“I'm dreaming of a white Christmas.”
I laughed.
“You're a terrible singer.”
“And you’re a terrible audience.”
“It’s not even Christmas.”
“You’re my Christmas.”
He set his drink on the coffee table beside him and stood. He was much taller than I was, a whopping 6'6, and every time I said how huge he was he would wrap his arm around my waist; kiss me, then say,
“See we fit perfectly.” He reached out his hand to me, a life ring. I looked at that hand with the deepest compassion. These were the hands that wiped my tears away instead of forming them, the hands that held me when I cried, and held me tenderly instead of making my face sting with disappointment. I took his gorgeous hand and let him pull me up from the couch. He pressed is body to my own and I sighed in content. Linking our fingers together, one by one we became one person. “Hmm...Hmmm...” He hummed the tune of White Christmas, his breath hot against my forehead, and even in his off-key tone, it was beautiful. Cotton ball sized snow rained down from the sky, Gavin's porch light making it glisten and shimmer as it fluttered to the ground. A wolf howled in the distance, the kind of howl that would send shivers down a spine. But nothing scared me anymore. Nothing except for my own husband whom I'm cheating on. But is it really cheating if you’re the one who's been cheated out of love all along?
We danced like that for a long time; holding each other with tenderness that we hadn't known before. That I didn't know existed.”And may all your Christmas',” Gavin sang, then paused lifting my chin up and pulling it “be white” he whispered the last part, a secret that only we could know. His words wobbled with emotion as he said, “I love you Kathrin.”
I didn't respond, I didn't have to, so instead I kissed him, saying everything that couldn't be said through words.
He deepened it and gently set me on the wall. Gavin pulled back, and I panted hard as if he had sucked up all my air. Our gazed stayed fixed on one another, our eyes passing back and forth a silent discussion, both knowing were this was going. I pinched a small white button on his shirt and unfastened it, doing the same to the rest of them until I peeled his plaid shirt off revealing his bare chest. I grazed my lips over a part of it, tasting him, as he lifted my shirt over my head and let it fall like confetti to the ground. I couldn't control what was happening and it was scary but all the same freeing. I knew Gavin would never hurt me like Devin did. I trusted him. Gavin lifted me up, laying me slowly and gently on the couch ready to love me with everything he had.

A knock pounded on the door. I sighed dramatically and Gavin just laughed, grazed my lips again and said.”Put your shirt on.” I picked up Gavin's shirt instead and slipped it on, feeling disappointed. I heard the lock click open and Gavin revealed the man standing outside. He was tall, taller than Gavin by an inch or so, muscular, dark haired, and a nightmare.