"Do you think I am easier to be played on than a pipe?" I ask. I couldn’t hold myself back anymore. She was looking at me with her eyes open wide, her mouth agape; she was at a loss of words for once.

“I can’t believe you!”

“I’m sorry” she says.

“What about last night? Did that mean nothing to you?” I take a couple steps back from her “You told me that you lo . . .”

“It didn’t mean anything.”

“You said you didn’t care about him that you really wanted to be with me!”

“I said it didn’t mean anything” she repeats, like an underfed parrot.

I take a seat on the bed, when I find the courage to look at her; I see her blue eyes looking right back at me. A single tear rolls down her cheek, I stand up again and try to wipe away her tear but she pushes my hand away. I sit back down.

“I was drunk” she says, “It didn’t mean anything.”

“Frailty, thy name is woman!” She brings her hand up to her face, as if putting a barrier in between us. “Just because you were drunk doesn’t mean there wasn’t truth in your words. You told me you loved me, not him.”

“Why now?” she says. “Why did you have to tell me now? He says he loves me, and now you’re telling me the same, I don’t know what to do.”

“Do you have any feelings for him?”

“I . . . I don’t know . . . it’s just that . . .”

“It’s a simple question; do you or do you not have feelings for him?”

“Yes,” she says.

“God hath given you one face and you make yourselves another. You were just telling me last night how little he meant to you.”

“I’m so sorry” She sits down beside me and reaches for my hand and holds it, letting our fingers in twine. I want her more than anything.

“What are you doing with him?” I ask. “He can never love you like I can. He doesn’t know you. You need someone who loves you unconditionally, who doesn’t care if you are too lazy to put on makeup, who doesn’t need you to dress up for him.” I pause, taking in a breath. “I’m that guy.”
“What about him” she says. “He says that he loves me.”
“I know him better than you do. You two have nothing in common; your relationship is and never will be anything more than just a physical attraction. Call it what you want, but you and me both know that it isn’t love.” I stare at her, choking back tears I just stare at her. We are so close I can see my reflection in her eyes. I move my head foreword to kiss her, but I stop myself.
“I can’t do it” I say. “You say you love me one day, and have feelings for someone else the next. You can’t treat me like this; I need an answer from you. Will it be my heart, or will it by his?”

She opens her mouth as if to speak, but no words come out. She tears her gaze away, not able to look at me. “Perfect” I say, “just perfect.” I grab my coat and head for the door. I look back at her, hoping she will say something, but she still can’t bring herself to look at me. I put on my coat and walk out the door.