I feel a tingly sensation spreading up my burning cheek. Vowing to myself that I would never turn back I ran to my best friend Jesse’s house. I picked up a small rock and tossed it at his bedroom window.

“Ava? What are you doing here?” he asked groggily, walking outside.

“Jess…’ I said starting to tear up from the pain swelling across my face, “he- he’s been drinking again.” I awkwardly tripped up the stairs to his open and warm embrace.

“Let’s get out of here… I don’t ever want to see him hurt you again. We can leave tomorrow it is too late to do anything tonight and you need to sleep.” He said in a hurried whisper more to himself than to me.


I wake up curled in jesses arms, his face burrowed in my brown curly hair. Jesse wakes up a few minutes later mumbling sorry and moving away from me. The only thing he doesn’t know is how much I love that.

“Hey jess?” I say, my voice cracking. “Will you come back here… Please?”

I see his face relax as he walks back to the bed and lies down by me. Just as he settles and I close my eyes, the phone rings. Jesse reluctantly gets up and answers the phone.

“Hello?” Jesse was pacing around the room and then stopped suddenly. “Are you serious?” he says into the phone. I watch him run his fingers through his hair and think how sexy he looks right now with disheveled hair. Jesse hung up a few minutes later and slowly walks back over to me.

“Ava…” pain and worry drip in his words. “Ava, I am being enlisted in the military to the war in Iraq. I’m so sorry…” he looks down at the floor when he says the last words.

I dumstrucklingly look at his built body. “When do you leave?”

“In two days.”

“What do I do? What do we do?!”
I’m not sure, but we still need to get you away from your father.” He finally met my eyes. I have never wanted someone more.

“Jess-“ I start to say as he walks towards the bed and lays next to me and puts his hands behind his head. “I-“

“Shhh…” he whispers as he leans down to kiss me.



A day later we step off the plane into South Carolina. Jess goes left to men in uniforms and I go to the right to no one, this is my new home. I write my first letter when I get home and receive one back about a month later. Lately I have been feeling really queasy, but I still manage to write back.

Dear Jesse,
I miss you so much words can’t even describe. I got a coffee shop like the one I used to tell you about when we were younger and it is doing marvelous! I can’t wait for you to come back. Every time I close my eyes I imagine our last night together. I went to the doctor the other day because I haven’t been feeling well and I found out I’m pregnant. We are having a baby!
P.S. I love you



love, Ava

A few months later after closing up the shop I find a letter waiting at the foot of the door for me. This one was thick and in a manila envelope with an important looking seal. My hands shake and I begin to sweat as I break the seal.

Dear Ava,
This is one of Jesse’s friends. I am sorry to inform you but Sergeant Jesse D. Fitzgerald was killed in combat. Please call if you need anything. Jesse was one of the best men I knew and talked about you all the time.

I held my breath until now and I fell to my knees and lost all control. Finding one of Jesses old sweatshirts I pulled it over my head and soaked in his musky cedar cologne. I fell asleep in the oversized sweatshirt and cried into a dreamless sleep. My dream come true coffee shop and my child were what pushed me forward. The coffee shops backroom was turned into an arcade/hangout area for my child and other children to grow up in and enjoy.


Travis Jesse Fitzgerald was born May 17. He had his father’s blue-green eyes and my straight nose. Jesse’s birthday was 12 days later. When Travis had just turned 5 I brought him to Jesse’s grave. We walked hand in hand and I set a bouquet on the grave and picked up a small box that was laying there. Travis slipped his small hand from mine and ran his index finger across the indented letters and rested his hand on the picture of Jesse that was placed in the middle. After we left I pulled the box out of my bag and took it to my room to open. A cassette was lying inside with my name and a ring attached. I put it in and listened to jesses smooth voice talk to me.

“Hi Ava,
I know you are probably busy, but I really miss you. You mean the world to me and… I love you, with all my heart. I want to marry you but I don’t know when I will be back. So please take this ring as a reminder of how much you mean to me. I told my friend to give this to you if I don’t come back. I will love you eternally.




Love, Jesse

“I love you too” I whispered to myself. I wipe away my tears and force a smile pushing my room door open and staring down at the diamond ring, I walk to our son.