The silent tears crept down my face as I stand hopeless in the intersection. Between the blurs of my tears I see it… the little black box lying beneath the rubble… the box that lie there unharmed… the black box that held my future, like a mother held her child…

“Nick, help make way for the couch will you please?”

Nick bounded around the room, moving our boxes full of belongings until there was room for our brand new leather couch. The dark chocolate material gave the room a feeling of tranquility. The store bought scent lingered in the air as we made our final adjustments. It’s a beautiful day as the warm sun stretches itself across our floor. A sigh of comfort escapes Nicks’ mouth as he pulls me into his welcoming arms. We stand there for what seems like hours but is only seconds. Finally, when we release each other, he peers into my heart with his baby blue eyes. I am still focused on his eyes when he leans in and presses his warm, soft lips, ever so lightly against mine. The kiss gives me goose bumps as it has every time before.

Nick and I met senior year of college. He was the kicker for the football team and myself… a regular attendee to all football events. I was talking a jog around the track, while he was practicing, as I had done many times before; when suddenly I’m on the ground with a football beside me and a muscular jock running towards me, Nick. He apologized many times and ended with asking me if he could take me out to lunch the next day. Without thinking I said no. His face dropped. He said sorry once again and began to walk away. Then it hit me… Nick had just asked me on a date! I got up and sprinted towards him. Since I was still slightly dizzy, I fumbled over my feet and plowed him over and landed on him. Nick let out an enormous grunt when he hit the ground, but what surprised him most was who had just tackled him. I was the one apologizing until I was blue in the face this time. Nick told me.

“Sarah, you are perfectly fine… I’m used to it.”

I curiously asked that if he was so used to it… then why did he let out a grunt? That got him to mumble and trip over his words. We lay there on the field laughing until his coach came over and asked if he was ready to start practicing for their upcoming game... Nick got red and nodded his head, yes. His coach looked at Nick smiled, said “two minutes.”, and walked off. Nick got to his feet first and helped me onto my own. His blue eyes caught my attention instantly. We smiled at each other when I said “Yes.”. The confusion on his face said it all. With his hands still in mine I told him in my sweetest voice that I would go to lunch with him the next day. His face brightened at the sound of my response and gave my hands a final slight squeeze before he announced that he would pick me up at one and practically skipped off to his practice.

Clearly, that date went well because here we are two years later moving in with each other two weeks before my birthday. What an amazing birthday present right? Little did I know… that wasn’t the only present that I would be receiving.

I woke up the day of my birthday to the smell of French toast mixed with rich syrup. The sound of bacon sizzling in the pan brings me to my feet in seconds. I cautiously round the corner of our room and walk with stealth up behind Nick and pounce on him… making him fling flour everywhere. Laughing on the floor, we looked though as if we just walked out in to a soft snow storm. Our bodies lightly matted with the pure whiteness that only flour possesses. I get up to my feet to help Nick up, when he pulls me back down and rubs egg in my hair. IT’S ON! Flour, eggs, and raw bacon, begin to paint our kitchen as we bombard each other just for good measures. Shortly after we begin our battle, I am out of ammo and need to restock. There is only one problem… Nick is standing on one side of the counter preparing for fire and guarding the load. So with the little bit of hope left… I charge to the side of the counter opposite of Nick and reach for bits and pieces of bacon. I am stopped when Nick grabs me by my hands and quickly drags me across the counter so that I am standing in front of him with my back against the edge of our smooth black counter.

He wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me close. I slip my arms up around his neck and pull him in for one of his breath taking kisses. He pulls away from my grasp long enough for his gaze to mesmerize me and for three little words that have such a big significance, to escape his lips before returning to mine.

After we ate, scrubbed the egg from our walls, and showered, we cuddled up in front of the television to watch movies all morning/afternoon long. We watched “The Notebook” like we had on our second date; which wasn’t fair because I got so emotional and literally buried my face into my folded arms to try to make it less noticeable… it didn’t work.

All the while, we could hear the bustle of busy New York from our windows. The sounds of cars honking their horns, mothers calling for their children to keep close, and hearing “Taxi” every two minutes reminded us of how different it all was from living in Iowa, which is where we are both from.

But before we know it, it is 7:30 and dark outside. We skipped lunch because Nick is going to take me out to a fancy place for dinner as the first part of my gift. I pleaded that he should tell me what the second part of my gift was but he only said that that would ruin the surprise. So, I finally gave up and started getting ready for dinner. I put on my and Nicks favorite red dress that was bare back with crossing around the neck. It is a full length dress with a slit up to mid-thigh, very elegant. I’ve only wore it once before and that was to a friend’s wedding, but I felt though as if tonight was special enough that I needed to wear it.

I walk out into our hallway and Nick smiles from ear to ear, even though my hair is still in a messy bun and my face is make-up less. Nick turned on the television to the local news channel. At this time of night this channel plays music. We glide across the living room floor. The song ends right as he twirls me over to the door.

Nick looked flabbergasted all of the sudden and I quickly questioned what was wrong. He started to laugh and told me that he needed to run to the grocery store “super-fast” to grab more eggs so that he could make the cake that he was planning on making before our “war”. I grinned and told him that I would be ready to go in about twenty minutes but, he insisted on going by himself. So, I didn’t let it phase me. Once again, like two teenagers, he pulls me in for a longing kiss. I felt my body begin to tingle when he pulled away. Nick smiled his comforting smile, said that he loved me and that he would be right back, and left without another word. I went back into my room to fix my hair and put on my make-up. I chose a smoky grey eye shadow to bring out my eyes. My hair, I twisted up into a classy bun and use a silver pin to hold my bangs back.

15… 20… 30… 45… 1 hour and 15 minutes go by and still no sign of Nick. I begin to worry and repetitively call his cellphone only to hear his voicemail. I figure that he must be caught in busy New York traffic and can’t hear it.

From my room, I can no longer hear the sound of music coming from the living room television, but the sound of a middle aged woman with a tone of urgency in her voice as she said:

“Just twenty minutes ago a red Nissan was t-boned by a drunk driver in a dark green Chevy truck on the corner of Broadway and… Officials say the driver of the truck is unharmed. The name of the truck driver may not be released at this time. The driver of the red Nissan, twenty-five year old, Nick Johnson, took a powerful blow on the driver’s side by the Chevy… Johnson is in fatal condition and is being prepared to be placed in an ambulance. Johnson was assumed to be returning home from the grocery store due to the smashed eggs in the back seat. We will have more on this story, shortly after nine ‘o’ clock. Now for the weather…”

No. They have it all wrong… that’s not my Nick… not my Nick…

Suddenly I snap back to reality and fly out the door. I sprint all the way to the corner of Broadway and what else did she say? Broadway… Just find Broadway.

It’s not hard to find the scene… an intersection blocked off by caution tape and bystanders lurking around to find out what the gossip is. I shove my way through the people just to be stopped by a rather plump police officer.

“Ma’am you can’t come through here… run along now.” He scolded

“There is absolutely no way that I am not coming through here… that is my boyfriend!” I cry as I point to Nick, as he is slowly being placed into the ambulance.

The officer looks down though as if ashamed yet guilty and lets me through without any further argument.

I cross over what is left of our mangled car to the ambulance, crying out for Nick. I reach the ambulance only to be pushed away yet again…

“Let me go through… that’s my Nick!” I shout through the tears and frustration.

Both officers look down and I see a tear slip down ones cheek. He looks at me as the tears begin to swell up in my eyes and mutters,

“I am so sorry miss. We tried everything we could, but it just wasn’t enough…” and he fell silent.

Overwhelmed by pain, I cry and scream out…

“Not my Nick… my Nick!”

The tears take control of themselves as the flow freely like a waterfall. Officers try to comfort me but I just shove them away. The only person who could ever comfort me was Nick and now he’s gone. I will never again get to see those blue eyes that always mesmerized me, never get to hear his heart warming laugh, see the smile that he wears to make me feel better…and never again will I be able to feel the warmth of his soft lips as he would kiss me as if it were our last…

I stumble backwards and am forced to envision the horrifying accident. The thoughts scar their way into my heart and mind as I take it all in… the green light… Nick heading back to the safety of my arms… the careless drunk pounding his foot onto the gas… our Nissan being crushed… Nicks life… slipping away…

The silent tears crept down my face as I stand hopeless in the intersection. Between the blurs of my tears I see it… the little black box lying beneath the rubble… the box that lie there unharmed… the black box that held my future, like a mother held her child…

I cautiously go over and stare at it. I’m like this for several minutes before I get up enough courage to grab it. My fingers shake as I begin to pry the box open. On the inside… a beautiful, jaw-dropping diamond ring and on the inside of the lid it read…

“Marry me Sarah?”

Then I realized… the second part of my gift.