Tomorrow’s the day I’m going to tell him, I decided as I do every night. And of course, after this comes the doubts. “What if he just laughs?” is the prime example. I usually stop after this question swirls around my brain but some nights like tonight my brain doesn’t want to stop. I look at my alarm clock and see the yawning time of 1:07. Now I know some of you will think I’m crazy, but I’m normally an “asleep by 11” girl, even on the weekends. “What if he like me too or asks me out?” But then of course come the doubts again…and so begins my tragic story of December 14th 1999.
For the first time in my life I woke up with the thought I had before falling asleep. I was going to tell Alec. Today. The only period we have together is 7th so I made a plan to tell him when we walk out of class. Of course you realize I’m a girl and planned out several different scenarios but we’re not writing a novel here so let’s get back to the story. Through out the whole day I had butterflies in my stomach but I stood my ground. After 6th period I felt like my stomach acid was traveling up my throat. I considered giving up but I didn’t go through the stomach jitters for nothing. Seventh period was H*ll. I starred at the back of Alec’s head and admired his sandy blond curls the entire class, I even raised my hand to go to the nurse but the bell rang just in time. I caught up with Alek after gathering my things. He started talking to me about general things but I stopped him. If I didn’t get this out soon enough I was going to puke on his shoes. “ALEK.” I felt like I screamed but it came out a tiny whisper. I cleared my throat and started again. “Alek, I like you, like really, really like you, and I need to hear your response before I develop a stomach ulcer.” The look he gave me is the worst look I have gotten to this day and it gave me the worst feelings until I experienced what came after. Hannah Betris came up and grabbed Alec’s hand. My first instinct was to punch her in the face but I realized that Alec didn’t resist. They were a couple. I went home that night and cried. Cried, and that was all I did. I cried at the dinner table and even while doing my chores. Thank God my parents were at some doctor conference in San Francisco so I was alone. I got a letter in AP Chemistry the next day that made me feel the slightest bit better and worse. “Charlotte, you told me at a terrible time. I knew that this was going to happen. I gave up on you after two years of wanting you to be mine and a day later you tell me your secret. Maybe Someday, Alek.

Alek and I still get mixed emotions each time we pull it out of the slot in the back of our wedding album.