Dear Ethan
Well, well it’s come down to this. The unsent letters of my love. Why did we have to break up? Was I that repulsive? Scandalous? Crazy? Non-normal? Or maybe it was the fact that I was being selfish and wanted you all to myself, knowing full well where I did and didn’t stand in your life. Somehow I was aware that basketball was your number one love, and as a fool I entered anyway, convincing myself that we were soul mates; that you and I would be high school sweethearts and then college lovers. Boy was wrong. My friends say I should give up on you, find another man they say. If he wanted to let go of you so easily then it’s his lost. But did you let go? Or did you just walk away not accustom to inviting people into what you feel like is the sanctuary of your mind. As I write out the burdens of my heart we accompany each other in a suggestion privately for us on how your cupid character should approach the people he meets and helps out. We are now underneath the status of friends and nothing more. Though flowers grow in our field,
Heartsearching, Aurora

Dear Ethan,
Talk about mixed emotions. What’s going on with all these signals? They say you can tell when a girl’s in love by her smile, and you can tell when a guy’s in love by his eyes. But the way you looked at me today was something else. Almost like I was someone so interesting you couldn’t tear your eyes away from, but then you have no idea what’s so interesting about this person that you’re glued to. I mean it could have been all in my mind as I am a part of the band and most people haven’t seen us together, let alone play in front of an audience. Now it was in the auditorium so anyone could have been watching that intently. Granted it was probably a sight to see, but it shouldn’t have been for you. You’ve come looking or interrupting our practices for Janet or me so often that it shouldn’t have come as a shock. Even though, when we broke up you seemed to avoid places I frequented a lot. I guess it was a new experience again. When I went to get my flute after doing that risky jump off the stage, almost losing my footing and breaking it, you were talking to Dexter so animatedly I figured it was that whole ‘you move on with your life and I’ll move on with mine then we’ll meet in the middle as Just friends when it’s convenient.’ But after the first set we did, I looked over my glasses for the next notes but saw that you were frozen in place staring at me which made me feel like a museum display. It probably wouldn’t have even bothered me had you not been looking my way. I looked right back at you and for a split second it was just the two of us again. Then my curiosity got the best of me and I turned to instruct the other flutist on their parts playing in accord with me as I noticed that you were still staring. From that experiment I knew deep down you were and knew that you weren’t looking at me. You are a complicated soul. It reminded me of the way you use to look at me except this one wasn’t filled with lust and possession. I use to love when you slowly dropped your eyelids to mid way gazing at only me. Somehow your eyes turned gray with speckles of green written in them even though your eyes are as brown as chocolate. I wish I knew what you were thinking gapping at the band or maybe just me. Sigh, I guess I’ll never know.
Shaking my head in disbelief, Aurora
Change ppls names around
Dear Ethan,
I never did give you the chance to explain yourself before I became rash. It was because I’m already and impatient person on top of that I’m a run- around-er. Now I’m not condoning any of my behavior but I want you to know how I felt during one of the many times/ trials that we had to go through:
February 11: Let me just say on the record that my boyfriend Ethan Logan Reynold is Just Perfect! After not texting me all weekend I see him at the beginning of the day, smile tease him and he walks right into Ms. Singleton's class never to come out. Granted he did have his project which he was suppose to turn in on Friday, but still. I didn't see him after that until I came outa the lunch line, where he was sitting and laughing with Taylor. The two of them waiting for the line to go down. By that time my declaration was put into full force. 'I hear by declare, i shall not and will not worry or get carried over Ethan Logan Reynold.' And for the rest of the day i didn't. I'm tired of caring for someone who exspects me to do all the serious stuff but feel it okay to play around. WELL NO MORE! I won't do it! I can't do it! The whole him and Taylor thing is way past me. But i refuse to be looked at like i did something wrong when i hang out and enjoy myself with members of the opposite sex. Like on Friday for gym Ms. Debby and Coach Brooke told everyone to walk around the gym. At first Ethan started walking with Taylor but she got sleepy and laid down on the bench. Then he proceeded to hang out with Marcus and Noah. During this whole process i was walking with Grace, but we caught up with Finn and Dexter and i got into a crazy argument with them about how i tried to kill Finn. As if. Sometime during our convo Ethan ended up in front of us walking alone. I did notice that every couple of outbursts and laughs he would look back at me with this sad face. Grace said she notcied it too. Good, i deserve to relax. He should know what it feels like to see your siginificant other with people of the opposite sex enjoying themselves. Knowing that you trust both of the parties but can't help and feel jealous.
One seriously screwed up girl, Aurora

Dear Ethan,

Now that I got to get everything off my chest I fill better. I’d been harboring these feelings of torture, being at a school where you are the star of the show, you are there, you are very prominent. It hurt to see you smile at other people, at other girls, to not claim you as my own, to long for that look you would give me, that touch that made my skin flush. What was a girl to do but smile back, seem productiove, and make it look like it wasn’t killing me inside that we weren’t together anymore. You said you’d been wanting to ask me about it for awhile. Well there’s your answer. I just never expected yours. You told me you felt guilty about the way it ended but you caused it. You’re the one who’s feelings for me switched off like a light going into the darkness. It sounded like you felt sorry but not enough to miss me. I felt better about our relationship but what I want to know is what is our relationship you say friends I say I’m not sure, I want you to trust me, to be your confidont, the person you reach out to in need but I guess to do that I would have to be completely quiet and all cards of a romance would have been thrown off the table. I want to accept you fro who you are but I also want a relationship as in a one filled with passion, lust, romance, and trust. All the things we had plus our intelligent conversations were something that marveled me even as I was engaged in it. Is it wrong to want you to count me in the fold of your ‘trusted seven’ but still wanting you to call me bab. I know it’s lame but true.
Say it ain’t so, Aurora.

Dear Ethan,

Why didn’t you tell me? Why have I been an -------- this whole time. I am a ticking time bomb that destroys everything in my path except for you. You’re the only good thing that I could love. But now that I know how you feel I believe I understand. People always ask the question of saying an ex is an ex for a reason but what reason would apply to us? *smile* you make me happy but if to not ctahc any feelings for you I have to avoid you harder than the bubonic plague I’m prepared for that. I finally get it. Maybe a couple months too late but you broke up with me so you wouldn’t hurt me because you too loved me or else you wouldn’t have cared. You broke up with me to focus on you and your senior year and I finallt get that! I get that to grow as a person you had to let me go. Almost ;like rye had to let go of his girlfriend in 'B.o.d.y.' so she wouldn’t be hurting to find out that he had become a -------------- again. It’s the same concept cept the --------- part. You hate even talking bout sex and I respect that and understasnd it to some degree.
With my eyes wide open, Aurora

Dear Ethan,

This shall and will remain the last letter that I ever send to you for I am a mere child in your eyes and want nothing more than to keep the biggest distance that we could. It won't be too hard now that you're graduating.
Felling Stupid for so long, Aurora