I woke to a blinding white light and the pain in my side gone. I felt as if I had slept for a thousand years. I was rested and sharp, yet drowsiness still clung to me. For some reason, my heart was heavy, but I could not remember why.

Slowly my eyes adjusted and took in my surroundings: Everything was white, outlined in silver; There were trees; a pond; an ever extending sky; a complex, rough, rocky ground; but in one section, was darkness: pure black, and it seemed to absorb the light around it.

Amid all of this, was a little girl, her face in my face, sitting on my lap. She couldn't have been more than 8, but it was hard to tell, because, like most of my surroundings, she was completely white. Her hair was long, and her face almost featureless and always shifting.

She giggled, "You finally woke up, Ed!"

"You know my name?" I asked in reply, a bit scared, a bit dumbfounded.

The girl giggled again and nodded, "Of course, I know all of the names of the people who come here."

"There's others?" I asked confused, looking around, "Who?"

"You can't see them, only me. It’s because I'm the guardian of this place, Shila" she responded, giggling again.

"Ummm... Ok," I said skeptically, "So, what is 'this place.'"

"Why you're in the Light Side of Purgatory!" The little girl exclaimed, as if this was the one line she was waiting to say forever.

That's when shock hit me. Purgatory was where dead people go... Was I dead? Then, when I looked at my body, I became mortified. I was completely white, like everything around me including Shila. I was as white as a ghost, so maybe It was possible that I was dead.

"So... I'm dead," I finally said, "No, that can't be right. I don't remember dying. Not that I've died before."

The girl nodded and looked sympathetic, "I'm afraid it's true."

"How?" I demanded, my breathing shortening and becoming more sporadic, my anger rising.

"Relax," Shila said, "You have to control your emotions and think back."

I tried to calm, but anxiety just rose in me. My throat closed up and my heart beat hard. My eyes darted around seeing white trees, white sky, white ground, and the wall of darkness. Finally my eyes rested on Shila and her calm, sympathetic expression, which helped me become calm too.

"There," Shila said, smiling, "you look much more relaxed."

And with that I was back in the car with my girlfriend, Ellie, the only person important in my life since I was an orphan. This was a memory from when I was alive, with no foster or adoptive parents. I was in the passenger seat, Ellie was driving. Her black hair was hidden under her rainbow hat; her green jacket was zipped tight; her fingertipless white gloves were on the steering wheel; and she was laughing. I found myself laughing too. The speakers played out a heavy baseline that pulsed along with my heartbeat. Snow was falling and Christmas lights on the houses along the street lit up the night.

We stopped laughing and there was a bit of silence, then I spoke up, "I'm gonna miss you when you go off to Europe this spring."

Ellie's smile faded, "I'll miss you too. It'll be really hard without you..."
The visual memory faded after that. All I heard was Ellie screaming and then it cut off. I was back with Shila in the light purgatory. I felt empty without Ellie by my side.

"Why did it stop?" I asked, wanting to be back with Ellie.

"It’s probably repressed," Shila paused and took a breath, "Ed, it was a car crash."

I let that sink in, but I only had one burning question.

"Is Ellie dead?" I asked, hanging onto all the hope I had.

"No, she's still alive... Unless," her expression turned grave, "No, a girl that nice could never..."

"Never what?" I asked with extreme concern.

"Go to the..." Shila looked afraid now, "The Dark Side of Purgatory."

My eyes fixed on the wall of darkness to my left, the same darkness I noticed when I had first awoken here. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Shila close her eyes in concentration.

I gave Shila a strange look, "What... What are you doing?"

Shila shushed me, "Im searching for Ellie."

I gave her another strange look, but waited.

After a long pause, she spoke, "She is still alive, Ed, though in much trouble."

"Trouble? What kind of trouble?" I asked, concern growing even greater in my voice.

"I'll let you find out on your own," she said, the image around me fading, the silver lines separating, the white objects blurring.

"Wait! At least explain Dark Purgatory!" I yelled as Silva too faded.

"It’s where the evil souls go, to start a process of amends," Silva, still calm, waved, "Good bye, Ed. Enjoy yourself."

Silva disappeared after that and I was left alone in complete white. Slowly a room started to form around me.

I was sitting in a group of 5 by 9 chairs. An aisle separated this group of chairs from another, which was to my right. In front of me was a sort of wooden railing, and on the other side of it, a desk. Another one sat adjacent to it, in front of the other group of chairs. To one side of the fenced off area was another group of chairs, except raised, and against the far wall, a tall chair, with a desk around it. On the desk was a placard which read: Judge Horace Reidy. This was a courthouse.

Slowly, people came into formation. They sat all around me, although none seemed to notice me. On the prosecutors side sat two lawyers, one dark haired, tall, and lanky, the other short and plump with salt and pepper colored hair. I looked over to the defendants side and there was Ellie with her two lawyers. Two identical twins, they were tall and lean, with sandy blonde hair and glasses. They both looked attentively at the red faced, overweight, white haired judge. At the witness stand was a cruel looking man in a neck brace and sling, he was balding on top with brown hair on the sides and had dark brown eyes to match; I recognized him, the other driver in the accident.

Ellie looked distraught: her eyes red, her hair in a jumble, no makeup (that was usual), and her clothes had little splotches of water. She looked on the verge of tears. I immediately got up and walked over to her. As I made my way over, a large man walked through me. Yes, through me. How did that happen? I started to think about old ghost stories. But I couldn't be a ghost, I couldn't be doomed to walk the earth alone forever. My heart heavy and my eyes fixed on Ellie, I continued to walk over to her, whether she'd see me or not.

I wasn't interrupted the rest of the way over. I stood directly behind her, separated by the rail.
"Ellie.." I said, "Ellie!"

She didn't respond to either of my calls to her. My hope sunk to an all new low. Ellie couldn't see me, what was the point? Suddenly she burst out in tears. She pulled a handkerchief out and held it to her eyes.

She said very quietly, "Ed... Oh, Ed, why did you have to go?" Her crying grew harder.

Maybe she had heard me? But, nobody went to comfort her, so I reached out naturally, but my arms went straight through her.

"No.." I almost whined, " Oh, god, no."

One of the prosecuting lawyers, the fatter one, sat down after saying, "The prosecution rests its case."

The judge then turned to the jury, although I didn't hear what he said because I was focused back on Ellie. She looked scared and I wanted to help, but all I could do was grip the rail helplessly. Why could I touch this rail but not my Ellie?

Then something caught my eye: my phone. It was smashed, but it was definitely mine. Then I heard the words, "Phone used by the defendant while driving." Now that was a flat out lie. I may, or may not, (like I said, I can't really remember) have been texting before the collision, but Ellie hadn't.

Then I heard the judge say, "This determining a murder case, remember."

"My poor Ellie," I said reaching for her over the rail, knowing she was on trial for my death.

Again, I failed, my hands went through her. For the next few hours, I just watched her (I know, I'm a bit creepy). She would try and hold back her tears, cry anyway, and repeat that cycle. Eventually I started to cry with her. I wanted to hold her and tell her everything would turn out all right, like I always did before; but I was separated from her this time.

Eventually the jury returned.

The judge asked, "Has the jury come to a verdict?"

I tensed every muscle in my body and held back my tears. Ellie was tense too, her eyes wide and fixed on the ground. I'd seen her like this before, she was scared. She wasn't the only one, I was too. My heart pounded and I stared at the head juror.

The head juror spoke up, "We find the defendant not guilty on the grounds of the testimony of George Harkin, who stated that he saw Mr. Lilan, the opposite driver, swerve into the car of Ms. Telonica, the defendant, who swerved to avoid. Also, further evidence shows that the phone belongs to Edward Cunnaway, the dead boy in this case, not Ms. Telonica."

"Is that your final verdict?" the judge asked.

"Yes your honor," the head juror spoke up.

"Eleanor Telonica is proven innocent by trial by jury," He said then slammed his gavel, "Court dismissed."

Ellie smiled, she wasn't going to jail. The only people happier were her lawyers, ecstatic with their win, and Ellie's parents, who didn't want to lose their daughter.

I stepped to the back of the room as Ellie's parents ran over to her. Her dad, black haired and warm smiled, hugged her and her mom, with brown hair, sharp features, and a below average height, cried and smiled.

I didn't hear their words. I didn't need too, Ellie was happy. I sighed, I wanted to be with her, but I couldn't. Her lawyers talked to her, I don't know what they said at all, but Ellie started to break down again. The next words she said I could hear.

"I just want Ed!" She said quietly, but for some reason, I could hear them.
Her dad went to hug her again, and her mom joined in. They led her to the doors of the courtroom and I walked to meet them. There I watched her cry and sob into her dad’s shirt, as her mom comforted her and rubbed her back.

Once she made it to the exit by me, though I knew it may have been futile, I reached for her once more, and I silently whispered, "Be strong, Ellie. You're going to live a great life, and maybe, just maybe, we'll meet in the next one."
She turned towards me and smiled, but it faded to grief again. She had heard me, but not seen me. It was enough to console me, so I tried again.

"Be strong, Ellie," I whispered again, "Remember this. Just remember me."

And then I faded into the unknown. The courthouse turned white, then black, then gray. I was going to wherever fate had in store for me. I was scared for the unknown, jealous of the man Ellie would probably meet and fall in love with, and lonely without her. But amidst all of this was a happiness, a happiness for moving on.