I remember those times, not so long ago. Times filled with hope and faith, happy memories. I guess looking around now, you would have never known those even existed. The world as we know it, is crumbling down. I feel like I can see what used to be, but very faintly. I can see that last day with you, how it felt. It was the best last day ever… and one of the hardest.


I can see sunshine through my partially closed eyes; I can smell the dew of the morning. Opening my eyes, I see you are still sleeping. Oh, how you look like an angel. So soft and sweet; I can hardly control myself. Sighing, I roll over and get out of bed. It’s hard to leave, but I must. I have to get dressed, but looking at him again, my will has crumbled to the floor. I forget what I’m doing; it was like my body was being gravitated over to him, almost like I had never left.

You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams. I know in my heart, that I would rather die than to see him hurt, even by me. It made me question myself. What am I doing to him? Would I hurt him? How could I live with myself?

The choice I have to make makes me want to cry. It feels like my soul is being ripped in two; one part keeps telling me to stay, to live a happy life with the man I love. The other, crueler, part tells me to leave him before I get more emotionally attached. How can choose when both choices make me feel like a failure?