He settled into his chair and began.

“My mother was a schizophrenic. My dad was a drunk. Actually, he became a drunk after my mom started seeing things. He thought that he could just drown her out. He thought he could pretend she didn’t exist but…it didn’t work. After about three years my mom passed away. She couldn’t take it anymore. She killed herself. I came home from school and found her on the couch. She had poisoned herself. I thought she was asleep and tried to wake her up. Then, my dad got home. He checked her pulse and called an ambulance but it was too late. She had been gone for hours by then. I was seven. Seven! From then on I had to fend for myself. My dad went into depression. He just drank and drank and drank. I did everything. Somehow, he continued to work so we always had money. As I got older I spent more and more time out of the house, joined track and got a job. For a while I started hanging out with these guys. They were up to no good and I knew it but, honestly, I was lonely. I tagged along with them all the time. Eventually, they shot this guy. I was there but refused to plead against them. I ended up being let off easy. I did community service for your little play. That’s when I met you. You were so beautiful. I fell for you but, I’m no good. I couldn’t drag you into my problems. I can’t do that to you.”

I looked at him. Really looked at him. I said, “You stopped talking to me and broke up with me because you thought that I wouldn’t accept you and understand that you made bad decisions. My life is not perfect Toni! I’m not this figure you’ve imagined in your mind to be unattainable. I can cope with the fact that you’ve done wrong. SO HAVE I!! That’s life. It hurts to know that that’s how you feel. I should go. Thank you.”

With that, I left. He hurt me more now than he did earlier but it was my turn to leave him. Something about him though, it just made me want to fix him. To make him happy. To make him mine.

I continued talking to him. He became my best friend. I don’t know how or why but he did. He was just always there. After a break up with different guys or sports accidents, he was there. That same feeling was there too. Gosh, how I longed for him. For his lips on my own. For his hands on my waist. I could not get him out of my mind.

We were walking at the lake one day in June. School had just finished and I was so happy to be free again. I started to spin in circles in the grass. Before I knew it, I was in his arms. It was so reminiscent of that day. It seemed so long ago.

“Kiss me.” He whispered in my ear.
I did. It was like candy and ice cream and all the best things rolled into one.
He pulled me closer and I put my arms around his neck and kissed him again. I must have gotten carried away because before I knew it we were on the grass. This had to stop before it got too far. I moved away and looked at him.
“I think it’s time to go.” I said.
“Yeah.” He replied.