Years of waiting; years of wanting. Finally the one thing I wanted more than anything came true. My best friend, finally our feelings are the same. A text message on September second, 2013, about five years after we first met; five years since I fell in love with him. I still remember what the text said.
"Hey… I like you… Like I really do, not just saying it. I didn’t realize it until recently"
I stared at my phone for what felt like hours. After five years of watching him love Cam, who was my best friend for three of those five; he finally wanted me. I still had to be sure. In the past he’s thought it was funny to mess with me getting my hopes up only to be crushed again.
“What? Are you serious or are you just trying to mess with me?” I demanded. I could feel the anger welling up inside me, as I assumed the worst. BEEP BEEP. My phone went off again.
“No… I’m serious. I know you must be thinking I’m trying to mess with you again, but this time is different. You are the only one who has always been there for me, you always had my back, with all that stuff with Cami you were always there, I’m sorry it took me so long to realize it… Now it doesn’t matter.”
David, his name had moved to Alabama, a mere two months before. He was right it didn’t matter, not now when we couldn’t even be together. In all the years we had been best friends I loved him as so much more; in the last two years I hid my feelings, and accepted that we were nothing more than friends, (even though everyone we knew thought we were hooking up.) I locked my love for behind the preverbal door, and blocked it from my mind. At this point I realized that I could lie; tell him I had no feelings, deep down I knew denial would get us no where.
“I like you too…” I took a deep breath not knowing what would happen next.
“Really? I thought you stopped, I mean you stopped saying it, and with how close we are… You hid it very well is all.”
“I had to, for my own sanity if nothing else I sat by and watched you with Cam for the last five years, I really was starting to believe that you would never want me.”
“I’m sorry Val, I didn’t realize it all until it was to late. It just all hit me like a week after living here; It hit me how much I missed you. We went from seeing each other everyday to not at all. I miss you so much.”
“I miss you too. You know we can’t be together, right?”
“I know.”
Two seconds later my phone beeped again. “We probably shouldn’t tell anyone.”
“Gee thanks.” This upset me here he is with these feelings, and I couldn’t even tell anyone. Maybe this all was some kind of trick.
No, no! That’s not what I meant. After years of being told we should be together, people just wouldn’t leave us alone, if they found out, and we wouldn’t hear the end of it.”
“Okay.”
“I mean you can tell Annie if you want.”
“The whole school would know by morning lol.”
“True. Plus if our parents found out we would never get to have our summer plan. So we gotta shhhh, no telling.”
This made me smile; I remembered our summer plan. I was supposed to go spend two weeks with his family in Alabama. It was going to be our summer. Two weeks that we just get to be close again; thinking that if we tried hard enough we could pretend as though no time has passed. This plan has been the only thing getting me through my missing him. “Lol. True, true, and anyway I wouldn’t tell Annie this she wouldn’t care she’s so self concerned that she probably wouldn’t care, and just tell everyone, then I’d end up dealing with Cami. Plus your right Vic would never go for it if he found out, and you can never predict how my parents are going to act about everything.”
“Ah our crazy family. Well your crazy family, my crazy step dad.”
“Your mom might be okay with it though. She likes me remember, plus she’ll be glad you’re over Cam.”
“Shut up! Yeah she might be.”
“Still, it’s not worth the risk.”
“We can’t be together.”
“I know.”
As I drifted to sleep that night I thought about all the time David and I wasted. If I had told him how I felt before he left, or if he let his childhood romance with Cami go could we be together right now? It didn’t matter he was gone and I was here. I realized that the time we wasted was meaningless, just more proof to the statement life’s too short to not say how you feel. Maybe one day we’ll have our happily ever after, at least for now we’ll have our summer.