A Void Filled | Teen Ink

A Void Filled

November 27, 2013
By quelquefoisyeah BRONZE, Bassett, Virginia
quelquefoisyeah BRONZE, Bassett, Virginia
1 article 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You cannot save people; you can only love them." -Anais Nin


A girl, Voir, walks down a dark night sky. The snow covers everything, smothering the light. Voir's black wool coat covers her in blistering warmth, along with the help of a bright red scarf and black chullo. Her dark jeans and boots touch the snow, kicking it everywhere.

Voir takes her bare hands out of her jacket and holds them in front of her; the stark paleness of her skin is painfully obvious from where her wrists slide against her black coat. Slow cascading snow gathers in her icy palms. She continues to walk until she comes to a dimly-lit lamp post.

Voir trudges over to the source of light and leans on the unforgiving metal. The light fixture seems to be from another time. The bulb is a large orb casting out warm yellow light in a flickering circle. She feels profoundly heavy and dejected; Voir is a void, the epitome of emptiness. She moves her freezing lips forming words soundlessly, and someone begins to dance in her memory. She closes her eyes against the pain.

There is an upside down smile on an upside down face turned towards her. Voir collapses into the white snow. The memory preys on her weakness mercilessly.

"Hey," says the upside down smile. Voir grins and resists the urge to caress its dark brown locks. "Hey, Nave," Voir says to the upside down smile, now Nave.

Afternoon light is split by the blinds on the windows slicing Nave's backwards bent form into slats of darkness and light. His usually dark eyes are now blazing and gold. His beauty always plows Voir over and leaves her speechless.

"Feeling cool?" Nave questions. Voir smirks and opens her mouth to reply with a bon mot, but something else tumbles out, shattering Voir's world with just three words.

"I love you," replies Voir in a tone bloated with warmth. For a moment, everything is frozen like a gorgeous picture. Nave's smile still exists with his fiery eyes, and Voir is alight with his presence. Voir could be content with this moment forever, but time inevitably moves again shattering the spell. The movement jars everything, contorting the moment into something ugly and broken.

Nave's grin vanishes like an apparition, and he straightens out in a flash. His eyes are now in a slat of darkness, his lips dyed gold. Voir can see each word take form as her world ends, and dread sucks her up through a straw.

"I don't think I feel the same, Voir," murmurs Nave. His golden mouth frowns. Voir swallows, feeling true despair. She knows if she speaks, the tears will come, so she simply nods a yes because Nave always knows best. Voir wrings her hand uncomfortably as the pair stares at one another.

Nave dips down and lays his hand on Voir's shoulder. Don’t touch me, Voir thinks incredulously. Nave's eyes, now in a slat of afternoon light, widen. Voir realizes she had spoken her thought aloud. The lump in her throat breaks open, and tears cascade in rivulets down her face. Nave moves away, eyes darkening once more; he leaves the room. Voir hears the door shut quietly as his exits her house.

Voir plops down on the carpeted floor. The sounds she makes are repulsive and horrendous; they are the sounds of heartbreak and rejection. Sounds of sadness. Once the pain recedes to a silent throbbing, the emptiness infects Voir. She begins to believe nothingness is better than the high risk of pain.

The increasing cold drags Voir back to the shuddering surface of the present. The pain is a ghost in her, still throbbing quietly. In a moment of insanity, Voir dials a number in her phone and brings it to her ear. It rings and rings until that ceases, and a familiar voice plows her over like it used to.

"Hello?" asks Nave groggily. The night had sped on without Voir's consent, and she realizes she probably shouldn't have called.

"Should I call another time?" Voir replies, as if they had never had a hiccup in their relationship. Suddenly, though, Nave's voice is absent of thick sleep.

"Voir? Voir, please don't let this be a dream," says Nave with apprehension.

Voir blinks, "Why do you say that?" A hum of static spills over the line. Voir is about to hang up glumly when Nave says, "I feel the same."

Confused and refusing to be hopeful, Voir questions, "What?"

Static begins again. Voir hums indignantly, hope crackling over her heart defiantly, until Nave whispers, "About you. I feel the same about you." The cellphone is clutched immensly tight in Voir's frozen hand. This time she iniates the silence.

"Voir? Voir, after I left, I felt empty," Voir's eyes widen at this statement. Nave goes on, "I didn't know why. I thought I had known how I had felt all along. I didn't like you. No way I could've. A homeless guy, living from a shelter? How could I ever expect you to love me, someone as successful as you? But the longer we stayed apart, the larger the hole in me got, until it was astronomical in size. You know me, though, intractable as I am. Prideful as I am. I already felt inferior to you in so many ways! I didn't want to give you more power, another card to use against me. But, you're not like that. You never were. All I can say is sorry for the lost time."

Memories flutter across Voir's mind, never monotonous. Nave always came over, and Voir offered him food. His dirty brown hoodie and bleached black hat. The ratty shoes he always wore and his wiry arms. Those things were Nave, not something that made him less. He was Nave, not some homeless person. Voir never looked at him that way, never less than he was. Bittersweet happiness heaves violently at Voir's heart.

Voir clears her clogged throat, realizing that she has been silently sobbing during Nave's confession. She smiles, responding hoarsely, "Nave, I forgive you," a shaky sigh comes over the phone, "but, you know you do have to make up for the lost time right?" Voir can practically hear Nave smirk over the phone.

And, just like that, everything falls into place, like the emptiness had never existed in the first place.


The author's comments:
The light scene was inspired from a personal happening. This story was morphed from that occurrence in my life, except this has a happy ending.

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