My momma used to tell me that people lived on the sun.

Said that they were the burning souls left over from Earth.

“Can’t we save them, momma? Can’t we?” I used to cry out.

“Nope.” she’d say, “‘Cause they were too stubborn to believe.”

“In what, momma?”

“In souls.”

Now normally this woman made sense, but I never could make sense of that.

Everyone else said she’s dead. No. No no no. She’s still alive, telling me that

Same, stupid saying, over and over again.

She never stopped.



Now this saying, I didn’t get, but I used it. On people’s character. Who would burn, who woudn’t, you know?

My pa would’ve burned. Left my momma when she had me. She herself wouldn’t of sense she came up with it.

Maybe the neighbors, sense they were queens. I didn’t put pity on them for that, but I don’t think I get to really judge who gets burned.

I wouldn’t have burned. I wouldn’t. But I 're. I really f'ed up. You really do when you fall in love with someone who you know deep down would most likely live on the sun.



You grow just to be like to your parents they say. Not exactly, but I was uncanny and insane like they were. In my own way, though. I didn’t have no husband, no kids, no nobody. I was alone, and I was weird for enjoying it that way. Every evening I would just look at the stars. They were the only people I needed.

I was slouched on the ground, that night the stars weren’t smiling like they usually did. They were kinda just there. Upsetting, missing that one little smile.

Til someone sat down next to me. A soft, gentle girl that seemed pretty familiar. Wild hair, wild character, I could tell without her saying a word. Wanted no trouble.

“Whatcha doin’ out here?” she said.

“I don’t know. The stars comfort me sometimes.”

“Doesn’t seem very comforting, you look upset. The sun is more comforting I think.”

I looked at her in the eyes, they were pretty, “The sun? Don’t it hurt your eyes?”

She laughed, “Sometimes. Sometimes it comforts me.”

“You alone?”

“Yep. You seem to be too.”

I started playing with my hands, “I don’t know if I like it…”

“Me either.”

“I mean, I thought I did, but-”

“It’s just not the same anymore.”

“Yeah. Yeah, I guess you could say that.”

She looked back up at the sky, said “Maybe you’re right. They are pretty.”

“More than a sun?”

“The sun’s just different.”

At that moment I knew momma would’ve killed me if she knew.



I told her to meet me again, but on the other side of the hill so we could watch the sunrise. Maybe the sun is smilin’ on the other side. Maybe I’d get what she meant by the sun’s different. Maybe I’m a soul meant to be burned too.

Seeing her actually made a good substitute for the stars not smiling. I thought I didn’t need people, sense when they did grin, it wasn’t for any good.

After that I saw her in the evening, trading off looking at the stars and looking at the sun, trying to prove which one was better. It was a simple deal, a deal where nobody’s heart got torn to shreds in the end.



She finally breathed lightly against my ear, “Ya know, we’re not supposed to be together. We just aren’t.”

“I know,” I said, “I know. But can’t we just screw people for right now?”

“I’d more than love to.”

“Then do it. Screw ‘em, screw life, screw all of it. Just do it.”

“But they’re building a barrier against you. They don’t like me with you.”

I spat, “The hell with the barrier, just come with me. Stay with me. You’re the only star that I have left that still is smiling. No sun can make up for that.”

She kissed me, soft like her soul really was, “I won’t be smiling either.”

She stared into my eyes, she was a star, and I loved that star. I whispered, “You’re the only one left though.”

“How about this,” she stood, “I promise, cross my heart, hope to die, I will see you again. I don’t know when, I don’t know where, but when I see you again, we’ll be together forever. Screw all of ‘em as you said.” she smiled, “I will be with you.”

She turned and ran away. Not another word. I figured out that she wouldn’t be the one on the sun, I would be.

I screamed, “I’ll find you again, I promise!”

I cried because I knew I’d never see her again.