Too Late to Turn Back
It all started with just one kiss. Little did I know my whole life was about to change.
Just the thought of it sent chills down my spine. In the back of my mind was the promise that I made to myself a while back, which was that I would never let myself fall in love with a monster but yet there I stood in the arms of a beast. It all began a year or two ago when he moved to clear water high. Whenever he walked in it was like he was the only person in the room. His name was Justin. He just turned 17 yesterday, on the 20th.
He was gorgeous; thick, long and dark brown hair. He had dimples that slightly carved out his cheek when he smiled with his pearly white teeth. He stands at about 6’4 with caramel tan skin, which made his light brown eyes stand out. When you looked into them they would swallow you into their secret holding crevices. In comparison to me, Ashlyn Barnes; I have light butterscotch brown hair that hangs slightly past my shoulders. Pale white skin that is accompanied by crystal blue eyes, and I have braces and stand about 5’6.
There are only four more days until the annual Christmas party. Every year the junior class has a party for almost every major holiday. Nine hours before the party was scheduled to begin you would begin to receive texts giving small hints about the location of the party. On my way to chemistry I bumped into Justin in the hallway. So I asked, “Are you going to the party Saturday?” Unfortunately he walked away without saying one word.
When I got home I came in put my bags on the table, and went upstairs to my room then changed from my school clothes to something more comfortable. “Sweatpants and a hoodie should do the trick”, I thought to myself. After I changed got settled in, I jumped onto my bed, laid down and got on my computer. I logged onto Face-space and I had one new friend request. It was Justin. I was so excited as if I might burst into confetti any second.
Of course I accepted it then just minutes later I got a message it was from him too. It read, “Hey, sorry about today, I wasn’t in the best of moods.” I replied with a simple, “Oh okay.” Then I got up and went downstairs to get something to drink. I grabbed a 20 oz. bottle of Dr.Pepper out of the fridge and headed back upstairs. When I got to my room I heard my computer ding. I looked to see a new message from Justin. It read, “But to answer your question, yes I’m going to the party Saturday. Are you?” “I sure am :).”I replied. Then he told me he had to go because he had homework. After that I heard my mom call me down for dinner. I went downstairs and ate then did my homework and went to bed.
Finally Saturday had arrived. At two o’clock the first text was out. It read, “If you wear white, you’ll glow in the night. When three O’clock rolled around I got the second text. “Strikes help you win, get to nine the end.” When I read that I then knew that the party was at the bowling alley. So around nine O’clock I began getting ready. I started with a hot pink strapless shirt. A dark blue pair of skinny jeans, with a pair of pink wedge shoes with straps that wrap around my ankle. Now time to accessorize. A chain link belt, blossom pink lip gloss, silver bracelet and ring, lime green scrunchie in my hair, and lime green nail polish.
When I arrived at the bowling alley, I walk in and stop dead I my tracks and my heart skipped a beat. There standing against the wall was Justin. So I spotted a large group of my friends nearby and headed over. We were all standing there talking when Marie said, “Hottie coming our way.” We all turned around to see who she was talking about and you’ll never believe who it was. It was Justin. So I turned around and gave my friends the “go away” look. And Kelcie said, “oh I see now” then she told the girls to come with her to “get some punch”, and they walked away.
He came over to where I was standing and asked, “hey Ashlyn why are you standing here all alone?” I could feel my face start to turn beet red and I smiled, “my friends went to get some punch.” He laughed and said, “Okay so do you want to bowl a few rounds?” I replied, “Yeah, I think I’ll pass.” He asked, “Why?” “The shoes don’t match my outfit.” We both laughed and he said, “Yeah I’m really not that into bowling either.” I laughed and asked, “Then why did you come to a bowling party?” he said, “Because you said you wanted me to.” Then he asked, “Do you want to play some pool?” “Yeah sounds better than bowling.”
I laughed and we headed to the arcade and we went to the pool tables. He looked at me and told me to pick a table and he would be right back. When he returned he carried two cups of soda, one for me and one for him. We played one round of pool, we had a few conversations, he beat me at pool and it was close to time for the party to be over. We were there even after most people had already gone home. When we realized we had lost track of time we headed towards the doors. When we were almost outside he stopped and asked me with his eyes glued to the ground, “so do you want to grab a bite to eat tomorrow and catch a movie or something?” I smiled and said, “Sure, sounds fun.” then he walked me out.
When I got home before I went in, I stopped at the door and thought about what just happened. I opened the door and walked in to my parents sitting on the couch. My mom greeted me with a, “Hey, how was the party?” “It was pretty amazing”, I replied with a huge smile. “Dinner is on the table waiting for you”, said dad. I went into the kitchen made a plate and sat down to eat. After I was finished, I went upstairs took a shower, then went to my room to do my homework .I wrote the answer to my last question and then turned on some music and shut my door and turned it up. I lay down and played the whole day over in my head. Today had been absolutely amazing. After about 45 minutes I turned off the music and dozed off in a deep mindless sleep.
Sunday was pretty much a blur. My mom came in at 9:30am and woke me up for church. I grabbed a pair of black dress pants and a white Hollister long-sleeve shirt and put them on. I brushed my hair and put it in a ponytail with my bangs down and swept to the side. I started on my makeup; smokey brown eye shadow, and black eyeliner to make my eyes stand with just a little bit of mascara to make my eyelashes seem a little longer. After I put on my silver Toms I was ready to go.
We got home around one in the afternoon. We all went to our usual Sunday routine; Dad watching football, mom in the dining room watching her soap opras, and me in my room listening to music. Around 7:30 Mom started cooking dinner. Chicken Alfredo, grilled chicken cut into small strips with creamy Alfredo sauce and thin pasta noodles, Green Beans and Mashed Potatoes on the side.
After dinner I went up to my room and took a shower. When I got out I put on my fuzzy pink pajamas put my hair up and got my jar of green face mask cream and I put it on. I lay down on my bed and turned on some music and relaxed for about 5 or 10 minutes until it hardened. After it hardened it was ready to peel off leaving my skin soft and smooth.
Monday morning I got up and got ready for school. Knowing it was going to be kind of chilly outside I put on a pair of light purple sweatpants which were joined by a pink Hollister hoodie. I walked outside and stood at the end of the driveway as I saw my bus coming around the corner .When he got to my house, I got on and went to the back and sat down then put my headphones in and turned my music up as loud as it would go so I could just tune out everyone on my bus.
The short 15 minute ride to school seemed like an eternity. Finally we reached the school we all got off and I headed to the cafeteria for breakfast. On my way there I caught up to Kelcie and Maria. We talked about our weekend and Kelcie brought up the situation at the bowling alley with James and I. Just thinking about it made me feel butterflies in my stomach. After I told them all about Saturday night they sat in awe. Kelcie said, “I can’t believe you actually were being serious about wanting us to leave, but I gave you the benefit of the doubt and made all the girls leave you to be alone with him anyway.” She laughed and we got through the line and sat down at the tables with our food. When we sat down Justin walked in.
He went through the line and came and sat by me. Kelcie and Maria gave me a mischevious smile and looked from Justin to me. We started talking and then Maria and Kelcie got up and left us there alone. After they left he asked, “What happened to you Sunday?” “I waited for you to call me and you never did, I mean if you didn’t want to go you could have just told me instead of blowing me off.” “Oh my gosh!” “I did want to go it’s just that I lost track of time Sunday then we went to church and it completely escaped my mind.”
The first bell rang and we got up and he walked me to class and he stopped at the door to Chemistry. I leaned back against the wall and looked at him; he put his hand on the wall by my shoulder and leaned on that arm with his other hand in his pocket. He looked at me and asked with the most serious expression on his face, “So, umm do you have a boyfriend?” he traced the lines on the tile floor with the tip of his shoe as he looked down.
My heart began to race. I could hear my heartbeat in my head. I barely managed to choke out a “no” when my voice cracked from my nervousness. A small smile spread across his lips and he looked at me and said, “Is it ok with you if I change that?” I felt the color drain from my face as I stood there frozen. I put my hands in my pockets, looked down and nodded with a big smile on my face. He said, “That’s great.” Then he leaned down and kissed me on the cheek.
Then he headed off to class obviously in no hurry to get there. I stood and watched him until he turned the corner then I reached for the door and I noticed my hands were shaking, I turned the handle and headed inside. Class hadn’t started yet so I had time to waste. I took my seat and ventured off into my own world while doodling in my spiral notebook.
My friend Jessica came in and sat beside me. She noticed that I was zoned out and she tapped on my shoulder. When she did I jumped because I didn’t even notice she had come in. Her first question was, “So, I saw you and Justin in the hallway.” “I want to know what that was about.” She smiled and nudged me with her elbow and she added in, “I want details.”
I sat there and began to tell her the story of what just happened in the hallway. She sat there in admiration, listening to every word I said. When the story came to an end, she looked at me with a huge grin on her face and said, “Well you go girl.” About five minutes later Mr. Davis walked in and started his lecture. He asked for Friday’s homework assignment then the bell dismissed us to lunch.
I walked with Jessica to my locker and I put all my books on the top shelf, grabbed my purse and headed down the hallway to lunch. On the way there I made a quick pit stop in the ladies room to fix my makeup. I applied a fresh line of dark black eyeliner and a shiny layer of blossom pink lip-gloss and then re-joined Jessica to go to lunch. When we walked in the cafeteria the aroma of pizza filled our noses. The delicious smell of fresh baked pizza made my mouth water.
We got in the long line and went through. On my tray I got two slices of sausage pizza a salad and some ranch and a bottle of water. When I got to the front of the line I typed in my number and handed her my money. I wait for her to get done typing in her number and hand the lady at the counter her money and then we found a place to sit. We picked a table that was almost empty with only a couple of other people spread out in random spots.
Jessica and I sat there talking for about 10 minutes. We talked about our classes, weekend plans, her boyfriend and we talked about Justin. Just a few minutes after that he walked in. Jessica elbowed me and said, “Speaking of the devil, he just walked in.” I turned around and he smiled at me and walked by our table to go get in line. When he went by he left a trail of axe in the air.
He went through and sat down by me, I was in the middle Justin on one side and Jessica on the other of me .I introduced him to Jessica he said, “Nice to meet you.” She replied with, “Oh gee look at the time I have to go”, then she got up and left the cafeteria. Justin and I sat there and talked until the bell rang to go back to class.

We were walking down the hallway shoulder to shoulder. Without warning he grabbed my hand and laced his fingers through mine. He looked down and smiled at me and I could feel my face turn red, but to be completely honest I liked it. We walked down the hall and I went to turn the corner to go down 5th hall where my class was. He stopped and he asked, “Can we go the long way?” I looked at him; I guess he could see the confusion in my eyes. He said, “I just thought we could so I can have a little more time with you.” He had an innocent look in his eyes and I couldn’t say no so I said, “Sure.”
We walked the long way and came up to my locker I got my books out and shut it and leaned against it and started talking to him. He did his usual one hand lean against the wall with one hand in his pocket and asked, “So since you ditched me Sunday can we reschedule for tonight?” I smiled and said, “Sounds like a good time to me.” He stood up and put his hands around my waist and pulled me closer to him and he kissed me right on the lips as I melted into his arms.
There was no warning and took me by surprise. Felt as if I might curl up in a ball and roll away and die at any moment. Luckily, I managed to keep my cool. When he pulled away he smiled at me. I just stood there speechless smiling like crazy. I wrapped my arms around his waist and hugged him. I buried my face in his chest and inhaled the smell of his cologne. He put his arm around my waist and walked me to class.
Before we reached the door he smiled and said, ‘Hey, try not to forget about me tonight okay?” and he leaned down and kissed me on the forehead. Then he headed to chis class, fortunately we had next period together. I walked into Pre Calc., slid into my sat in my seat and sunk down hoping Mr. Green wouldn’t notice me. I dung down into my purse and pulled out my notebook and a pen and started to doodle as I zoned out from the noises around me.
After the bell I walked to my next class ignoring everyone in the hallway. The rest of the day was pretty much a blur. I mindlessly switched from class to class, as if I were a zombie. I’m standing at my locker just after the bell rang. People going to different rooms for extracurricular activities, leaving to go to busses, car riders, and teachers going every which way. Through all the chaos emerges Justin. When he came around the corner all the chaos disappeared, we were the only two in the hallway.
He walked up and slid his warm strong arm around my waist as I put my books into my locker. When I got out my purse I put it on the floor by my feet and shut my locker door and turned to face Justin. He was peering down at me with his light brown eyes and his perfect white smile. He wrapped his arms around me and I melted into his firm grasp. He leaned down and kissed me.
As we stood there it seemed as if all the worries or doubts, and thoughts in general just dissolved out of my mind. Not a thought or worry to deal with I was caught up in the moment and I looked up and him to hear him say I lo.. but he was cut short by the final bell. “Crap! That was the final bell!” I said. I grabbed my purse and was about to sprint off when I feel someone grab my hand. I look down my arm and to the hand that had a firm grasp on mine and I noticed that it was Justin. I looked at him as if he was crazy, I guess he noticed the shock in my eyes and the grin vanished from his face. “I said what was that about?” “I’m going to miss my bus.” He looks at me with a solid emotionless face and said, “Well I guess you’re going to have to get a ride from me huh?” Then as soon as he said that he smiled a big toothed grin and walked up beside me and laced our fingers together and we walked to his car.
When we walk up to his baby-blue mustang I tried to open the door and he just stood there smiling at me. Then after a few minutes he said, “Would you like some help with that?” “That would be nice.” I smile back. He pulled the handle and the door opened upward. “Butterfly doors.” he said smiling at me. “That is so cool!” I said. I got in the passenger seat and he shut the door behind me. He went to the driver side and got in shut his door and started driving.
On the way to my house when we arrived at the split road instead of going right he went left. “Where are we going?” I asked. “Just be patient and you’ll see.” We went on for about three miles and we came to a stop by the woods. Justin got out came around and opened my door and he took my hand and with a huge grin on his face said, “This way my lady.” Then he led me on a trail through the woods and we came to an opening. When I looked around and saw the beauty of the woods I noticed he brought me to a perfect view of a lake.
He kissed me on the cheek and told me, “Stay here and don’t move I’ll be right back.” I stood and looked around and waited for him to get back. When he did he sat something behind a tree and came over to me and he had a blindfold and he spun me facing away from him and tied it around my eyes so I couldn’t see anything. I stood there and I kind of jumped when he grabbed my hand and pulled me over and slid off my shoes and walked my onto a blanket. He said, “now I want you to sit down right where you are.” And he helped me sit on the blanket and then he took off my blindfold.
When I looked around where I was sitting to my surprise Justin had set up a checkered picnic blanket with a basket with food, drinks, and dessert spread out around me. I leaned over and hugged him and said, “You know you really didn’t have to do this.” “Yeah I know but I wanted to so I did.” He said. I smiled and handed him a sandwich and got one for me too.
We stayed there for maybe an hour then we packed up everything and he drove me home and dropped me off. He walked me to the door and he was leaned against the wall by the door and looked at me and said, “You know, tonight was amazing.” I looked up at him and replied, “Yes, I know it was the best night of my life.” Just after I said that he leaned down and kissed me then I hear a loud “BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!” I opened my eyes turned over clicked off my alarm clock, and get ready for school aside from my wonderful dream. If only that could actually happen in my real life.