I looked away as you brushed the loose strands of hair behind my ears, tucking them away.
"You're so beautiful..." You whispered as you did so.
I shook my head, blushing more than ever. "I'm nothing special."

You sighed softly, lifting my head up and turning it to face you. You slowly closed your eyes as you leaned your face towards mine. This was it, the moment you were finally going to kiss me. The moment I've been waiting for, for years.

You pressed your lips to mine. Not too soft, but not too hard. But I felt nothing. No fireworks. No zing. No love. Nothing.

But I kissed you back, hoping that I would maybe feel something and wishing that you would feel something too. The more we kissed, I continued to feel nothing. Maybe to feel something, we would have to do something else. I knew exactly what that something else was.
"I'm ready..." I whispered hesitantly.
A smirk grew widely on your face, this is what you wanted. "You sure, baby?" You chuckled.
I nodded softly. "Just don't make me regret it." I whispered, scared.

You smirked as you began to kiss me rougher. Your hands roamed my body, touching me where no one ever has. I kissed and touched back, hoping everything would finally fall together. Off came our clothes, moments later I felt a stabbing pain. The pain went on for a few moments, then the pleasure came. The pleasure wasn't as amazing as everyone made it out to be, but it was still pleasure.

The pleasure continued. But as it did, I still felt nothing. No fireworks. No zing. No love. Nothing. Just maybe lust.

The pleasure ended just as quickly as it started.
"That was amazing..." You smirked down at me.
I nodded in agreement, faking a smile.

You were right it was amazing, just as amazing that I was hoping it'd be.

Now I lay here, a month after that night. Listening to my music on it's highest volume, trying not to think of you. But no amount of sound could drown out my thoughts of you. Trust me, I've tried.

I was hurting, but you didn't care. I know you didn't. You didn't call or text after that night. I felt used. I felt like trash. Didn't you think I was a little young to mess with? Only fifteen, but ruined forever by someone who didn't care. But that's what you wanted though, right? Another girl to ruin. Another girl to take advantage of. That's the kind of guy you were, I knew it too. I was just too dumb, too innocent so I fell for your tricks. Every one of them.

You win, you got what you wanted. I lose, I got nothing. Expect a broken heart.