Enough Is Enough | Teen Ink

Enough Is Enough

June 16, 2013
By Queste BRONZE, Scottsdale, Arizona
Queste BRONZE, Scottsdale, Arizona
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

Once upon a time there was a girl. She did not want to fall in love. She focused on schoolwork mostly, and when there was any time left after that she would dream of the people she invented in her mind, the people she made from scratch and painstakingly nurtured with each word she wrote.
That was enough for her.

She liked to daydream about her life and ambitions and small hopes for the Future. There was a shadow faced man in there sometimes whom she knew made her happy. She knew she would find him someday, but not today.
That was enough for her.

Of course there were boys who liked her because she was pretty in her own way and so unconcerned with romance that she never had any problem being their friend.
That was never enough for them.

One by one, they shattered their friendships by asking for something more. Her answer was always the same and they faded from her life as quickly as they appeared, ashamed at the rejection they endured by her hands. But one of them did not.
Her constant answer was not enough for him.

He stuck around and the girl was secretly grateful that he did because she hated the loss she felt each time one of those friendships slipped away. Eventually, she even began to wonder if she had been wrong about him and she began to feel guilty for the pain she must have caused him. She wondered why he was the one who stuck around. She wondered...
Wondering was not enough for her.

She wondered if she had been missing out on something mysterious and powerful, if she had been oblivious to something and he was not. Why him? Why now?
Questions unanswered were not enough for her.

The Second Chance came and she took it eagerly. She wanted to know. She wanted to stop wondering. Of course, the timing was terrible because he was a person too with his own life and ambitions and small hopes and while she had been wondering he signed his name for four years of training thousands of miles away before beginning a life that was wildly uncertain and unstable.
That was his dream and it had been enough for him.

But now, their separate lives and ambitions and small hopes were not enough because they had unlocked a Pandora’s Box of what-ifs that would plague them for the rest of their lives if left unexplored. And since they were young and brave and had nothing to lose, they decided to explore.
Now, their dreams became enough for them.

Oh, how they dreamed. Nothing was left unsaid between two fresh hearts that were unafraid because they had not yet known pain. The distance that separated them was easily bridged by the throbbing energy of their hope. The Future beckoned, bright and clear and so full of uncertaintytheey managed to conquer it with their plans. They were in control of their Future.
This Future was enough for them.

The universe works in opposites though, so to temper that beautiful Future — so perfectly untainted by having the luxury of not happening yet — it allowed the Past to rear its ugly head and poison the Future. Unlike the Future, the Past has already happened and maddeningly can never be changed. Most people just have to accept the Past and move on.
But accepting the Past was not enough for the girl.

After all, it was not her Pastthereatened their Future; it was his. But he was so accustomed to it that he was willing to accept it, to ignore it, to pretend that it was not a problem. The only nice thing about the Past is that you can count on it to never change. The boy’s Past was different though.
For his Past, remaining in the Past was not enough.

The Past did the impossible. It changed. It was so unexpected, so shocking,thee boy did not know what to do. How can unbreakable bonds so comfortingly cemented in the Past suddenly break? Why must the Past so jealously fight to remain in the Present? When it senses it might be losing the battle, why must it vengefully destroy the innocent Future?
Accepting the Future’s ruin was not enough for the girl.

She and the boy began to fight. She wanted him to put the Past in its place. He did not know how, and maybe a part of him did not want to. The Past affects you, haunts you in its promise that it will always follow you with memories. Not all memories are bad and the girl understoodthee boy couldn’t bring himself to let go of both the good and bad of his Past so he could be free to join her in the Future.
Understanding should have been enough.

The Past is more powerful than the Future though. It does not change. It does not yield. You are as committed to it as you are your DNA. It nags at you constantly, outlining your life on the path it has followed thus far and expecting you to not stray from that path as you progress. The Past has no tolerance for wanting to change, and the boy wanted to change. He wanted to join the girl in their Future and look back upon his Past fondly and without fear of loss.
That was not enough for the Past.

The Past wanted to crush the hope of his Future with the girl out of the boy. So the Past began to meddle with the Present so muchthee Future became clouded with the blood red pain of not knowing anymore. The girl walked blankly through each day, feeling the agony of the Past’s obstinate hatred in the pit of her stomach. She wanted so badly to leave this terrible, vengeful, jealous Past that was not even hers behind, but she knew that doing so would mean leaving behind the boy as well. As much as he loved her and believed in their Future, he could not bring himself to part ways with his Past.
The Future had become uncertain now and it was not enough.

The Future could no longer sustain their love because they both reluctantly realizedthee Past had irreparably damaged their version of it. The Past for so long had been chasing behind them, but abruptly one day, it jumped a few steps in front of them and slammed the door to the Future shut. The boy was in deep pain from being caught between the two, and the girl finally knew that she could not rescue him from his Past. His bonds with it were too deep for her to pull him into the Future with her.
This stalemate was not enough for her.

At long last, she realized the futility of her efforts. She realized that after the exhausting battles she had fought with the Past to defend her love, her love had changed. She and the boy only knew how to fight against the Past now, and they could no longer enjoy the Present or dream of the Future without it creeping in. Their Future was gone. The Past had finally killed it.
The sadness she felt at these realizations was more than enough.

They shook her to her very core as the months of slander and self-doubtthee Past had hurled at her finally made her question herself. They threatened to drag her into an awful pit of utter despair from which there was no escape. She had seen girls in this pit before and it was terrifying and heartbreaking all at once. Meanwhile, the boy, the person who had been her utmost companion for all this time, the light of her life, the center of her universe, was also devastated. At first. But then, he slowly began to feel a little relieved. To him, these new realizations meant that he could finally manage his Past — which had crawled, satisfied with the damage it had wreaked, back to its cave — still have the girl in his Present, and begin a new Future.
That seemed to be enough for him at this point.

But even while so blinded with the agony of heartbreak, the girl managed to realize a few more things.
She realized that she wanted to abandon all of this awful, painful Past.
She realized that she wanted to forge her own Future that was free of this Past’s tainting.
She realizedthee boy would always stay in his Past, never admitting to it how much grief it had caused him, and hence would continue to drag it into his Future.
She realized that because of all those previous realizations, she would have to leave him and all the joyous memories he represented in the Past, along with all the horrible memories associated with his Past, so that she could progress into this new, unspoiled Future. Alone.
Being left in the Past would not be enough for the boy: this she knew.

He still wanted to keep her in his Present, which sadly meant trapping her with his poisonous Past.
But the girl finally decided. Enough is enough.


The author's comments:
This piece is based on the very real heartbreak I endured after my long distance relationship with my boyfriend finally failed due to strong resistance we faced from his family. I have been grappling with the spectrum of emotions one usually feels about having to let go of something that is so precious, and writing this short story helped me "realize" how important it was for me to finally let go and move on from this Past. The Future will always triumph over the Past because it can be changed to suit your needs.

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