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An Evolved Infatuation
His eyes, gentle and forgiving, overwhelmed me with an unfamiliar sensation. He could lucidly see through me, through the artificial smile and flawless persona which I sought to portray. He engendered the veracity of my concealed personality with such ease and simplicity. The emerald pools that stared into my innocent eyes, grasped my heart with full force. As the sun subsided, he brushed away a stray, auburn curl from my delicate face. My crimson stained lips parted and an involuntary chuckle seeped out from the pit of my stomach.
A feeble sound directed our attention to a large oak tree above. A fragile and tender baby bird reluctantly stepped onto the edge of a stark nest. I watched as it soared into the new, unexplored world, its agile wings taking it into the turbid clouds. Melting into the distant mountains, the sun’s radiance dwindled into the abstruse and infinite universe. With the sun’s disappearance, all that remained was the nostalgic reminiscence of that beautiful day.
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This article has 5 comments.
Hey kristen.b. I thought this was great writing. If I am correct in my interpretation, the way you used the bird to portray the evolution of love/infatuation was very cool. The use of the objective correlative was great; at first you're timid in love, and then as it progresses it deepens and is more meaningful and expansive.
I agree with Tuffgirl that some of the descriptions seem a bit forced, but on the whole I really enjoyed this piece!