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I Don't Want a Boyfriend Ever
I probably couldn’t care less about boys. They’re dumb and immature, I don’t want a boyfriend who hugs me and says sweet things. I don’t want to finally have my first kiss or hold hands with a cute guy. I really don’t need or want any of that drama. I don’t want a guy to walk me to class and smoothly put his arm around me, or grab me around the waist and kiss me. Why on earth would I want any of that? It sounds like torture. I like being alone and looking annoyingly at the cuddling couples that seem to be pouring out from every nook or cranny of the entire school. I love the jokes that my friends and I make up about the dumb guys that try to act all cool from the table next to ours or the impersonations of them we do. I would never want a guy to pull me close and whisper “I love you” in my ear or anything gushy and completely sweet like that. I love being alone and single without an amazing boyfriend. I will never have a boyfriend, please why would I ever need one? Anything he can do for me, I can do for myself. I can think nice things about myself, or carry my own books and I can… well I could…but I can’t kiss myself or give myself a hug, hold my own hand, whisper in my own ear but I can do something, I can never hurt my own heart or break up with myself. That is exactly why I would never want a cute, funny, sweet boyfriend because after all the fun and games the only one there for me, and that is me. I don’t want to hold his hand, kiss him, ask him for his jacket, have him hold my books, or anything a “boyfriend” would do. I can keep my hands to myself, avoid diseases that come from kissing, bring my own jacket, hold my own books and anything else that he could think of but most of all I’m always safe because I can’t break my own heart and that is why I couldn’t care less about boys.
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