun.”
I smiled, “I hope I can.”
I drank it very fast, and as my nerves became worse, I asked for another, and another, not realizing just how drunk I was becoming. The bartender could tell just how nervous I was, and he kept supplying the drinks in understanding, and he didn’t say a word when after a while, he showed up, yes the quarterback, Joel Jenkins. He was absolutely mesmerizing. He could take my breath away with one look.
He was close to me, ordering some drinks, I must have made a slight noise or something that sent a look my way, “oh, hey,” he had said, “why are you standing here so quietly?” he asked, and quickly surveyed me. “Do I know you?”
I smiled at him, “um, I don’t really know. And, yeah, we go to school together.”
“Oh? What’s your name?” he had smiled, sending my heart through my chest.
“I’m Serenity.”
“Well, hi, Serenity. That’s an… interesting name. I’m Joel.”
I laughed, sounding a little tipsy, “oh, I know.”

He smiled, “can I order you another drink?”
“Well, they’re free, but go right ahead.”
“What are you drinking?”
“Um, not sure really some strawberry something?”
He nodded and asked the bartender for one, the bartender said something quietly to him, and then handed him my drink, along with a beer for Joel. “Here you go,” Joel said to me, his blue eyes sparkling.
I smiled at him, “thanks.”
I drank a couple gulps, though my nerves weren‘t really there anymore, I didn‘t want them coming back anytime soon. “So, what grade are you in?” he had asked, shouting so I could hear above the music.
“I’m in the ninth,” I said. I knew he was a senior, and I knew he was so far out of my league, but I couldn’t help but wonder why on Earth he was talking to me if he wasn’t interested, you know?
He nodded, “I’m a senior.”
I laughed again, “I know that too. You are our school’s star quarterback.”
“How come I know so little about you, yet you know so much about me?” he had asked.
I shrugged, “I try to keep a low profile in the school.”
His eyes roamed from my face to my feet, “A pretty girl like you shouldn’t hide from anyone, Serenity.”
I blushed, no boy had ever complimented me, let alone Joel Jenkins. “Thanks, Joel,” I had said.
“Do you want to go somewhere quiet where we can talk?” he had asked.
And like an idiot, I had nodded, I would have followed him off a cliff if he had asked. He grabbed my hand and led me towards the house, pulling me up to a room, where everything was so white, I thought it was Heaven in my drunken stupor.
He closed the door, and watched me sit down on the bed, “wow, this is soft,” I murmured, glad we didn’t have to yell anymore to hear each other.
He smiled and sat down beside me, “it is.”
I nodded and gulped some more of my drink, “so…” I had said, not knowing what I was supposed to do.
He laughed, “have you ever been alone with a boy before, Serenity?” he asked.
I shook my head, “I mean… I’ve had boyfriends, but we’ve never… done anything.”
“Have you ever kissed a boy, Serenity?”
I shook my head again, “I’m pretty inexperienced,” I joked.
He laughed, “that’s alright. I could teach you some things, if you want,” he said, as if I had a choice.
I shrugged, “um, I don’t want to like… make this awkward.”
“Oh, it won’t be awkward, it will be natural, I assure you.”
I drank down the rest of my drink quickly, set it on the floor, and when I sat back up straight, he leaned in, put his hands on my face and kissed me lightly, my first kiss.
My heart was pounding, this was too good to be true! He actually thought that I was pretty! Joel Jenkins was actually interested in ME!
He kissed me again, and again, and then we just began to make out, my first time making out. When he reached around me to unzip my dress, I was halfway aware of what he was doing and I stopped him, “wait…”
“Serenity,” he said, and kissed my neck softly, “I won’t ever hurt you. You’re a beautiful girl, we could be so good together, Serenity.”
I smiled and nodded against my better judgment, my head thinking of all the possibilities we could have together, and how amazing it was that I had decided to go to this party after all.
He unzipped my dress, and then, we made love, I lost my innocence to that boy.