The feeling of love makes you high and bubbly; it makes you smile at the thought of the memory. People walk hand in hand showing that they have a connection that is too strong to hide but sometimes there is no joy, no happy memory and no connection but unspoken words. Some people are too scared to show how they feel to others or to ashamed to show the world that they just want to hold someone, rub their tears away and tell them that they will never be alone because of what others will say, how does that class as love? That’s more comfort, comfort of knowing you have someone’s life in your hands that you can just take away by turning your back and walking away.
You’re so close to someone, their name make you smile; their face makes your heart swell and their smile makes you melt; could they ever feel the same? They say they do, of course they do, they want the power, they could hurt you with one word, one action and all you can do is hope, hope that though unspoken words and the firing connection isn’t one way, will they let you fall and burn or will they hold you up and be there? The likelihood of them being there is thin, why would they be? You are everything she wasn’t, why would he even look twice? Behind closed doors your two are perfect together but when they are open, his true light is shown just don’t cry! He wants your tears, he wants your attention but the only problem is- you want his. You want his arms around your, his lips on you cheek but cut it out, it’s not going to happen.
Your just sat there, hoping that the same thoughts are in his head or at least something along those line but you know the only thing his thinking of is, so when home time for me to hit the games. You will not break down; please I am begging you to hold on. Hold on? Yes you do want to hold on, to him, you want a hug, you need his smile but he doesn’t what the fuss of his friends moaning, he doesn’t think you can handle the stress of his friends but you just want to go: ‘With you by my side I can do anything, when will see that?’ but your weak to him, he will always be to top.
Weak? Well he has no idea what you been through. You hide your feeling every day, you fight the need to hug him, cuddle into his side but you are weak! You tell him you hate him, you get pushed aside like dirt but you keep a smile on your face but you are weak! He thinks you going to get hurt by a few words; does he know you at all? Two years and he thinks that the words overdo the love you feel for him, you just want to slap him but you couldn’t, you couldn’t hurt him.
‘I feel the same’, those words run through your head, the feeling circles your heart but you have to push it down, you can’t feel like this again. This is a game and all you ever do is let him win, why can’t you? I just want to have that feeling for a little while, a day, a week or a month if that’s not too much to ask? Am I asking for too much? I just want to feel love by you, to have my heart swell and stay like that, I want to know I can have you to hold no matter what but I’m selfish aren’t I?
Well I am sorry I want you to care. I’m sorry that I have feelings for you, I know it’s wrong but you have no idea what you do to me. You smile is my boost, your touch is my alarm but your goodnight is my sleeping pill. I have the thought of you when I sleep; it sticks with until the sun shines through the window the next day.
I know have I feelings, I don’t know why though but you do something to me, something I can’t explain it but without you I can’t think, its foggy but with you my life shines so bright, everything is so real.
I love you but why won’t you let me show it?