“Kathrin.” He opened his arms wide, waiting.
I laughed at my father. “Papa, you know I’m too old for this.”
“You’re never too old to be my little girl.”
His arms spread wider, open to a world of love. It was warm out today. Too warm for December, but despite the strange temperature the sun was still shining and love was still in the air. A little girl raced across the sandy beach with her mother, high pitched laughter ringing above the waves crashing against the shore. A longing doused my happiness. I wish my mother had done that, I thought. I would have given anything to be part of that feeling that only my father expressed.
“Kathrin.” A voice called out behind me, not my father’s. I turned. It was Gavin. His arms too were open wide.
I felt torn between the two voices, reaching out to me, each wanting all of me or none at all.
“Gavin?”
He nodded. “I’m here, Kathrin. I’m waiting.”
I looked back at my father who repeated Gavin’s words. Salty water rippled down my cheeks as the sky turned from a postcard picture perfect sunset to an angry bluish gray. I can’t choose between the two men I love the most. I whipped my hair back and forth between them trying to make a fast decision before my time was up. But in this nightmare, the only trouble I had deciphering was the fact that my father was here. My father had been dead for almost three years.
“I don’t have much time!” My father yelled over the roaring wind that suddenly appeared, swirling the golden sand like dust.
“Papa! Don’t leave me!”
Then there was Gavin, hanging on to my shoulder, anchoring me in place.
“Don’t go! Stay with me!” He was desperate.
“Let me go, Gavin! Please!”
He let me go abruptly, not wanting to lose me by my own free will, but yet giving me the very thing.
I turned back to my father but found only sand in his place.
Tears heated my eyes and blurred my vision but I could see with absolute clarity what had happened. I had run out of time. Turning my body to find comfort in Gavin, I saw that he too had left me. I had never felt so alone in my life before. I closed my eyes waiting for the tears I know would never come. When I opened my eyes, the scenery had shifted. It was all black except for two white portal type looking things that I had only seen in movies. I breathed deeply, in out, in out, in out, until I felt like I could be in control. It was silent. The kind of silence that makes you look over your shoulder for monsters, makes you think of those ghost stories you told in the campfire day. The kind of silence that screams.
A laugh boomed from the left tunnel, making my heart skip a beat. Whether if it was in delight or fear I will never know. Then came a ticking noise from the right tunnel, like the sound you would hear if you were in a hospital. A choir full of angelic voices rang, and then a voice speaking to me in words I couldn’t hear above all this noise. A trumpet, a chair scraping across a floor, Children laughing , pencils lead scratching something out on a piece of paper. The intensity of the sound made me cover my ears. Abruptly, it stopped and silence was the language. Voices in my head said choose. I instantly headed over to the left portal with its singing choir and trumpets. It’s what any person with common sense would do. But just before I entered, I thought about the other portal. It sounded so…real. Full of life. So I followed my heart and did what I thought was best.
I turned right.