“What does he look like?” Kate asked. Her thin blonde hair fell into her face as she leaned forward as if trying to pull the answer out of me.
That was the type of girl Kate was though. She always wanted to know everything. Her famous line was ‘how do you feel?’. She was nosy in a slightly obnoxious way and she was always interested in the opposite sex. Kate was a little boy crazy and with her looks she had no problem getting the male attention she wanted. Her need for attention often got her in trouble not only with the boys but her girlfriends. Her hair was always perfectly straight and her makeup looked like it had been done by a professional. She was big breasted and flaunted her girls like they were first place trophies. She was wild and somewhat of a whore when she was around guys, but there was no denying that underneath all her looks and promiscuous behavior there was the kind, ‘how do you feel’ Kate.
I gazed past her head, avoiding eye contact, at the red row of lockers on the wall behind her. I looked down at my lap and fiddled with the hem of my navy blue uniform skirt. Kate’s question echoed in my mind as I thought of how to describe him.

He was standing there with his perfect, bright smile. The wind blew through his shaggy brown hair. The salt water had made his naturally wavy hair even wavier. His jaw line so defined all I wanted to do was touch his face. The sun gleamed off the salt water and sweat that glazed his soft skin and toned body. His freckles were now noticeable on his tan skin. The golden sun of the July sky was sinking behind him. He looked like an angel emerging from heaven. He was better looking than any Hollister model. The sunset look vapid compared to him. He ran to me. His strong arms open lifting me over his shoulder. He laughed as I struggled to get away from him. He took off towards the ocean throwing me into the freezing Atlantic. Just before I went under I got a look of the mischief in his sparkling blue eyes. His eyes reminded me of the ocean. They had depth as if they were holding secrets. They were mysterious and when he was mad you could see the storminess in his eyes like a coastal storm. On a regular day I would have to stand on my tiptoes to see into them, but that day he was lying on the beach with me on top of him, our faces equal. It took everything I had not to kiss him, but I gave in and softly planted my lips against his. His lips were sweet like watermelon and I couldn’t get enough.
“He’s cute.” I sighed, wrapping the black string hanging off my skirt around the tip of my index finger.
“Don’t be so vague Al! What’s he like?” Laurel playfully slapped the side of my arm. She was athletic and muscular so her slap stung a little.
Laurel was the love doctor in a way. She didn’t believe in the physical aspects of relationships. She believed in true love and I swear if she could get married at 16 she would. Once Laurel had a boy she was off limits to any guy at a party, or any guy that would look at her when she was out with her girls. She was the faithful, motherly type. She always did what was right even if that meant she would be miserable. I guess to put it in better words, she let people walk on her. She kept to herself and kept her mind focused on her softball teams. She was undoubtedly a beautiful girl, but you could always tell by just looking at her curled hair, stylish outfit, and bright makeup that she tried too hard to fit in.
I shook my arms if shaking off the pain. I shook my head trying to shake out the memories of him.

The sink was piled high with blue ceramic bowls and silver spoons. After taste testing 30 American and UK cereals, he had decided that Apple Jacks were his favorite. When I asked him why he said it was because it tasted like my kiss. Ever since then, his cabinet always had a box of Apple Jacks cereal on the shelf. He threw the dish towel at me before escaping into the living room saying it was my turn to wash the dishes. I rolled my eyes and reluctantly started washing the bowls and spoons in the cast-iron sink. I could hear the sound of the videogame, the click of the controller, and occasionally a few swears come out of his mouth over the constant splurge of the running water from the kitchen faucet. I looked out the window and noticed that it had just begun to snow. Each snow flake seemed to sparkle. Warm arms wrapped around me causing me to jump. His soothing voice whispering in my ear, ‘I love you’. He took the soapy bowl out of my hand and placed it in the sink. He turned me around and looked into my eyes. “Hi beautiful.” He softly whispered as if it was a secret. Those two simple words made my heart flutter. Because I had washed the dishes I got to be controller one when we sat down on the soft ivory carpet in his living room to play videogames. He wasn’t playing very well that night. When I looked over at him I found him already staring at me. Blushing, I asked him what he was staring at. He only shook his head with a goofy smile on his face that made me just want to kiss him. And when I thought I couldn’t be more in love with him, right then and there he farted. He laughed hysterically as I buried my face into the nearest pillow.
“He’s funny and nice.” I said smiling as I thought back to one of the earlier memories I had with him.
“Why won’t you just tell us about him?” Hannah said irritated. “We tell you everything. I tell you everything! Why did you keep this from us?” The anger on her pale face left and was replaced by sadness.
Hannah always seemed to be upset or emotional or have some sort of mood problem. She didn’t really understand love so when she would hear about it she wanted to know it all. She listened wide eyed as if she was a child that was being told their favorite bed time story. She was the girl that never believed love would come her way. She had walls up and was hard to get through. Her appearance radiated ‘don’t talk to me’. Her streaky dirty blonde bottle hair was always in a ponytail and unless there was something important going on she never wore make up. Everything about her just screamed ‘I don’t have time for any of you’. But underneath her bitchy appearance there was a girl who was just longing to be loved.
“Because…” I whispered looking down at my lap again. My eyes started to fill up.

I looked over my shoulder, suitcase in tow. Standing behind the velvet rope, he gave me a meek smile and a wave goodbye. Holding back tears, I moved forward and boarded the plane. This was the kind of sadness that created pains in your chest like if having a heart attack. The tears that were held back strained your throat like being sick. Your lungs just seemed to concave, to not exist. You can feel the tears filling up in your eyes as you try not to let them spill like drops of water on a penny. And worst of all you are in the wrong place at the wrong time and you can’t do anything about it but hold it in. Holding back these emotions were like throwing pebbles into a raging river expecting it to stop. This was an experience I had too often. Each time boarding you would think I would get used to having to say goodbye, but it’s not like the saying “it gets easier” because it doesn’t. I found my way to my first class seat in isle C. As the plane lifted off the ground my heart leapt and I felt the first tear slide down my cheek. I touched the cold plastic window as if trying to pull the plane down and grasp him. With blurred vision, the lights of the city slowly grew smaller. The tears started spilling out in a multitude. The dam I had tried to put on my feelings was gone. My heart slowly broke as the plane gained altitude. All of this was too familiar. The tears and the heart break almost seemed normal to me. I had sat in the same blue leather airplane seat, looked out the same doubled pained scratched window, and cried the same tears each time I left.