You watched her walk away. So easily, she took the first steps out of your life. She had no problem cursing your name and for a quiet young lady she certainly had no shame in screaming at the top of her lungs. As much as she loathed you at that moment, you couldn’t help but notice the beauty behind her breakdown. The anger and despair evident on her unpolished face showed nothing but vulnerability, something a woman wouldn’t dare let you see. She used every muscle in her tiny arms to shove you away. What did you do? Nothing. Instead, you stared at the pools of tears that filled her ivy green eyes. She chocked up and the projection of her screams crumbled down to a silence. The droplets carefully slithered down her cheek as you both locked eyes. You’ve never seen anyone with such intense feeling cry over you and her emotion, so heavy, filled the quiet gap of desperation. You waited for her to speak again because it wasn’t over. You knew it wasn’t.

“Did our two years together mean anything to you?” She asked, but didn’t dare let you answer. This was no longer a time for answers. “Did the times we spent talking about our future actually mean something? How about that weekend I spent in Jersey with your family, the night you said you really didn’t want anyone else, was that even real? That night you told me you wanted to marry me. You lied. Because if you really wanted me you wouldn’t have f***ed my best friend when I was away on vacation. You wouldn’t have done that.” She put her head down and other times you would have grabbed her face and kissed her. This wasn’t like the other petty arguments you’ve had with her the past two years. This was the fight to end it all.

“I know I can’t say anything to make this any better, but I’m sorry. I truly am sorry,” your vocal chords quivered and you almost didn’t recognize the crackling noise coming out of your mouth. You’ve never heard so much sorrow, so much destruction in two sentences. The unfamiliar words replayed inside your head as she sat down on the curb, just a few feet away. She didn’t speak again but placed her palm over her eyes. Her slender body shook and the tears escaped her almost immediately. You couldn’t stand to stay and watch anymore. You made the decision to leave.

The walk home was a long one, and you made the effort to make it longer. You took mysterious routes down abandoned roads, just to avoid the forced conversation waiting at home. Your mom knew your relationship with Vicky was over. Your mom knew everything. What you dreaded even more was explaining the details of what had just happened. You knew that the minute you’d walk through the front door you’d break down. The cool wind brushed around your hair while the trees bustled above you. It was beautiful outside. It was the perfect weather to end a disastrous day.


The rumors started the Monday after spring break. Vicky went to California and had the time of her life while you went to Caitlin’s party and ruined yours. You went to only one party the entire week off, yet you were the talk of the school. Everyone knew your name by Friday and it was definitely not a good thing. Caitlin Dawly’s party was completely packed with raging hormonal teenagers and you were really having fun. You didn’t think time without Vicky would ever be fun, but surprisingly, it was. Then, before the clock hit ten, everyone started getting drunk. You were content, maybe a little light headed. The girls started getting loose and the guys started getting aggressive. It made you remember exactly why you hated trashy high school parties. Just as you made your way to the door, the host of the party and Vicky’s lifelong best friend stopped you midway. It was Caitlin. Her eyes were heavy with darkened circles chiseled beneath and her makeup left nothing but foundation creased into the lines of her face. She looked like she’d been drugged and you thought it was a good idea to help her. Caitlin was Vicky’s best friend after all and you didn’t want her to end up past out somewhere in a bush. This was the part of the story where you’d give anything to go back in time and walk out the door. You grabbed her hand and trailed into the vacant kitchen. According to your fellow peers, you both held hands the entire night. No, not even close. You opened the fridge and took out a bottle of water and then made your way to the cabinet. You pulled out a granola bar and handed it to her.


“Oh my God. You’re…you’re such a sweetie. Now I k-know why Vicky’s all over you,” she said slurring her speech. She proceeded to stuff the bar in her mouth and you flashed her a friendly smile. The crumbs of the bar dispersed on the ends of her hair. She was an intoxicated wreck and you couldn’t help but chuckle as you removed the pieces from her curls.


“My bad, didn’t mean to intrude,” a girl apologized, welcoming the silent kitchen with an unusual sound. Caitlin laughed flirtatiously and you backed away. You realized how wrong the situation must have looked.


Apparently the girl that walked into the kitchen told her friends that you held Caitlin close and wanted to be left alone. This was the second lie of the night.


“Are you okay?” you asked, preparing to finally leave. She gave you a puppy dogface and leaned against your chest.


“No, I can barely s-stand up,” she said in between burps filled with beer gases. There was something insidious behind the outline of her smile, which infiltrated the fabrications her lips spoke. You walked away but she lingered behind, stumbling over her own furniture. You reached the doorway and turned around to say goodbye but she insisted on giving you a present. Her wet lips pressed against yours, right there in the middle of a crowded party. You forced her off.


“What’s wrong with you? Are you psycho?” you screamed but the vibrating speakers overpowered you. She twirled her black curls as she flashed you a devious grin. You slammed the door behind you and wiped her sloppy saliva off your moisturized lips. You couldn’t believe what just happened. You couldn’t understand why Vicky’s best friend would come onto you. You were absolutely disgusted and wanted nothing more at that very second than to kiss Vicky again.


Rumor number three was the one that towered all because as drunk as everyone was, they still had the incredible ability to notice that one kiss. They managed to see the kiss but not hear the phrases mumbled just seconds afterward. Rumor number three was that you had sex with Caitlin Dawly. Vicky was the first to hear it. You were one of the last. Caitlin never denied it in fact she confirmed it. She ended your relationship and there was nothing you could say or do to make anything better. You had your side of the story; the side that no one would care to believe, not even Vicky, someone you thought knew better. Vicky was convinced. What could you expect? Everyone in the entire senior class was gossiping about how you could cheat on a girl you’ve been dating for two years. Of course Vicky would believe them, it’d be a paradox if she didn’t.


You spent the next three days curled up alone crying in your room, patiently waiting for her to break it off. She took four days to finally call you and decide it was time to meet and talk. Vicky screamed and you listened.


You didn’t deny it because you knew exactly how she felt. She was absolutely disheartened and as much as you wanted to drop to your knees and beg for her to believe you, you couldn’t. All you could utter was an “I’m sorry” because you were. You were sorry for going to that party. You were sorry for drinking without her there. But most of all you were sorry for letting people lie. They didn’t know you weren’t capable of such infidelities, especially to a girl who was and still is your everything.


You reached the outside of your typical suburban looking home and fiddled with your keys. It took you awhile to notice the teardrops stained below your eyes. You’ve been crying for quite some time now, but you were too numb to feel it. You looked down at your keys again. You stood in place studying a small key chain with your name engraved on it. It was a gift from Vicky. You unattached the key chain and threw it into the bush next to your mailbox. Letting out a deep sigh, you forced open the door.