It's like you're screaming, and no one can hear
You almost feel ashamed
That someone could be that important
That without them, you feel like nothing
No one will ever understand how much it hurts
You feel hopeless; like nothing can save you
And when it's over, and it's gone
You almost wish that you could have all that bad stuff back
So that you could have the good
(from 'We Found Love' by Rhianna)



I was sitting on my bed my knees pulled to my chest,my arms around them lightly crying. I've been in the mental ward for 3 weeks now. I just wanted to go home. I've been on suicide watch the whole time I've been here. The only progress I've made is that I'm wearing color. I felt like no one here could hear me. They seperated me from everyone else and I'm not allowed a roommate.No one understood me or anything. I hated it here! I felt more alone here than I did at home. I heard voices outside my door and got off my bed. I put my ear to the door to hear what was going on. "It's so nice to have you guys here"Susie one of the nurses here said. Curious I cracked open my door and peeked through. What I saw nearly made me gasp out loud. "It's great to be here"Kevin said "we always visit the kids and teenagers who are sick with a deadly disease like cancer or is battling diabetes. We have never visited the kids who just need love like the ones here in the mental ward"Nick added. "Well everyone is excited for the concert"Susie said "afterwords you guys can visit rooms". "Sounds like a plan"Joe said with a smile. They walked away passing my door. Joe looked right at my door and I backed away from the crack. I waited until the footsteps faded before I closed the door. I had just got back in my original postion on my bed when my door was opened again. "Listen Miracle since you're on sucide watch you have to stay in your room during the concert. If any of the guys come in this room stay silent ok"Susie said,I nodded my head. "Alright I'll check on you once they leave"Susie said then she left,I sighed. I turned on my lap that was build in the wall so you couldn't remove it and started reading 'The Lost Hero'.

About half anhour passed when there was a soft knock on my door. It was too soft for it to be one of the cleaning people and the nurses never knocked. I remained silent and continued reading my book. My door opened and someone walked in. "Um hi"a akward voice said,I looked up and saw Joe Jonas. I nodded my head and went back to reading. "I'm Joe"he said holding out his hand,I took it and we shook hands. Joe sat on the end of my bed,I went back to reading. After a few minutes the book was snatched out my hands. "Hey"I said trying to get it back "so you do have a voice"Joe said with a smile. "Of course I can talk I'm just not suppose too"I said. "Why not"Joe asked "Joe just give me my book"I said advoiding my question. "Answer first"Joe said,I shook my head "you're going to get me in trouble". "Please just answer it. I promise not to run off"Joe said looking me in the eye,I sighed. "I'm not allowed to speak to you. I'm on suicide watch,have been since I've been here. I wasn't even at the concert because I wasn't allowed to go"I said looking down. "How long have you been here"Joe asked "3 weeks"I answered. "Why are you on sucide watch?Well obviously it means you're sucidal but why"Joe asked,I could feel him looking at me but I refused to look up. "Everyone at school hated me. I got bullied everyday. My dad left me when I was 3 months old. He came back into my life through phone calls always making promises he didn't keep. Mom worked a job that always had her home late. By the time she came home I would be sleep. I finally couldn't take it anymore. I never saw my mom because I had to take the bus to school. I was always bullied by practicly everyone because if they weren't just watching or doing it they were laughing. My only friends was my I-Pod and my computer"I answered the whole time not looking at him. "I figured hey if I'm gone mom won't have to worry about another mouth to feed. Besides I'm ugly,worthless,and just a waste of space".I felt the bed shift then 2 fingers gently take my chin and move my head up. I was met by brown eyes filled with emotion. "Listen to me ok. You are beautiful on the inside out. I don't know but I can tell by looking in your eyes,past the pain is a great girl. Don't let morans have you think otherwise"Joe said,I nodded my head tears in my eyes. Joe pulled me to his chest hugging me. After a little while I pulled away and wiped my tears. "Thank you Joe" "no problem"Joe said with a small smile. "I'm Miracle"I said "your name suits you"Joe said. "What makes you say that"I asked confused. "Well it's a miracle that you were found and it's a miracle that I got to meet you"Joe answered with a smile. "I was actually a miracle baby that's how I got my name"I said. "It all makes sense now"Joe said in a amazed voice,I couldn't help but laugh lightly. Laughing,it was so forgin but so natural. "Omg ladies and gentlemen it's a laugh"Joe said,I smiled a small smile. "And a smile! You must like me"Joe said. "Your the only person who's looked past my problem"I said with a shrug. We talked a while longer. "Why are you wearing a hoodie"Joe asked "that's a problem I think is best that you didn't know"I said. "Miracle I'm not going to run off. I'm right here"Joe said gently "you can trust me". I sighed then took my hoodie off. I held my arms out and I heard a soft gasp come from Joe. Joe gently took my arms into his hands and I flinched. Not because it hurt but because I wasn't used to somebody handling me like I was made of glass. "You did this to yourself"Joe asked lightly tracing some of the cuts,I nodded. "I tried to handle it my way. Hide the emotional pain with the physical pain"I answered. Joe removed his hands and hugged me "you're going to be ok Miracle. I believe in you"Joe whispered in my ear,I hugged him tighter. We talked awhile longer,Joe would occsaionaly get me to laugh or smile. Finally his brothers found him. "There you are Joe it's time to go"Nick said. Kevin saw me and gave me a smile "hello",I nodded. "Guys this is Miracle. Miracle you know my brothers"Joe introduced,I nodded and gave a small wave. Nick gave me a smile then left along with Kevin. Joe gave me hug "I'll be back I promise"Joe said in hair then he left as well.


A month later I was relased. That day when Joe Jonas came into my life changed me. Those words he told me. That faith he had in me. It made something click. I haven't seen Joe since then though. I should've known he was going to break his promise,everyone does. I unlocked my door and walked in. I went up to my room and put my bag on my bed. Mom couldn't pick me up from the hospital so I walked. I went back downstairs and poured me some OJ. I took a sip when the doorbell rang. Curious I put the cup down and walked to the door. I opened it and was face to face with Joe. "I told you I'd be back"Joe said looking at me. "But"I started "I know. You thought I wasn't going to come. I didn't tell you when I'd be back because I didn't even know the answer but one thing was clear,I was coming back to you"Joe said cutting me off. "But why"I asked "because I care for you"Joe answered "I have since I heard you speak for the first time",I was shocked. "You could have a thousand girls"I said "but there's only one you. I don't want anyone else"Joe said walking closer to me. Joe took my hands in his and looked me in the eyes. "Be my girlfriend Miracle,please". "You want to date someone you met in the mental ward"I asked with an eyebrow raised. "No I want to date you. A beautiful girl who lost her way and made mistakes but was strong enough to get better"Joe said,I smiled and looked him inthe eyes. "Will you be my girlfriend Miracle"Joe asked,I nodded my head. "Yes Joe I will". Joe leaned in and kissed me. "You're truely a miracle"Joe whispered,I smiled. I had a feeling that with Joe I'm going to be smiling and laughing a lot more.