It’s incredible, really. How you can live your entire life, go through the pain of heartbreak, lose people you care about, make life-long memories, how there are things and memories and people in your lifetime that are irreplaceable and then suddenly it’s gone. You die and everything that ever happened in your life means nothing. The memory of your heart shattering when you caught your boyfriend cheating on you in 9th grade, that feeling of success glowing inside of you when you graduated at the top of your class, none of it will matter because you’ll end up buried 20 feet underground. Everything you thought was worth living for won’t really matter at the end of the road.
So what’s the point in living?


***
One minute I was standing there, I was living, breathing and the world was going on around me. The next, there was screaming, and tires screeching, and the rumblings of a speeding train.
And then nothing.
Darkness surrounded me, but only for a moment. I was up again, blinking in the harsh sunlight. That was weird. I thought to myself, I turned to ask Derek something, only to realize he was gone.
And I was in the middle of pure chaos.
I was in front of the train tracks, where I had been waiting to cross with Derek just a few seconds ago. But now there were people getting out of their cars while still on the road, there was screaming and honking from cars backed up all the way down Main Street who couldn’t see what was going on. I began to push through the crowd of people. Nobody seemed to even notice me.
“What else is new?” I mumbled to myself.
Finally, I made my way to the front of the crowd. Everyone was gathered around the train tracks.
Around Derek.
“Derek!” I screamed running forward and collapsing in front of him. He was covered in blood, and lying face-down on the train tracks.
“No….oh my God….NO!” I screamed shaking him. This isn’t happening…Not him…please not him… I was screaming and crying for help; but nobody seemed to hear me. The crowd was panicking.
“Hello? 9-11?” I heard out of the crowd finally. I retuned back to Derek, two men began to lift his body up…
Revealing his tear-streaked face and heaving chest.
“You’re alive! Derek! Oh thank God!” I threw my arms around his shaking body, and tried to pull the two mans’ hands off his arms. They didn’t budge. It was like I hadn’t even grabbed at them. Derek didn’t seem to see me either.
“I’m at the Train Station on Main Street, in Remingsly, New Jersey. There’s a girl who’s just been run over by the 3 o’clock train.” A man in a business suit said.
“What are you talking about? First of all, he’s a guy. And second of all, he’s not dead! Can’t you see? He just needs a hospital!” Nobody seemed to notice, the man in the suit just kept talking, and I turned my attention back to Derek.
“Derek? Can you hear me? I’m gonna get you to a hospital, okay?” searched frantically for my cell phone, but as usual I had left it at home.
“Are you alright, son?” The one man studying Derek asked
“Of course he’s not!” I yelled into the man’s face. “Can’t you see he’s-“
“Is any of that blood yours?” the second man asked interrupting me. Derek shook his head.
“What are you talking about?! Derek, you obviously-“
“Did you know the girl? Can you give us any information.” a tall African-American woman asked. She had a New Jersey police uniform on. I didn’t understand; what was happening?
“Derek; what are they talking about? What girl-“
“Her name was Evangeline Delia.” Derek whispered.
The whole world began to spin as I looked down at the train tracks to see my own mangled corpse lying in front of my feet.