My name is Lia. I’m 16 years old with Leukemia. I know, it sucks. I've been fighting this monster for at least 2 years now. At first I went through this stage where I was all depressed and all. Now, I wouldn't say that I’m optimistic, but I’m not pessimistic either. I’m neutral. People are always asking me “How are you feeling?” “Do you need to lie down?” “Do you want me to get you something?” And all I say is, “I’m fine”. That’s the down part about having cancer. People find out that you have it and all of a sudden they treat you like a piece of glass that’s on the verge of breaking. I’ll have to admit that it was nice at first, but now it’s just down-right annoying.
As far as my appearance, I was bald for a while, but now my hair is growing back now. Let’s just say that I have a really short bob. It doesn't look that bad. People tell me that my blue eyes make up for the dark hair I've lost. My mom is always telling me how pretty I look and how the other girls at my school should be jealous. Oh yeah, school. I go to the most spoiled, egoistic school on the planet. When I say spoiled, I mean everyone’s rich. The kids are always showing off what new thing their daddy gets for them from the store. I mean, I’m not poor; my parents are probably just as wealthy as the majority of the parents with kids that go to my school. But I’m not the kind of person that would show off what I have every day, neither is my cousin Kate. We’re more…conservative that the other kids. I’ll just leave it at that.
You’d be surprised at how many people would stare at you in a hallway just because you have “the sickness”. It’s not like a disgusted look; it’s more like a “Poor girl. Pretty soon she won’t be walking these halls anymore.” look. All I do is look the other way. I don’t feel like I should explain myself to people. They’re the ones without manners anyway.
The only person that I know that wouldn't give me weird looks or treat me like a porcelain doll is my cousin, Kate. Besides my parents and my little sister Bethany, she’s the only person that I know I can depend on. She’s only a few months older than me, so we’re in the same grade. She doesn't treat me like I'm sick. She treats me like I'm me. She’s more like a second sister. She’s always there me. That’s one thing that I’ll always be grateful for.
So one day, Kate and I were walking to our 3rd period and the most peculiar thing happened. Bret Wilson (the most athletic, charming, and most crushed on guy of the school) walked up to me and started a conversation. Before I could even object, Kate whispered in my ear, “Talk to him.” and ran to find her seat.
“Hey, Lia!” he smiled cheerfully.
“Hey…” I said hesitantly.
He laughed, “Ha ha, you don’t look like you want to talk to me.”
“Well, being that we've been in the same class ever since we were in Kindergarten and never talked to each other, it seems kind of weird that you’re starting a conversation with me now.” I noted, still holding my ground.
“Ha-ha yeah, I know. I just…I mean I wanted to see how you’re doing and all.”
“Oh...I’m fine, thank you.”
“Good, that’s good.” He said. Awkward silence. I was beginning to get annoyed. Finally I said,
“Look, I know that you know that I have cancer so if you were planning to say ‘I’m sorry’ or ‘I hope you get better soon’, save it. You don’t have to have to say anything. I get enough condolences from people on a daily basis already.”
“No, I just- “ RING. Time for class.
After class, Kate asked me about the conversation as we were walking to lunch. She was as baffled as I was. It just didn't make sense. I decided to just disregard the whole thing, but then the next day came along, and there was Bret again. This time, He caught up with me at my locker right before 6th period.
“Are you making a bet with your friends or something?” I said, irritated.
“No,” he replied.
“Do I owe you something?”
“Nope,” he said, grinning. I rolled my eyes and closed my locker. Unfortunately, we had 6th period together, so there was no way of getting rid of him. As we started walking to class, he offered to hold my books. Without thinking, I let him. He did this for weeks, meeting up at my locker and carrying my books to class. It was weird at first, but then I think I was beginning to like it…
So this past weekend I had to check up with my doctor to see how my treatment was going. It turned out that I had to hear the news that patients with cancer try to avoid hearing. They told me that my body has stopped responding to treatments and that there was nothing they could do to stop the cancer. In that moment, my world stopped, this time for a longer time than it did when I found out I had cancer. My mom and sister started bursting into tears, and my dad just buried his head in his hands. Me, I just sat there, staring into space. I asked the doctor how long I had, and he told me that I had 3 months at the most. Just hearing that brought a certain kind of pain that I didn't even know was possible.
As we drove home, I called Kate and told her the news. I thought she was going to start crying, but she didn't. You could tell that her voice was all choked up, but she held it in. She asked what I was going to do next, and I said,
“I’m going to go on with my life until I can’t anymore.”
I went back to school the next week. Again, Bret was waiting for me at my locker. As we were beginning to walk to class he asked me,
“So I feel like if we’re going to walk each other to class, we should at least find some things out about each other. For instance, I don’t even know what your favorite color is,” he said with a smile.
I half smiled. “It’s green,” I answered. “What’s yours?”
“Blue, like the sky,” he said proudly. We were about to enter our classroom when he stopped me and said, “I think we should continue this conversation outside of school, don’t you think?” I smiled. “How about I take you out to dinner? 7 o’clock?” Before I could answer, he said “Great! I’ll see you then!” and he walked in the classroom. I didn't know if I should feel happy or scared. I thousand thoughts immediately went through my mind.
What is this kid trying to do? Is he trying to get his heart broken? He must know that I’m not going to be here much longer. It would only be fair to tell him. Or is it? We barely know each other. Maybe I shouldn't tell him. But doesn't he deserve to know?
After school, my mom, Kate and Bethany helped me get ready for my “date”. They gave me all of these pointless tips like about how to act and making sure my makeup was always right. It was a bit amusing to find out how self conscious some girls can be when they’re on a date. DING DONG. There goes the door bell. The next thing I know Bret and I are in his car and driving to the nicest restaurant in town.
The date actually went pretty well. It seemed like we both had a lot more in common than I expected. We made this a weekly thing, the dates. Each week we would go to a different place. Eventually there was hand holding, hugging, kissing. I was beginning to believe that this kid really had feelings for me. We must have been dating for a month before reality pulled me back. We were at the beach, watching the sunset when the monster decided to attack me. Our date ended with him taking me to the hospital. I must have knocked out, because when I woke up, I was in a hospital bed with Bret looking right at me with tears in his eyes. I decided that it was now or never to tell him what was going on. I told him everything; about how I stopped responding to treatments, and how I only had about 2 months to live. When I was finished, he studied my face for what seemed like forever. Then he said,
“I’m not leaving you.” Then he kissed my forehead and told me to go back to sleep, and I did.
After a few days, I was released from the hospital on bed rest. Kate came to see me every single day. Bret also made sure he made a daily attendance. Each day he would tell me about the silliest things that happened during the day. When I was well enough to walk, he took me to the beach again. As we sat and watched the sunset, I asked him,
“Why me?”
“What do you mean?’ he asked.
“You could have chosen any other girl at our school, no, in the world. Why is it that you chose me?”
“You’re different than other girls.”
“Because I have cancer,” I concluded.
“Of course not. You don’t act like a stuck up diva. You don’t dress like you just came out of Vogue or whatever it is you girls read. It’s not because you have cancer. It has nothing to do with that. It’s your beautiful smile and your perfect eyes. It’s your amazing personality and your killer self-confidence. Lia Monroe, you are the most real girl that I have ever met. Don’t you ever think that I’m like everyone else and that I only have sympathy for you. I care about you so much and I plan to be with your beautiful spirit for as long as I can.” I didn't ask any more questions. We just sat there for a while and he eventually took me home.
Before I went to sleep, I realized that I cared more about this guy than I thought. He obviously feels the same way. Is this what love is? I thought. If it was, it’s the best feeling ever.
We continued our relationship, Bret and I. Unsurprisingly; we became the most talked about couple in school. It didn't really matter that much to me, as long as I had him.
1 month passed. Then another month, and then another. I was still here. My time was supposed to be up. I figured that my body was regaining its strength. When I went to the doctor, he was completely baffled. He told me that it was a miracle that I even survived a week over 3 months. 2 more months passed by, and that’s when I started to feel major pain again. Eventually I was put on bed rest again, only I never got better. I was getting worse and worse as time passed by. Bret and Kate always stopped by to check on me.
As more time passed, I ended up staying at the hospital. I was half asleep when I heard a conversation that I probably shouldn’t have heard.
“She most likely won’t make it to tomorrow. I suggest you start making arrangements.” The next thing I hear is crying, probably from my mother and sister, and I even think I hear my dad crying. I feel a pair of lips kiss my forehead, along with a tear. I’m full awake now when I see that it was Bret that kissed me. My family and the doctor left the room and then it was just me and him.
“I love you so much,” I told him.
“I love you more,” he replied, overwhelmed with tears.
“Don’t cry, or ill start crying too,” I pleaded, feeling my tears about to flow.
“I wish there was something I could do. “
“You have done something. You've made me the happiest girl on the planet these last few months. I remember the first time you talked to me, I didn’t even want to have a conversation with you!” he started laughing. I continued, “Don’t you see? You’re the reason why I was able to live longer than I was supposed to. If it weren’t for you, I probably wouldn’t even be here right now.” That made him smile. “ Thank you for helping me enjoy the rest of my life.”
“Thank you for being the most amazing person I could ever know,” he said. My family came back in, and we all just sat and talked about memories for the whole day.
At about 8 o’clock, I felt myself slipping away. Everyone started to notice, and the tears began again. “I love you guys,” I said weakly. “Forever.” I felt a bunch of hands on top of mine, and that’s when I closed my eyes. I woke up to find myself looking back at my family and the love of my life shedding tears to my lifeless body. I took one last look at the people that cared for me, and the person that loved me more than anything. My body regaining strength wasn't the main reason why I lived longer, it was him.
I smiled, turned back around, and headed towards the gates